Summary: Chapters 9–12

While Hinton begins adjusting to prison life, in Chapter 9, “On Appeal,” his mother continues to fight for him and his appeal. She even sends small $25 money orders to his attorney, hoping these will help her son’s case, although she has little money to take care of herself. Hinton has trouble remembering much about this period of his life because he was consumed with rage and hatred for the prosecutor, Bob McGregor. In fact, Hinton begins to worry he actually is becoming what the state has accused him of being: a murderous monster. Around this same time, Hinton first hears about Bryan Stevenson, a lawyer who represents many of the other death row inmates. Although they speak about Stevenson as if he were a mythical figure, Hinton cares only about what his own lawyer can do for him.

In Chapter 10, “The Death Squad,” Hinton describes getting used to the rituals of executions and the smell of electrocuted flesh. After Sheldon Perhacs tells Hinton that his initial appeal has failed, Hinton must decide whether to keep Perhacs or find another lawyer. Perhacs wants $15,000 to continue representing him and suggests that his mother mortgage her house to raise the money. Insulted and infuriated, Hinton fires Perhacs and asks Lester to make sure Perhacs doesn’t bother his mother. He also requests that Lester and his mother not attend his execution. One day, when a guard visits Hinton on a nonvisiting day, he worries his death date may have been set. In a panic, Hinton regrets turning away from God. Instead, however, he learns he’s been given a new attorney, one from the Equal Justice Initiative (EJI), which won’t cost him or his family any money.

Chapter 11, “Waiting to Die,” opens just after Hinton’s appeal to the US Supreme Court is rejected in 1989. Hinton feels more depressed than ever, reflecting that “God may sit high, but he wasn’t looking low.” However, as he wallows in self-pity, he hears another prisoner crying at night. Hinton ends three years of silence as his compassion moves him to speak to the other prisoner and ask if he’s all right. The other prisoner has just learned his mother died. Led by Hinton, who now remarks that “God may sit high, but he looks low,” the rest of death row offers condolences and then listens as the grieving man tells stories about his mother. Hinton makes friends with another prisoner named Henry in Chapter 12, “The Queen of England.” As he adjusts better to life on death row, Hinton finds he can escape the despair and tedium of prison through his imagination, taking imaginary trips to visit celebrities, the Queen of England, and his own mother.

Analysis: Chapters 9–12

Hinton’s loyalty and trustfulness are his most consistent personality traits and help explain why he continues to hope that Perhacs will save him. Although Bryan Stevenson will later become an important figure in the narrative and one of Hinton’s closest friends, when Hinton first hears of him, he dismisses him as a fantasy. Hinton remarks that he doesn’t believe in anyone as good as Bryan Stevenson, according to others’ descriptions, just as he doesn’t believe in “Santa Claus either.” His lack of faith in Stevenson, whom the inmates treat as an almost messianic figure, mirrors his break with religion and loss of faith. However, even in his worst moments, Hinton remains honorable and protective of his mother. He refuses to let Perhacs approach her because he knows she would give up everything she owns to help her son. He doesn’t want her to attend his eventual execution so that she won’t have to watch her son die. Hinton’s new lawyer, sent by Stevenson’s EJI, is a marked contrast from Perhacs: she is shown as warm and compassionate, unlike Perhacs, who is shown as callous and smug.

Hinton’s three years of silence during the initial appeals process is a further development of his turning away from faith. By refusing to communicate and staying silent, Hinton not only tries to protect himself from further incrimination but also tries to punish the world for locking him up. Denied freedom, Hinton withholds his voice as one of the only powers he can exercise. However, when confronted by the misery of another prisoner, Hinton breaks and speaks up. His realization that “love was a choice” is one of the major turning points in his narrative as it begins to change not only him but also death row. By speaking up, Hinton actually gains more power because he improves the lives of the other prisoners and fosters a new communal spirit among them. Hinton gains another power that helps him survive death row when he learns to go on adventures in his imagination. Throughout the rest of the memoir, his imagination serves as a place where Hinton can free himself and live a life richer and more rewarding than any he would have experienced before his arrest.