Sophomo Year

I feel like my parents have made many mistakes in my early childhood years and those are things that have shaped not only them, but also me. Those critical times were my learning experiences of what was a positive or negative action from just being the observer. I sometimes have a tough time loving them for those actions,

I grew up in poverty with a small family, which consisted of my mother, sister, two step brothers, and my father who has a no contact order with my sister and me. Many of my peers often complain about how much they hate school and would rather be at home. But for me school was my escape from another world. A world I have no choice but to withstand. A world where shootings are common, where drugs are everywhere, where police patrol every Tuesday and Thursday; the darker side of Seattle. With both my parents being immigrants coming from war-torn countries we had no choice where to live, to eat, and to learn. As a family, we had no help from anyone so we had to keep our head up and persevere.

Time and time again I've found myself declaring education as the central pillar of my growth and development, that of which has been consistent throughout my life and educational career. From the age of 8 I've attributed school and learning as a way to escape the outside world, both willingly, and as an involuntary coping mechanism; school was a refuge, a safe place where I could build healthy relationships and escape my worries. I felt valued by my teachers, and I was given opportunities to contribute to a community, and for the first time felt autonomous- and that I could control my future.

From a very early age, I always assumed it was a part of my future to pursue an education. The American educational system engraves the importance of school at a very young age. Elementary school children are motivated through rewards when they try their hardest to reach their goals. Students are exposed to statistics and facts outlining the consequences of not getting a college degree as soon as they reach middle school. High school counselors and staff make it their priority to ensure that students apply to college. Students are conditioned to believe that education is the building block to a successful future. My cultural upbringing did not support my choice to pursue an education, however, I refused to conform to my family’s behavioral expectations because certain norms must be challenged due to progressive time periods and conflicting values.

Education and school. Some of you are now grimacing at the prospect of being trapped inside a classroom. Others are now thinking what I wouldn’t do to be able to go back and start all over again. Now don’t worry, I’m not going to convince you that you should love school. My job isn’t to change your perspective on school like a politician would do.

An average person spends about 9% of his or her life in school. That’s roughly 14,000 hours in school from the time you enter kindergarten, until the time you graduate high school. Growing up we almost always swear that going to school is the worst possible thing our parents could ever make us do. We thought of it as a punishment rather than a privilege. I had these same emotions majority of my school career, until I met the one teacher who made me excited to come to school every day.

Throughout my entire childhood and now of being in school, was like having someone holding a gun to my head forcing me to go. The gun was my mother and her bullets were her words, so every day she pulling the trigger for me to get to school. There was no option of me staying in to watching television, staying in bed, or even staying in my night gown till the next school day. There was none of that, even if I tried to miss the bus she leash her rapid bullets for the whole drive there. Every day I had an excuse not to wake up at 530 in the morning to get ready for school, it was horrible. Now imagine, being woken up already showered, dress, eaten breakfast and yet you still don’t have the energy, mind set, or soul to go to school. Let me give

Up until I got into high school. I actually enjoyed school prior to my transition into high school. I was a B student and quite happy with a 3.0 GPA. At the time, I really did not give my education much thought. In other words, I did not think about my future then, and education had little value in the great scheme of life. However, I still enjoyed school, and had perfect attendance not missing a day unless it was absolutely a must. Unless I had a rare case of some unforeseen sickness as to keep from infecting others with some viscous illness I was suffering from at the time. It was not until I made the big move into that hierarchy of education that really changed my mind. This new experience of education was so different, so terrifying, so difficult, and overwhelming that I felt there was nothing else to do, but stop attending. I failed so miserably bad it cracked and crumbled the very foundation in which I spent the last nine years constructing. Without this foundation, I was nothing, I was stupid, and had nothing to offer.

I still maintain to this day that school is a place to learn languages, learn maths, learn history, and, most importantly, learn how to learn. It is not a place to learn conformity or regulations that have no bearing on society, or becoming a drone who automatically accepts everything an authority figure tells them.

Being around all the new upperclassmen gave me anxiety. I didn’t want to mess up in front of them and look dumb. Anyways… other than that, for other freshmen ninth grade is the easiest, but not for me. I didn’t have an English teacher to explain anything about the class. I didn’t even know how to write a complete essay when that class was over.

I detested school. Then again, I also detested being a child. I think I must’ve had a very high level of self-awareness at a young age, and I certainly didn’t appreciate being bossed around by a

Things was completely different but the same. The work was harder and different from the work I had in middle school even the teachers I had was also different as well. My transition going into high school was different. It happened to be a different type of scenery and I didn’t expect for that to happen to me at that time. Being a freshman opened up a whole different world for me that I wasn’t really ready for. Going into highschool, I had friends I thought I would be friends with for my entire life. As soon as I got to high school things started to change. On top of the friends I had I also made new friends as well. When I was a freshman I had to look up to the upperclassmen to guide me and to lead me by example. When I was a freshman, it meant I had to be on my P’s and Q’s. I felt a lot of pressure when I was a freshman especially from teachers. Fitting in while I was a freshman wasn’t a good start for me because I wasn’t really involved into any school activities or

I remember going into my freshman year of high school nervous but excited because I thought I’d learn so many new things. Next thing you know I found myself dreading school. Was I being lazy? Was it my lack of motivation? I still can’t grasp why exactly I lost that excitement or that yearning to go to school. I was raised to have the idea that school was a place to learn not socialize. But at the age of 14, what teenagers don’t want to socialize and that’s what got a hold of me. I spent too much time worrying about other things that didn’t involve my education.

My family of seven often became the victims of circumstances beyond our control. However, I was never left without an escape from my less than ideal reality. I had school. I loved school. Education changed my world, and this is my motivation to teach.

School, to me and among many peers of my age, is not a distant term. I have spent one-third of my life time sitting in classrooms, every week since I was seven years old. After spending this much time in school, many things and experiences that happened there have left their mark in my memory. Some are small incidences while some have had a great impact on me. However, regardless the degree of significance, things that happened all contributed to shape the person that I am now.