Personal Narrative: A Year Of Growth

I motivated myself that I wanted to change, I wanted to succeed, and I wanted to be the change. I strived to change, and I succeeded, although I have not met my full potential, motivation towards myself helped me change. I attempted to take risks, talking to myself in my head relatedly, “I don’t have to try, I will try in high school”.

Over my years of school, one big influence on me has always been sports. Ever since a young age, I have always enjoyed playing and watching sports. In my four years in high school, I have fell in love with the sport of lacrosse.

High school. The place where your supposed to find yourself, determine who you are and who you want to be. Some people take this opportunity for good and some take it for granted. Those who abuse this opportunity end up broken and lost and they never find their true self’s till they have lost everything they ever thought they had.

Week one has passed by quickly! I think this week was very successful and I can say that I have learned many new things. This week has been an experience for me learning things about the business world. I am not a business major so I was not expecting to take these classes. I was assigned them, but have found them very beneficial. As I read through the first couple of chapters I read things I had heard before. This was a good thing that I could put the information with the terms I had heard previously.

Overall, my first semester has been going pretty well. The semester is going like a roller coaster up, down, and fast. I have some bad days and some good days. Through this semester, I have many challenges I faced which I honestly did not want to face. Even though I just wanted to dodge or run away from the challenges, I still face them and fought through them. Some challenges I face this semester, hopefully not in the next, are procrastination, time management, and laziness. I have not only gone through challenges; I have also gone through successes. I am proud of turning assignments on time, passing tests and quizzes, completing my SCR points, and being involved in clubs. Being in Biomed has helped me grow as a student in the area of knowledge.

Prior to high school, I had done well in school, but did not drive myself to . Towards the end of my eighth grade year, I had attended my brother’s award banquet and noticed that there were students winning almost every award and were recognized for being at the top of their class. At that moment I decided that I wanted to be like the students who did well, but I knew that there was a large amount of effort required. Once I entered high school, I greatly increased the effort that I put into my classes. I spent more time studying, consulting teachers, and completing assignments, all while balancing sports and other extracurricular activities. My grades had drastically improved and I knew that I had succeeded, but I wanted to achieve more. Through my sophomore and junior years, I pushed myself in harder classes, became an officer in many of my activities, and increased my involvement with new activities. Presently, I am well known by my community and school for my academic achievement and service through leadership. This chain of events has increased my work ethic, responsibility, and drive for greatness. Moreover, this experience has allowed me to develop into the devoted, confident, and disciplined person I am

Have you ever been so desperate for something that you modify your motive in its entirety? Throughout my life I’ve found myself placed in this frightening situation multiple times; the most confusing of which would be what I’ve endured this year. People in their 20s have it rough. We’re old enough to feel like we’re supposed to know what we’re doing, yet young enough to roll in the tide aimlessly and clueless and it still be acceptable. Then there’s those of us who believe we’ve got it all figured out only to be proven tremendously wrong. I have learned, however, that being tremendously wrong can lead you right where you need to be.

Growing up with a father in the military, you move around a lot more than you would like to. I was born just east of St. Louis in a city called Shiloh in Illinois. When I was two years old my dad got the assignment to move to Hawaii. We spent seven great years in Hawaii, we had one of the greatest churches I have ever been to name New Hope. New Hope was a lot like Olivet's atmosphere, the people were always friendly and there always something to keep someone busy. I used to dance at church, I did hip-hop and interpretive dance, but you could never tell that from the way I look now.

“I change as soon as I walk through those doors” (30). It wasn’t until recently that I’ve not felt as if I was under the requirement to evolve into a materialistic copy similar to all of the girls in school, difference being frowned upon and rejected. I had my mind set on chipping away at, what I believed to be, the imperfect details. Little did I know, those “flaws” of mine are what make up the unique individual that I am today. I was so focused on becoming the person others wanted me to be that I neglected to notice how important it was that I stay true to myself and my interests. However, I still have my fair share of daily struggles with anxiety. Feelings of self-inadequacy bombard my mind, continually leading me to believe that my best isn’t good enough. I have, in fact, been steadily working towards allowing myself to let this negative energy run its course, instead of covering it up and shoving it away. Being mindful of the aspects of my life I am insecure in, I have been able to shift self-deprecation into an opportunity to be kinder to myself. When I begin to notice myself feeling inadequate, I have acquired the skill to dwell on it or to simply, let it go. I am devoting this school year to shedding my skin of insecurity, becoming more in tune with myself, and being unphased of opinions from other individuals. I believe this year will be a great one. I am eager to expand my knowledge, witness my mental growth, and continue my journey of discovering inner

There isn’t much I do in the Summer. I go biking, swimming, and sleeping, for the most part during Summer time. All of this changed the Summer of 2009. I was sitting in the backseat by myself. My two brothers were in the next seats, then my parents. The heat this Summer was brutal. The heat was like being a gladiator in the Roman Colosseum that has no chance of winning. The only thing, besides the heat, that made this horrible was that I was going to a waterpark. This would be a gift for many kids, but it wasn’t for me. I had a terrible fear of waterparks. I’m not sure why it was just something I always had.

Summer 2014 was one to remember. I spent three weeks in Illinois with my cousin, Anna, who was two years younger than I at the time. Meaning I was 17 and she was just a mere 15 years old. Most people would think that since I’m older I would be the one to corrupt her and insist that we do wild and crazy things. However, it was quite the opposite.

“Five more minutes,” I respond, while rubbing my eyes, then rolling onto the “cool side” of the bed.

Island life is nice… if you don’t live it every day. I’m sure any teenager you ask born and raised on any small island like St. Thomas will tell you the same:There are barely any clothing stores, grocery prices are high, and the worst part: there are only two public high schools. The metaphor, a “big fish in a small pond” becomes real to you, especially one you enter middle school . After enduring this for about five years, I decided that I needed to leave St. Thomas ASAP for the sake of my education, my future and, most importantly, for my sanity. August of 2016 I boarded a plane headed northward to Georgia leaving my parents an empty nest early, to live with my aunt and uncle. Four hours from my new life, I was hit with the most agonizing realizations :I don’t know anyone. I don’t know how to act. Georgia? I don’t know her.

My life has endured many changes at a personal level. As a young boy with a loving family and a solid formation, any person who knew me was aware of the type of respectful and mature boy i was. In contrast to the type of person i am, my academic maturity at that time proved otherwise. Throughout my life i have been known to be very open minded and respectful, but at the same time hard-headed. After many years of doing things with no specific purpose or goal, my father taught me my most important lesson that will never escape my thoughts. After a rough argument over my report card, he used the word mediocre to explain the type of person he thought I was becoming. At only 13 years of age I felt utter disappointment in myself and knew it was time for a change.

I never wanted to deal with anybody .I started seeing the world as a dark place. I always wanted to be alone and i felt like everyone was talking about me like i was always doing something wrong and something about that feeling played with my emotions. I soon ran into something that felt like depression. I always thought about the negative things that could happen which started to run people away which made me feel like the odd one out of everyone. However, me looking back on how this affected me was crazy. I’m kind of mad at myself for not finding a different way to maintain what i had going in the beginning of junior year. Everything that i felt that year could've been avoided if i just found a different way to be happy. Since all that happened , I've had a different view on how i handle things and on how i see the world. Now I find different ways to stay active, even if it is to clean around the house, help my mom at her job, help someone who seems to be struggling, running a couple of blocks..etc . I found these ways by someone pushing me to be better