Summary: Chapters 15–17

Ijeoma Oluo begins Chapter 15, “But what if I hate Al Sharpton?” by discussing how people often either side with Martin Luther King Jr. or with Malcolm X. A common sentiment is that MLK was peaceful and loving and that Malcolm X was filled with hate and anger, and people in the United States largely believe MLK to be the superior leader in the fight for civil rights. Leaders today in the fight for racial justice are labeled in accordance with this dichotomy: they are either Malcolms or Martins. Modern racial justice leaders, like Al Sharpton, are often seen as Malcolm types and are characterized as being bad for race relations. Oluo says she’s been accused of being too angry—more like a Malcolm—and that this does a disservice to the struggle for racial justice because she turns people off. However, she says, the real problem is not that people dislike Malcolm types; it is that they mischaracterize Martin Luther King Jr. She points out that his views were seen as very threatening by the government—much more so than the views of Malcolm X. This, she suggests, is because the goal of MLK was the same as Malcolm X’s, “freedom from oppression,” and this goal was always the real threat because it was a threat to a system built around white supremacy. She also says that even though MLK is characterized today as being nicer than Malcolm X—and nicer than MLK ever truly was—Black people should not have to be nice to have justice and equality. Justice and equality are not only for those deemed to be deserving.

Oluo also discusses “tone policing,” which is shifting the focus of a conversation about oppression to the way it is being discussed rather than the issue being discussed. Typically this is meant to make the more privileged person more comfortable. Tone policing is saying, for example, that the conversation can’t continue because someone is expressing anger or pain in ways that are uncomfortable. She notes that “hurt feelings and rudeness are not oppression” and that people of color are talking about racial justice because they are literally dying from systemic racism, not because they enjoy it. So people of color may express some strong emotions and should not be told they are not being polite enough to be heard. She suggests that white people try to focus on the common goal of justice, rather than on whether they like or dislike the way others are fighting for it, and build up their ability to tolerate the discomfort that may come from these discussions. She reminds people of color who are being criticized for their tone that their feelings are natural and justified given the prevailing systems of racial oppression, that they matter and deserve better, and that they deserve to be heard.

In Chapter 16, “I just got called racist, what do I do now?” Oluo recalls that George W. Bush once said that being called racist for his delayed response to Hurricane Katrina’s destruction was a low point in his presidency. She says that this kind of reaction to being called racist is common in white people, who seem to think it is the worst kind of insult and can become enraged beyond reason when someone even suggests it.

Noting that this chapter is for white people, she continues with some suggestions about what to do if someone calls you racist. She asserts that if you are a white person living in a white supremacist society, you can’t avoid being a racist. You may not hate people of color, but you’ve absorbed racism, and it will definitely manifest in some way in your life, even in ways of which you’re not aware. So if you want to contribute to racial justice, you should use being called a racist as a chance to learn about yourself and, in learning, to do better. Her tips if you are called a racist are to listen without getting defensive or jumping to conclusions, put your own needs and intentions away for a while, and try to learn why your words or actions were seen as racist. If you see you are at fault, you should apologize and try to make amends. If you conclude that you did not do anything wrong, it is OK to explain your perspective as long as you don’t try to deny the other person’s experience of the event.

In the final chapter, “Talking is great, but what else can I do?” Oluo explores the way talking about race can be a substitute for action—one that makes people feel good about themselves without making any real change. She admits that talk is important; understanding racial injustice matters. But understating is not the same as action. She gives several suggestions for dismantling systemic racism and white supremacy, including voting in local elections for candidates of color and those who promote racial justice, working for economic equity by supporting businesses owned by people of color and boycotting businesses that discriminate against people of color, donating to organizations working for racial justice, and supporting police reform and raising the minimum wage. Citing several examples from real life, she emphasizes that small actions add up, so it is important to be persistent.

Analysis: Chapters 15–17

Ijeoma Oluo wraps up So You Want to Talk About Race with some practical advice. Chapter 15 emphasizes, once again, the importance of accepting that a commitment to talking about race is a commitment to discomfort. Even though it would be comfortable for white people if people of color didn’t express their anger and hurt, the comfort of white people isn’t the goal of talking about race. The goal is to begin solving the problem of racism, and this goal will not be reached if the focus is on preserving people’s comfort. Chapter 16 continues this train of thought, dealing with the extreme discomfort white people feel about being seen as racist. In both of these chapters, she notes that when discomfort arises in a conversation, there’s a tendency for the person feeling it to shift the conversation away from the topic at hand and toward their own feelings. This is a defensive, protective action. But it is also counterproductive.

The final chapter is a departure from the rest of the book in that it shifts from how people can talk about racism to other actions they can take to dismantle it. Inherent in this shift is the idea that while talking is important and words do have power, other things have power as well—voting, giving money, boycotts, and the like. Conversations are an important tool in dismantling systemic racism, but they are not the only tool in the toolbox. 

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