Chapters 4-6 Summary

Henry recalls his late father, who, despite having an engineering degree from a top Korean university, had been a grocer in America. The family started out as part of a tight-knit community of other Korean Americans. Later they moved to the suburbs. Henry notes that his father seemed uncomfortable in the suburban setting but had been proud that Henry could speak such good English. He recalls that his father had liked Lelia. He’d been surprised by this but concluded that his father was pleased that she was white.

Henry’s mother died of cancer. His father showed little outward signs of grief, and Henry had mimicked his father’s stoic refusal to display emotion. One day his father brought home a Korean woman to be their housekeeper. She did not interact much with Henry. She never learned much English. Henry recalls how Lelia had been appalled and angry that he never knew the housekeeper’s name. In the wake of this argument, Lelia tried to become friendly with the housekeeper, who rebuffed her.

Chapters 4-6 Analysis

These chapters explore Henry’s childhood memories of the struggle of being an immigrant family. When his parents were poor, they were part of a supportive community of people with similar experiences. As they prospered, they moved into a suburban setting, where they were starkly confronted with the differences between Korean and American culture. Henry’s parents stayed in their cultural bubble while pushing Henry to become Americanized. They take joy in evidence of his success in this, such as marrying a white woman and speaking perfect English.

At the same time, there remains a chasm between Henry and a “native speaker” of the culture, like Lelia. The characters’ fight about the housekeeper is one illustration of this chasm. He has always called the woman “Ahjuhma,” a polite form of address to an unrelated Korean woman. Lelia naturally assumed this was the woman’s name. When she finds out the truth, it feels like a betrayal. She is shocked to discover how different their assumptions about the world are. In the aftermath of the argument, she tries to befriend the housekeeper, who clearly does not want to be friends with a white American woman. Henry also notes that his parents did not even address each other by name, only by role: spouse, husband, wife. The reticence with which names are used may contribute to Henry’s struggle with identity: is he defined by his role within the family and culture or by something more personal? To save his marriage, he will need to develop his own identity, one he can share with Lelia.