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Stoner Bro-Personal Narrative

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He flushes instantly, beautifully, reminded of how this whole expeditious train ride started. He retains presence of mind to jerk his head away and make a desperate lunge for your phone. He’s too slow, naturally; by your estimation he’d require roughly 5 more years of strenuous reflex-oriented swordfight training to stand a chance of catching you. You’re being modest, really. You’d say 8 to be conservative. Not to brag though. You dance away from him effortlessly, chuckling at his attempts because he’s just so cute when he’s trying to play dirty, his groping hands are too clumsy to snag a substantial grip even on your loose street clothes. Plus, he’s still kinda covered in his own come. Goddamn he’s adorable. He hits you with a petty glare …show more content…

Then lowly, with a shameless leer at your crotch, he adds, “But I guess you’re going to need that tonight, anyway.” His accompanying grin is sunlight-- giant adorable nerd-ass teeth and all. And he’s not wrong. The intercom dings and you give John a last quick kiss because you’re a gay sentimental fuck before turning away, but just before you reach the doors, Stoner Bro catches your attention. He hefts his arm over the edge of the divider, offering a grimy clenched hand up to you, and he’s got this doofy, knowing grin plastered on his face and you really wish you could say you had enough shame to give a shit about what he might’ve heard. You huff a shocked laugh, and then what else is there to do but indulge him in a Congrats-on-the-Sex victory fistbump on your way out? You make a mental note to wash your hands later, for a few good reasons now, and you toss your headphones in the first filthy trashcan you pass. Get it? It’s symbolism. Dre’s entire farcical over-priced empire belongs in the garbage. It gets you thinking. Cause you know, gas is really expensive these days and taking the subway is actually way better for the environment. It’s like your civic duty or whatever to protect those rainforest trees and the dying whales and the ozone bubble, right? That nature shit’s like, so rad. Caring about the environment is totally

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