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The Key Stone Cops: A Short Story

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“Go ahead”…Touch a toe on the wrong side of the chains; mess around on the elevators and press all the buttons, or one of the worse–get caught on the roof (I never went on one.) and of course – (“Go ahead.”) ride your bike on the sidewalks. These are a few of the crimes you could commit to have a Stuytown cop take your name. He’d stop you with a verbal beckoning, “Hey kid, get over here,” or he’d wag his big fat dirty finger in a come hither gesture. “Shit I’m snagged.” or if I was a newbie offender, I might internally bellow, “I just pooped my Wranglers.” Officer Joe Bolton [1] (Wow! I pulled that name out of my ass.) would whip out his little memo book as he lectured you about the consequences of the vile act you just committed and the possible punishment for your devious act. …show more content…

On one side of The Oval they plopped a small cop booth and the odds were good you’d be spotted and then hunted down. The Key Stone Cops…I mean Stuytown Cops would set up a dragnet. [2] Okay, it wouldn’t be as drastic as a dragnet but they would be on the lookout for you. On occasion, when we were bored we’d break a Stuytown law just to have the coppers chase us all day to give us something to do. (They wouldn’t try too hard. “Oh, is that a donut?”) I made it. To this day my name remains Thomas Francis {John} Bradley. ~ [1] (I had to Google the name to figure out where deep in my mind I scraped it from.) Joe Bolton was the host of the WPIX show "The Clubhouse Gang" and "The Three Stooges Funhouse" as Officer Joe Bolton. Bolton was also the Police Chief host of "The Dick Tracy Show". wikipedia.org [2] A dragnet is any system of coordinated measures for apprehending criminals or suspects; including road barricades and traffic stops, widespread DNA tests, and general increased police alertness.– Google ~ ~

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