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Social Adety : Causes And Effects Of Social Anxiety

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Social anxiety-- The first thought that comes to mind for most people is the fear of talking in front of others; however, I’m different than most people. When I hear this word a million different thoughts run through my mind. Fearing constantly that every time you catch someone laughing by you is that it’s about you. Keeping your mouth shut because you're afraid if you say something wrong you’ll be judged. Not being able to do the activities you enjoy in front of others because the fear of them hating it haunts you. Possibly that you avoid social gatherings altogether. Maybe just the small actions; for instance, such as eating in front of others. This is the way I have been ever since third grade and getting over this fear is at the top of my bucket list.
As a tiny third grader, you would be under the impression they would be all joyful and without a care in the world but I wasn’t one of those kids.. I was bullied all through third grade from getting named called to even sometimes getting physically hurt. My whole life changed back in elementary and as I became older the bullying continued to get worse and with that my anxiety did too. I slowly became quiet whenever anyone tried to talk to me. Constantly hoping the teacher wouldn’t call on me because I was afraid if I answered wrong I’d get laughed at. Stopped eating at school because I was afraid people would start calling me fat again. The worse part of it all was this knot I would continuously get whenever I had to present in front of my classmates or teachers. Gradually, as I became older nothing actually changed except for the fact that I wanted this stupid fear to stop because it was beginning to mess with my everyday life.
As I glided from grade to grade more activities that I could join became options but I was consistently too afraid to try. One example would be in seventh grade. Since I’ve endlessly loved basketball, I decided I would join the team. Before even making it to the first practice my brain began to race with what if’s. What if during the game I completely mess up in front of all those people in the stands? What if the coach never lets me play because I’m horrible? At that exact moment my mind decided for me that I just couldn’t do it.

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