preview

Mall Santa University Research Paper

Satisfactory Essays

Everyone 5 and up knows that although Saint Nicholas existed; thankfully, there isn't a cheery fat guy with flying reindeer somehow slipping down your chimney to deliver presents while also knowing whether or not you've been naughty or nice. Speaking of which, how can he deliver presents to 2.2 billion kids?! And another thing; how can he survive in the Arctic? Being upon, if not the most, inhospitable place on Earth, it's practically impossible for any human being to live that far up north; not including global warming nor any of the other residents. For the scientific logic behind Santa, click here. Image result for mall santa animation Anyway, it's easy to assume that pretending to be Santa may seem like a simple job; but there is reason behind why thousands of theses "aged sugar-plums" wear the suit each year. Not to accommodate the hundreds …show more content…

Malls don't just accept any street bum looking for beers money; they look for graduates of Santa University. Every Santa-in-training has to pass their background check and real beards; bleached or otherwise. For those who passed go to Santa University in Arvada where hundreds of "girthy greats" come to learn the Santa basics like how to ho-ho-ho just right, what the reindeer's names are, where the secret bathrooms at the mall are, what the trendiest new do-dads are and more. Image result for creepy santaThough there are some parents who actually want their children to scream and kick in Santa's loving arms, all it takes is for that one kid to fall off his knee; then Santa would pay hundreds of dollars in damages; even worse, Heaven forbid, a place on his own Naughty list. That's why experienced professionals always carry their own liability insurance. In fact, there's an organization dedicated to these types of incidents; the International Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas. It's a real thing, and gives Santa a group rate on insurance should an "incident"

Get Access