Internal Comments:
No. While the idea that we choose to see the world either optimistically and pessimistically is beautifully expressed throughout the poem, it comes across as trite in parts. The main idea of the poem is not completely developed - instead, the author spends too much time on unnecessary side characters. In addition, there are several errors in terms of grammar as well as imprecise word choice.
To the First Reader:
Dear Denee Freeman, thank you for your commentary on submission 10405 (“Kaleidoscope Eyes”). All of your comments are formatted correctly, and I particularly appreciate your depth on your specific comments. In terms of things to work on, I would recommend being more gentle in your wording. A question posed with language
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The author does this by presenting a variety of snapshots of people with this grey world view, lingering on the last snapshot of the family, to expand on the kaleidoscope view of the children. You’re obviously aware of how language impacts mood, and do a nice job choosing their words.
I wished this poem had more showing, instead of telling, such as with the failed marriage and the will to continue living. I think more specificity in your images, would eliminate both some of the moments where the poem borders on cliche as well as the moments that distance the reader from the snapshots. Personal details with make the poem stronger, and feel like the reader is in your snapshot scenes.
The second note for revision I have for this poem is to think about the form. Right now the form isn’t particularly helping you, and in some places with the uneven spacing and unnecessary stanza breaks, it actively hurts your poem. I would consider fewer stanzas personally. I wonder even about having a very regimented line, stanza, or even a syllabic pattern, except for those lines speaking about kaleidoscope eyes. Thank you so much for submitting to Polyphony H.S.; continue
Construct a close reading of this poem that demonstrates your awareness of the poet’s body of work.
I think these key images all tie in together. All of these memories and past experiences say that he has previously been a very emotional person because of the things he has gone through. In the beginning I was feeling it was dark and mysterious, but as I continued to read it, it became clear of what he was trying to say and express parts of his life. These lines are what define the real meaning of the poem. These lines have real meanings and memories behind them and you can tell that just by simply reading it a few times, and thinking about the thoughts he had expressed in the poem.
Imagine what it would be like to live on mars. ‘’Dark They Were and, Golden Eyed’’, Ray Bradbury’s short story, takes us to a dark world full of Martian life. In 1980 this story was converted into a radio play by Michael McDonough. Both versions share the same story, but the text version is more effective in creating Dark mood of the story.
The house, family, belongings, and privileges one possesses can all be taken away by a speedy trial or a jury's final call; a court is an unwelcoming place where people are convicted of villainous acts they may or may not have done. Stereotypes, prejudices, and racism has flourished greatly in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, allowing various assumptions without even containing proof in some cases. Tom Robinson, being accused of rape is found guilty by many of Maycomb, but however his dark complexion leads others to believe this was the reason for him being put in this terrifying position, although he was actually innocent.
This revision guide is intended to support the work you have been doing in class on the following poems:
Because the poem is long, it won’t be quoted extensively here, but it is attached at the end of the paper for ease of reference. Instead, the paper will analyze the poetic elements in the work, stanza by stanza. First, because the poem is being read on-line, it’s not possible to say for certain that each stanza is a particular number of lines long. Each of several versions looks different on the screen; that is, there is no pattern to the number of lines in each stanza. However, the stanzas are more like paragraphs in a letter than
I really like how you present small snapshots of the narrator’s life and environment through each ‘couplet’/pairing of lines within this poem. However, I feel as though you are limited by the shortness of the poem, as you are not able to provide further details. I would recommend further fleshing out and developing the poem, if you feel that it is necessary or at all beneficial, but nevertheless, you are certainly able to convey a plethora of ideas in only seven lines—wonderful job!
I have decided to expand this short literary analysis paper into a research paper in a bid to explain fully the issues about the poem. The poem has a vast base of issues that need critical analysis in the interpretation to bring out the real meaning behind every word used in the poem. The literary analysis paper sort of locked out many ideas in the poem due to the brief nature of it. By going back to the poem and also reading from secondary sources, I intend to use this research to more vividly describe the themes of the poem as per my own understanding and that of other people. By reading from secondary sources, I will get the understanding of others and cite it in my research paper.
The video“The Empire of the Eye” taught me about the visual perspective. This form of art was created in Florence, Italy by Brunelleschi and he called it the linear perspective. The key component was that parallel lines converge at the vanishing point.
were dirty and loud”(Morrison 87).She is teaching her son how to acknowledge the difference between black people, the colored who would be fair skinned and the African Americans who are dark skinned. She did not want her son Junior to play with dark skinned black people because she found them to be dirty and loud. This was one problem the delusion of passing caused. Geraldine already passed and was welcomed by the white community and left behind her dark skinned people later pushing them away in order to keep her status in the white community.
I believe the art institute of Hollywood will help me improve my current skills and attain my idea job. My career goal is to become a multimedia and animation artist, because I enjoy using more than one style of medium. I have done research for jobs that circle around this profession, and I have come to the understanding that I first need to obtain a bachelor's degree of arts. My plan is work hard and sharpen my skills, so I can improve as I take the courses required to reach my goal.
I really appreciate your detailed and insightful grammatical comments that pertain to both specific lines within the poem as well as the submission as a whole. I am sure that they will be helpful to the author as he/she moves forward with the piece. Your general comments, in regards to the artistic style of the poem, are also very beneficial to the author, as they help him/her to work on
The poem “Bucket list” that I have written is a short representations of things I want to accomplish before I die. I didn’t want this poem to be just a typical bucket list where I would just state all of the things I want to do, so I tried to give a little context to help the readers be more engaged in what I have to say by using literary devices and literary elements. I used literally devices such as allusions, anaphora and a rhyme scheme to keep the reader interested in my poem because they help to make references to things that readers can relate to. The literary elements like the content, imagery and the tone help the reader connect and find what I’m trying to say more tangible. Thesis To begin with, the literary devices that I used to
Photography: A Critical Introduction defines the gaze as describing “a particular way of looking at, perceiving and understanding the world (347). Essentially this means that a photograph represents the viewpoint of the photographer. For a greater part of its history, the gaze has involved the objectification. As Photography: A Critical Introduction puts it, “In one sense photography inadvertently objectifies people by turning them into things to be looked at” (178). When looking at it from this point, the nature of photography is not able to separate itself from objectification because the photo always produces a subject to be stared at. This objectification has had a deep history of making women its main subject through voyeurism and fetishism along with pornography. It has even been suggested that women are so use to being objects to men’s gaze that women begin to themselves through the gaze of men (Photography: A Critical Introduction 178).
Though I definitely agree with the poem’s message, I believe that the poem should have been delivered in a more abstract, artistic way,