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General Mills Suicides

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Of all of the gun-related deaths in America, over 60% are suicides. As this problem continues to increase, we must ask ourselves why this is the case. Could it be that Americans have unprecedented access to firearms? Could it be that we are in desperate need of major mental healthcare reform (Sanger-Katz)? Perhaps, or perhaps not. For you see, there is a sinister, underlying root to the problem that has yet to be discussed in mainstream conversation. As General Mills sales increase, suicides by gunshot increase; therefore America’s suicide problem is caused by its love of cereal and other General Mills products (Tyler Vigen). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the second leading cause of death for …show more content…

The company was founded by a man who not only is not a general, but whose last name was not “Mills”, Cadwallader Washburn. Interestingly enough, the word “cad” is right in his first name. What would later be known as General Mills was founded in 1866, a year after the death of Abraham Lincoln. There is no proof that Cadwallader Washburn was the assassin, unless, of course, you would consider the fact that he attended Lincoln’s 1861 inauguration with five of his brothers, one being Lincoln’s campaign biographer (General Mills: 150 Years of Passionately Making Food That People Love). All that can be stated is that we do not know of Washburn’s alibi on the night of the assassination, and an actor, of all people, John Wilkes Booth conveniently took the blame. While the trigger happy history of the company would seem damning enough, there is actual numerical data supporting General Mills’ responsibility on firearm suicides. The year 2008 had sales of $13.548 billion, 2009 had sales of $14.556 billion, and 2010 had sales of $14.636 billion, as illustrated in Figure 2 …show more content…

For example, suicide attempts most frequently occur after suicidal thoughts. Guns do not face as heavy regulation in the United States as they do in many other Western countries. They are in plentiful supply. When the ready availability of guns is met with suicidal impulse, suicides are much more likely to be executed effectively (Sanger-Katz). While no study has confirmed that suicidal thoughts increase dramatically after consuming General Mills products, the data presented in Figure 3 suggests more than a real study ever could. Likewise, no study has been made establishing long-term effects of consuming General Mills products and the likelihood of mental illness. What this could mean is that mental illness might be directly caused by consuming General Mills products, coupled with access to firearms, leading to suicide. Whether it is a chemical imbalance in General Mills products that affect the brain, or the inferiority of their products spiraling consumers into depression, one thing is certain: General Mills has blood on its

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