Cry Of The Soul, It Has A Test For Me

Pulling up at the hospital; I had no idea what I was about to endure for the first time. I walked to the end of the hall to see someone that meant so much to me laying there lifeless. I stood at the foot of his hospital bed; for a moment it seemed as if time had frozen. I was there with one other person when two nurses walked in to tell me “we see no signs of improvement, we are going to pull the plug”. I stood there and watched my best friend breath his last breath. When they allowed me to go back into the room, I immediately checked to see if he was still breathing. I walked to his side, rested my hand on his cold shoulder and prayed to God that this wasn’t real. Later flowers were piled up in the worst way and no one knew what to say or if they should speak at all. This amazing person was buried and I blamed God for the loss of his life and the physical pain that flooded my body. I couldn’t accept what had happened and told myself that it wasn’t real. I was so angry at God for making me go through this that I had lost all faith in him. My relationship with God was so amazing before I experienced this that I couldn’t understand why he would want this for me. I continued to question everything that I had ever known that I didn’t know what to believe in

I have overcome lots of obstacles in my life. They weren't the easiest to overcome, but I did it. There is one obstacle I had to go through which made me a strong individual mentally and physically. I lived in New Jersey for my entire life. I grew up there, I had all of my family and friends in Jersey. I was sure my future was going to rely in Jersey. During 7th grade, I got the news that we were going to move to North Carolina. I was thrilled to move to another state. As each day passed, I thought how I would have to start in a new school and make new friends. Every time it struck me knowing that I would have to start a new life. I was nervous not knowing what would happen to my future. I wanted to stay in New Jersey because I was scared of

When I was 11 years old, my father died. Not knowing what to do with that reality and the emotions that came with it, I turned to my mother. My mother has always been my rock, so I was confident that she would put this entire situation into perspective. She explained to me how my dad had been sick for a while, and how god did not want to see him suffer any longer, so he called my father home. When I attended the funeral, it occurred to me that this would be the last time I would see my father. As the time of grieving progressed, I grew unmotivated, uninterested, and depressed. In middle school, I joined an after school program called Teen Hype. Teen Hypes's goal was to empower youth to be their very best self. After joining this program, my

When I was a child, every time I saw my mother crying and hurting from all the abuse induced by her husband, the person who was supposed to protect her, I ask God, why? I never received an answer. As the abuse continued and life went on, I was never able to forgive him for the suffering that he caused not only to my mother, but to me as well. I was carrying all the miseries from my childhood and taking out on the people who love and care for me. There was no closure for the pain and suffering. The only person that I saw comfort and security from was my father, a man who never allowed me to pity myself or blame myself for other's actions. He was always there for me until my eighteenth birthday when he decided that I was “old enough to be on my own;” it was his own way to attempt making me independent. Everything became blurry at that point in my life. There was nowhere to turn except the only person who had the opportunities in her eighty years to master the meaning of true forgiveness: my grandmother, Consuelo, which her name literally means to console. Living with her and listening to her life stories allowed me to comprehend

I would not consider the experiences that I have had to be called struggles more like “obstacles”. The “Obstacles” that have occurred in my life have influenced me to work hard, be thankful for the things that I have.

My parents decided to let my grandfather move into the house so we can take better care of him. Everyday I would assist my mom and help my grandfather, I even moved out of my room into the basement so he would be comfortable. Six months later, my grandfather passed away. That was an emotional experience for me, I didn’t know how to cope with all the emotions I had. I had feelings of anger and sadness, as a result I began to lash out and started to get in a lot of trouble. After a while, I was tired of always being angry and sad, I just wanted to go back to the loving, happy child I was before this occurred. Which was extremely hard because I felt like I lost my best friend. I began going to counseling, which help me cope better with the loss of my grandfather but, you can never really get over death of a loved one.

What has been one of your greatest challenges in life? For me, it has been growing up, and evolving from my adolescence years to adulthood. Which means going from high school to college, and having my first job. Going to college and having my first job was a great accomplishment that required a lot of responsibility and commitment. It was an immense step to take and face many challenges, but I was able to overcome them one by one.

Finally, after my father overcame his fears and depression he was finally happy with life but also was still sick. But every day he knew the outcome and how he had to look at life. When he found God that became his first priority. It was to pick up a bible and pray every morning. That was how he started his day and was his motivation. But shortly after getting better his body just gave up. There were times where he would lose his breath and he would also black out. This would make him lose his memory and he would not know where he would be at. At the time he ended up back in the hospital but I did not know until I called home. First person I asked for was my father because I had a good news for him but I never told him what it was because I was told he was in the hospital again. There goes me not thinking things through and thinking he was okay. He was fight for his life that early Friday morning, but did not make it through. He took his last breath on March 18, 2016 . I will always remember the last words he said to me a week before he passed. I will always have him in my heart and will think positive even when times are getting hard. He was that only person who was actually there for me when I always put myself down. He motivated me and picked me back up when I was getting pushed around. He always found a way to keep my happy about things and also look at life

In 2011, I loss my closest family member, my uncle, the most perfect father figure. The call was devastating. He had been battling cancer all of his life. One year it was gone and then back again. He was going through a war with his body, this illness. He was 47 when he passed. I never will understand why God will take the most joyous, heart felt, loving people. But I could never question God. It was simply his time. Now who would I look up too? That was my war. Watching my Uncle Ernie have to go to treatment after treatment was tiring not for only him but for me. When he was drained I felt drained, I fed from his energy. When my uncle passed I felt my world was over. I couldn 't believe it, I didn 't want to believe it. His war was over and my war had just started.

I was introduce to Jesus Christ and his teaches as a young child and my relationship with him has grown stronger as I have gotten older. As a young women, I have tried to maintain a relationship with God through daily prayer and attend church when possible. Although, I do not attend church every week I still feel as though I walk in God light. When I am facing impactful choices, I always pray and have my faith in Jesus, that he will guide me in the right direction for me. I know he does not give me more than I can handle and I try to remember that when tough times are put upon me. Over the last couple of years, I have been faced with very impact paths. In this last year, my father was diagnosed with cancer and it has been very hard on me and

Life always has its ups and downs but the way that you deal with them makes a person who they are. Some challenges I have had in my life include my weight, my stress, and my ADHD. While all these challenges are tough I have learned to beat them. The way I learned how to do this includes: talking with friends, family, and counselors.

The biggest obstacle in my life was to overcome my father leaving me and my family when I was 13. This completely changed my whole life and I lost my purpose without having a dad at a very important time. Although it was a horrible experience, it made me turn my life around, and I became motivated to be the best person, and someday, the best father I could be--and to never be like mine. It also made me want to work hard in everything I do and be successful. I want to grow up to be ten times a better man than he was and to be successful and have a nice happy family--the family I wish I had. Nothing’s wrong with my family, but after that, many problems and tough times came upon us that I hope my family never has to experience. We became even more poor and had to fight through a ton of adversity. I was blessed to get my strong will and work ethic from my mother. I can tell by how hard she tries for us to be happy and how she never gives up. I have had to work several jobs in order to pay for the things I need as well as help out with my family. I know I have to do my part to make a difference for my family without my dad having a role in our

A time that I faced a challenge was my junior year in high school. This was my hardest year academically. I felt as if three out of my five classes were impossible to pass (the other two being electives). It seemed like no matter how hard I studied or how much tutoring I received, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Going from a straight A student with an occasional B here and there to then being in the low B range killed me. I stressed myself out tremendously over grades to where it became unhealthy. I would have migraines daily. I would come home, go straight to my room and dwell on the fact that I had no idea how to start my homework let alone complete it. I would sit there, depressed, crying my eyes out because I had nowhere to

The most significant challenge I have faced was when my parents got a divorce. It was a devastating moment for me because I was very close to both of my parents and I knew that I would have to choose to live with only one. I chose my mother because she there the most for me in my life. When my father left I was devastated, but not so much because he insured me that I would still see him. For the first month he would see me everyday, but after a while, those everyday visits became into every week visits and I was okay with that. After three months I only saw him once a month for a year ,but I was thrilled to be seeing him at all. After the year my father remarried and gave me the news that he was moving to Arizona to live with his new wife and stepchildren and that he wasn’t going to see me anymore. That’s when my depression started and kept escalating from that point

As the days went by, I realized that the pain of living was worse than what death had to offer. As a kid, I suffered from depression and the temptations of suicide. I would wake up every day hating life, and go to bed feeling worse. This all started when I was around the age of ten. My brother and I would mess around, wrestle, and I would pick on him; like all brothers do. My parents and grandparents, however, saw me as a bully and treated me like I deserved punishment for what I did. After school, from three o’clock until I went to bed, I was being yelled at or punished the vast majority of the time. I could deal with the punishment and my family, but what hurt the most was the struggles I faced at school. When I was younger, I was bullied about anything and everything, and it never stopped. I did not want to tell a teacher because then the kids would make fun of me; and I could not fight back because I knew the consequences at home would be worse if I were to fight. Day by day, I had to accept the pain, the insults, and the punishment coming from everyone in my life. I felt like I had no purpose, and that I should not have been born. Why would God put me on this earth to be punished?