Thesis statements: Although the author of this article is good at providing some general information about its topic and overall seems to be linked together, but the lack of explanation and clarity makes the article confusing.
i. Author has done well on providing different information and linking the essay together.
a. The article contains different information by providing different opinions from various people, such as from student Justus Walker, his mom Karen Walker, and teacher Arlo Kempf.
b. Paragraph and paragraph are nicely linked together with words. For example, from paragraph 1, the “checklist with instructions” leads out the “some questions were hard to answer” on paragraph 2. ii. However, there are two critical problems on this
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On paragraph 4 on where Arlo Kempf comes out, the sentences that he said requires further explanation even though author quoted the sentence Arlo Kempf explained afterward.
b. On paragraph 5 Ms. Walker seems to reply on Arlo Kempf, but there are no explanation afterward.
c. On paragraph 7, it is comprised by different sentences that Ms. Walker says, but there are not further explanation after these sentences. iii. Furthermore, the second problem is that the clarity of the article is not good, and the lack of explanation takes part in this problem.
a. The lack of explanation can be best shown from the paragraph 4 and 5 on the conversation between Arlo and Ms. Walker.
b. Paragraph two, the author are showing some difficult questions from the white privilege test, but the last sentence of paragraph one is about discussion from students.
c. Here comes the fatal point. After paragraph 7, the topic word finally come out from paragraph 8, and after paragraph 8 it feels like author are just randomly talking, providing information.
Conclusion: Author arises an interesting idea and put out a fascinating topics to attack the readers’ attentions. However, the author did not focus on the group of people that read this article, and made two serious mistakes that turn the article into confusion, without them, with all these information that the author collect, the article will be very educational and can make people ponder about the original sin of white
4. It has a topic sentence that explains what the paragraph is going to be about, evidence and commentary supporting the ideas, and a concluding sentence closing up the paragraph.
In this chapter, Lunsford details the planning and drafting process for a writer to organize their ideas with either a formal outline or a rough plan. Lunsford reminds writers to be flexible during the drafting process and not to think twice about changing elements of the essay at this point in the process. Lunsford goes on to explain the qualities academic paragraphs must have these include unity, development and coherence. To obtain unity within a paragraph all sentences should relate to the topic sentence of the paragraph. When developing a paragraph it is important to switch between general and specific ideas in the paragraph, while supporting those ideas with details, evidence and examples as required. Ensuring a paragraph is coherent is crucial when developing an academic paragraph. Because readers need to be able to follow a writers ideas easily, Lunsford gives her readers a method to follow to achieve this goal. This method includes using the general to specific ideas, repetition, parallel structures, and using transition words. The author notes that this method should also be used to link paragraphs
Bernier (1993) verbalize that each paragraph should begin by detailing the most important known information firstly, prior to expanding to bring in any new information. The paragraph should then finish up by concluding all main points described within. Appendix 1 has chosen paragraphs for the layout and not bullets points.
To be clear, the intent of this essay is not to argue for or against the content; instead, we are analyzing what the article does in terms of the following:
| Identifies the most important ambiguous words and phrases in the article and succinctly explains the effect ambiguity has on the author’s reasoning.
The article would be great to many of the readers and highly recommend it to be published in the Shorthorn because first of all, this article is coherent
This purpose of this paper is to define the field of Critical Whiteness Studies, explore key CWS concepts and next steps with a focus on schools, then conclude with what this author has learned (and unlearned) from CWS, being as vigilant as possible to follow Ahmed’s caution about my own white privilege and positionality.
“‘... I am listening to each [message] in order to see if I can piece it all together.’” -pg. 82
| Demonstrates effective sense of voice, audience and purpose, one that is evident in such elements as thesis, topic selection and/approach to topic. Discussion is fully developed and convincing.
This critique will outline the following, but not limited to: a brief summary of the article itself, a detailed review and assessment of the writing, and a choosing of agreement or disagreement.
He criticized Students of a different race in University’s. In his opinion, he believes that students of a different race cannot learn the same as white students. Which is not true because many students in this world are very smart from every race. The author does not acknowledge everyone that has experience differently than he has. He criticized University’s students in addition to what they believe in. Besides the author expressing his feelings the reader feels attacked by all the negativity. He makes it seem like you are an evil person because you are different than others and that is not acceptable. We all deserve equal opportunity; not worry about our differences. In his believe he expects everyone to be the same and think alike as
Q: What is the reader’s most common misinterpretation? How is the author saying we should interpret it?
Although the subject is very long and descriptive, for the most part it’s interesting. It was also surprising that, although the subject itself is simple and doesn't require much explanation, the author expanded every idea with specific detail and also facts that support each idea which made the article a lot longer but a lot more helpful. The author certainly has the qualifi-cations necessary to write this
topic to use it as a guide to developing the body and supporting paragraph. I also need to not shift and concentrate on the topic sentences that is based on the main points.
This paragraph was half decent. I attempted to fix up some minor errors and try to furthe explain what is going on like you said on my feedback. I also tried to fix up all of the convention erros i could possibly find. Overall I think I change this paragraph from a decent one to a pretty good one.