Adoption Causes Grief By Haley Peck

This group is for addressing those issues, letting the women share their stories and experiences, find support through one another, create lasting friendships, and creating a positive difference in each woman’s life after “losing their child.” These women will hopefully take with them many positive lessons and self-reflection. The birth mothers will learn to overcome and share their own difficulties and issues of the following: healthy coping skills for dealing with the grief and loss of each birth mothers’ baby, their guilt and shame, identity issues within each birth mother, the effect adoption has on their present and future relationships, and gaining control once again on each birthmother’s lives and create a strong network of support and friendships. Each birthmother will find out more about themselves than they knew before the group, such as identifying each woman’s strengths, weaknesses, goals, and challenges that still need to be addressed. The major theme of the group will consist of resolving grief, making peace with this life decision each birth mother recently made, and find one selves identity again while incorporating another aspect of their identity as a birth parent. The population to be served in this group are women ages 15 to 35 and of the greater Kansas City area, who have gone through the adoption process and are trying to find support and treatment post placement experience are welcome to join this

Giving a child to another family to raise can be traumatic. Grief, loss, anger, are common emotions of mothers who give their children up for adoption. However, studies show that birth mothers with open adoptions fair better than those with closed adoptions. One study looked at unresolved grief among birth mothers. They found that, “… birth mothers who had contact with the adoptive family experienced less unresolved grief than did those with no contact.” (Grotevant) Consistent contact appears to be important because the same study later found that, “greatest unresolved grief was among birth mothers who had early contact that stopped.” (Grotevant) Another study found that birth mother thought they were “better people with better lives” after they used an open adoption as a solution to a surprise pregnancy.

Just like abortion the mother is able to return to her previous life rather than parent the baby when choosing adoption. There are many parents that are struggling with infertility, and adoption allows their dream of starting a family to become a reality. (adopt) There are parents wanting to adopt, while at the same time there are approximately 1.1 million unnecessary abortions happening throughout the U.S. (for life).Which just shows how common unneeded abortions are happening. Despite the belief that birth mothers are mostly teenagers, women who pursue adoption are of varying ages, races, and levels of education.(adopt) Not only is abortion killing the baby it is also can cause great emotional pain for the mother afterwards. It is called post abortion syndrome. It’s a form of post-traumatic stress and includes symptoms like the feeling of guilt, anxiety, depression, and even sometimes the thoughts of suicide. In some cases it can affect the way the woman lives the rest of her life.(action news) That’s another reason why adoption is the right choice and abortion should be illegal. Even the 14th amendment was designed to protect human beings like the

This topic merits attention in the research field so this study proposes to understand the adoptive experience of internationally adopted adults in terms of their identity development, attachment experience, and adaptation to life in an American family. A qualitative interview approach will be used while interviewing internationally adopted adults to understand the complex experience of adoption and how one adapts to this experience. This study is developed in hopes to inform prospective adoptive families and mental health practitioners of the experiences and challenges faced by international adoptees so they are

Each week women gather at Christian Chapel, a church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, to meet with mentors to discuss what they endured that week. There are several different care groups. The most attended groups are the parenting and birth mothers groups. I decided to sit in at a birth mothers group, which was uncomfortable for me. This care group is held for birth mothers who have gave their child or children up for adoption. Some of the birth mothers experience open adoption, meaning they have some form of communication with their birth children. Although some birth mothers obtain closed adoptions, where they have no communication with their birth children.

No matter the underlying motives for adoption, the process is one with self-fulfilling rewards, no matter the age of the adopted child. In an article by a mother who adopted an eight year old, she briefly explains the struggles she encountered because of her daughter’s age. She mentions that she initially did not have the intention of adopting an older child, but her son convinced her to adopt the “sad girl.”

The poem “Mothers and Daughters” is written by Pat Mora. Pat Mora is a contemporary award winning writer, who writes for children, youngsters and adults. She was born in El Paso, TX in the year 1942. She attains a title of a Hispanic writer; however, the most of her poems are in English. In her literary work, one can observe the different aspects of the immigrants’ lives such as language issues, family relationships, immigrants’ experiences and cultural differences (1187).

Although memories don’t exist for me prior to my adoption as I was only nine months old –there are recordings of this consequential event. These videos were recorded by a family friend; however, at the time of the recordings my mother and grandmother had only just met our soon-to-be lifelong friends on the plane to China. In the video, the moment when my mother meets me for the first time is when I consider my life starting. My mother was calm through the chaotic event. The video shows my mom taking me from the caretaker’s arms and holding me. The one part of the video that surprises me is that I begin to cry the moment I’m in her arms; almost as if I were a newborn being held for the first time. Depending on the person, there are many different reactions to a baby crying – some panic, while others are composed and collected. My mother was able to soothe me to sleep despite the noisy disorder around us, almost as if we were the only two people in the room. I guess that’s the effect of a mother’s gentle touch. My

Adoption is a commonly used system in the US. Children are put into the adoption system with a possibility of having a psychological difficulty. Many studies have been done, such as “Children after adoption: Exploring their psychological needs”, on the development of psychological difficulties in adopted children. The children developing these difficulties can be of any age and any gender.

Secondly, birth parent’s intense stress can continue into later years like on the child’s birthday and while they think of what type of person their son or daughter might have become under their care. For example, an adoptee might study and learn to play instruments very well with the adoptive parents, but if the child would have grown – up with his/her birth parents. They might would have been a great artist, but since this was not the case. The child may not develop those skills as the birth parents would have hoped. Through all this loss and guilt, the relationship among both parents may fall apart because of how each one feels about the adoption and their parent’s lack of support will distance them all even farther from one another. A major case is when the birth mother may have to leave her home and family due to pregnancy, which would degrade her educational and work status in the community. (Information Gateway) The birth parents have to encounter much hardship and denial to of most of an adoption plan, but more current issues, such as their shame, identity, and long- term issues effect them as well.

There are mixed feelings about the statement that adoption is not the same as having a child of your own. In many cases that statement is true, but on many other cases, that statement is incredibly wrong. For many unfortunate children, having a biological family is rather difficult. In many third world countries, many children are forced to live on the streets and many of them are clueless as to who their biological parents are. Annually, more than 40,000 children are transferred out of and into more than 100 countries. These young victims have suffered insufficient medical care, maternal separation, or some other kinds of abuse. Over 10,000 international adopted children immigrated to the United States annually. These children provide their new adopting families character traits that are unique. But along

Adoptive parents share in the joys of parenthood, which may also include challenges that impact their family dynamic. However, the reasons for adopting a child vary among couples, with a central one being infertility, but can include a desire to care for orphans. Therefore, couples might approach the subject of adoption with a bittersweet mentality, particularly if the natural ability to conceive is the issue. The choices concerning adoption for prospective or current parents are not light in nature, including, but not limited to, finances, the type of adoption, and selecting a lawyer or agency. Receiving professional counseling before finalizing a decision is also beneficial. Aside from the technical aspects, there is the raising of a child that will entail explanations of why there are noticeable differences between him and her and other family members, along with recognizing difficult transitional periods the child might encounter (Pertman, 2011, pp. 169-170). Thus, adoptive parents have distinct concerns they will encounter, with one being grieving the inability of having biological children, as well as childrearing issues.

There are also various psychological issues that one is faced with while adopting a child which may include situations in which the adoptive parents find themselves in a dilemma to permit the biological parents to remain in contact with their adopted child as they might feel threatened that their son or daughter may develop a stronger bond with his or her birth parents and decide to leave when they become adults in order to live with them instead. The adopted child may also go through a plethora of emotions over the years regarding his or her adoption. He or she may feel abandonment, isolation, guilt, rejection towards their birth parents and may go through certain self identity issues. Thus extra care and attentiveness is usually required

Adopting a child is an experience that promises to bring great joy as it changes a couple or individual’s life forever. Adoption enables the lives of many children to be transformed; it offers children, who are orphaned, abandoned, neglected, abused, or unwanted a chance to live in a stable, loving environment. The adoptive parent-child union is commonly looked at as sanctified because the adoptive parents provide a needy infant with love, a home, and nurture. Adopted children have the potential to become blessed, healthy, and productive members of loving families and being a member of a caring family can help them to become responsible and compassionate adults capable of making positive contributions to their world while raising happy and

For many especially those who were never treated differently by there adoptive parents, such feeling can be overcome easily but unfortunately for some, it takes lifetime to overcome.