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Personal Narrative: A Personal Story Of A Baby Changed My Life

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I was on bedrest with my first born from 20 through to 36 weeks. I went in for my 20 week ultrasound and left the hospital a week later. I had been told I had a 'Short Cervix', underwent an emergency surgery to have cerclage placed in my cervix to "close my cervix and assist me in carrying the baby to full term!" I spent from those 16 weeks in complete fear that I would lose my baby, then when I was diagnosed with Polyhydramnios, I was convinced that I had done something wrong! I couldn't carry her to term on my own nor while even on bed rest was I able to help her grow healthily. I went to my GP and OB almost every single week and if I wasn't with one of them, I was having Ultrasounds done. I was told at 36 weeks after the cerclage was …show more content…

I do, I fucking slept, I didn't hate myself, I didn't feel like running away! I ate what I wanted, when I wanted to, no one judged me for not eating veggies. Before I had a baby, I felt like my own person, before that people didn't look down on me for having a baby out of wed lock...what year are we in? I watched Tv, a lot of Tv and I felt bad for doing so cause I should be counting or singing the ABC's or maybe I should take little Ava outside. Nothing I did was good enough! Well you know what that TV did for me? It talked to me every day about depression, every day it told me that these were symptoms of depression and that it was ok to have depression! But was it actually ok to have depression? With everything good in my life, how on earth was it OK to be depressed? The first time that it truly sank in that I was experiencing depression, felt like that weight had been lifted, I could breathe again, I could stand up, I wasn't crawling, I wasn't ashamed. I had a beautiful baby. I told Bruce, and it looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders too, suddenly he stood much taller and less fearful, our crumbling world made …show more content…

I couldn't imagine ever not having Ava in my life but every day it was a chore to get out of bed, every day was like climbing a damn mountain and as soon as you got to the top of that mountain you were sad or mad or something because it took you so long to get there! Hearing her say.. "That's Post Partum Depression! It's ok!" brought tears to my eyes. I knew this wasn't forever, that it would get better! Eventually I would stop feeling this

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