Marriage Is Bad For Us Essay

People believe that marriage is easy and is the key to love and happiness, but in reality marriage is harder than it looks. Everyone marries for different reasons, for good or for bad. People today don’t understand the meaning of marriage; it is more than just money and appearance. Seeing today’s world of marriage is being influenced by media shows like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and Murray makes you realize how society today identifies marriage different. Couples who live unmarried will be happier and have more choices than those that are married in agreement with Catherine Newman’s essay called I Do. Not.: Why I Won’t Marry in the book “Acting Out Culture: Reading and Writing “, by: James S. Miller. Catherine Newman is a writer and an author

There comes a point in everyone’s life that this question or subject is brought up - “Are you dating anyone?” “When are you guys getting married?” When these questions are asked from family and friends, it pressures people into finding that special one. Even though, people do experience those desires and questions for themselves; does it make it right to feel that need? What is marriage? Is marriage a contract or love? What if marriage is not what people perceive it to be? What if marriage is not the happily ever after often seen in the movies? Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens are two scholars that wrote a piece entitled, What If Marriage Is Bad for Us? that contended the institution purpose of marriage is obsolete and in reality bad for society, and how marriage can lead to changed, unhealthy, and distressed.

“Marriage and Love”, a short essay by Emma Goldman, gives a wonderful argument regarding love and marriage, in fact, she nails it. Marriage does not equal love or has anything nothing to do with it. Not only that, but the marriage could also easily kill whatever relationship was there prior to the declaration. Marriage is simply a social construct, one that imposes control by religion, tradition, and social opinion (Goldman 304). However, if marriage is such the ball and chain that we all joke about, then why do people get married?

Growing up children are surrounded with a fairy tale life, the ‘happily ever after.’ As girls we are supposed to wait for our prince charming and he will love us forever; and for boys it is finding and rescuing a beautiful princess who can cook, clean, and is loved by all creatures. That is what marriage is based off of as a child, but that perspective changes once we get a small grasp of the concept of love and we really see what marriage is. Marriage is not something anyone goes into lightly and maybe our expectations of the fairy tale life are why divorce is so commonly sought.

“In addition to the research showing the detriments of living together, several studies have discovered-with 80 percent to 94 percent accuracy-the variables that predict which marriages will thrive and which will not. This means unmarried couples can know in advance if they have a better-than-average chance of succeeding in marriage.” (pg.507). With an appeal to emotion, it is not a good idea to test a marriage as a result of making the relationship more worse and have more consequences that could lead to a divorce. Overall this essay, is an appeal to ignorance and a slippery slope. It constantly argues about the same topic with an additional lack of quality evidence to believe, since it is not specific to prove that the whole main argument would be

Marriage, a lifelong commitment, can lead to misery if not taken seriously. “Somebody had to stay and care for the folks. There warn't ever anybody

In over half a century, marriage has transformed from being a social requirement to simply being an option in today’s society. What has caused this change? Many institutions in our society have changed drastically along with marriage. Although these institutions have not caused marriage to be optional, they do strongly correlate with the decreased value. The economy, education, religion, and government have all altered since the 1950s. When any institution encounters a change, all other institutions are affected. Family is a major institution in society, and I believe that marriage is an important aspect of this institution. Cohabitation, religion, women in the work world and divorce have all effected the way marriage is viewed today.

People today think that the primary purpose of marriage is to fulfill emotional needs. In the past, people married for practical reasons such as companionship or financial security. Today, Americans are likely to end a marriage when emotional needs are not being met. As an institution marriage has lost much of its legal, religious, and social meaning. (“rutgers.edu”) So how this breakdown of the American family influences individuals is a question of much concern.

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

Marriage is a union between two people. The purpose of marriage is to love and support the other person, through good times and through bad. With this being said, marriage has the opportunity to make you a better person, who is more flourished and happier. Although marriages have the opportunity to happy, lifelong relationships, they also have the opportunity to be loveless and more of a burden than a gift.

Andrew J. Cherlin’s article from 2004, The Deinstitutionalization of American Marriage, argues that marriage is becoming deinstitutionalized while cohabitation is becoming institutionalized. More couples are starting to realize that they do not need a piece of paper to signify their love or compassion for one another. If they are happy living together unmarried than they should not need to get married, which is why cohabiting is becoming more prominent. “The first transition, noted by Ernest Burgess, was from the institutional marriage to the companionate marriage. The second transition was to the individualized marriage in which the emphasis on personal choice and self-development expanded.” (Cherlin pg. 848) According to Cherlin, two transitions within marriage

Tina Turner once sang, “What’s love got to do with it?” Within the song, Turner’s answer to this question is to focus only on her feelings of attraction, thus rejecting any romantic feelings. The same question can be posed to the concept of marriage. Marriage might seem easily definable: a legal union of two people. However, the motivations behind marriage differ across cultures. In America marriage is often linked with the idea of love. However, the idea of marriage as a bond of love is specific to Western culture. Additionally, marrying for love is a fairly new idea. Historically various cultures, many European, used marriage as a political tool. In this way, marriage was about gaining

The simplest and most basic foundation of a sociological civilization or group begins at the core center of sociology; which is marriage and the inner-fabric creation of a family. It is said that matches are made in heaven, however finding and defining your “soul mate” differs from one social group to the next. The social institution of marriage changes and adapts consistently through time, religious practice, and national beliefs. Many people believe they lead happy and satisfying lives without a marital partner, as others highly value and desire a life-long marital partner as the pinnacle achievement of their life.

Entering into marriage for the wrong reason usually leads to divorce. Sometimes an individual will say that he or she married for money, or he or she may claim to have married for love. Many times, lust is mistaken for love; consequently, when the passion ends so does the marriage. Some people choose to marry wealthy people solely to gain financial security, but eventually they will find that money does not lead to happiness. Others enter into marriage believing that it is a cure-all that will make

Marriage matters. If marriage did not matter, would it even be considered when growing up? The common child at some point thinks about getting married and having children. Our society has gone through monumental shifts throughout its history. A theme that has not changed however, marriage, has survived through it all due to its importance. Our children and our health are two of the most important aspects of life. Marriage will help in both of those categories. Children have better relationships with their parents because of marriage. Watching their parents, they grow up having better relationships themselves. Increased success in school has been noted. Families are more financially stable,