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LIBERTY UNIVERSITY PACO 615 MARRIAGE AND FAMILY COUNSELING MOVIE REVIEW 1 CHRISTIAN COUPLE ALLISON GADDY

I have chosen the movie “Fireproof” for this review. Fireproof is a movie by the Kendrick brothers, produced in 2008. The main characters are Caleb and Catherine Holt. Caleb is a firefighter, and Catherine is the public relations director at a local hospital. The movie is set in Albany, Georgia. Caleb and Catherine are both successful at their respective professions. Caleb is a hero at work, and is respected by all. Catherine works hard at the hospital and is well loved by other staff. However, their marriage is crumbling. Neither understands the other, and miscommunication abounds in their relationship. As a firefighter, Caleb understands the importance of never leaving one’s partner behind, yet consistently neglects and dismisses Catherine. Catherine, meanwhile, is openly flirting with a doctor at the hospital, feeling seen and understood by him. She is also caring for her aging parents, and frustrated by Caleb’s lack of concern for her. Caleb is also addicted to pornography, is saving for a boat while Catherine struggles to care for her parents and takes care of the household necessities. When she expresses her needs, Caleb feels attacked. Frequent fights erupt, exposing the rawness of marriage difficulty underneath. Desperate for peace, they decide to divorce. There are several scenes in this movie that pertain to counseling a Christian couple. At the beginning of the movie, there is a scene in the firehouse, where the firemen are returning from a call. One fireman is upset because he was left behind by his partner. His partner is reprimanded, and Caleb says “you never leave your partner, especially in a fire.” This sets the tone for the rest of the movie, and is an important aspect of relationships. This can be used as homework to drive home the idea that neglegting and ignoring one’s partner is detrimental to a relationship. As marriages go through hard times, it is vital that couples stick together.

The fight scene . In this scene, the breakdown in communication between the couple is clearly seen. Caleb is home, and looking for food. He makes a contemptuous comment to Catherine, who responds defensively. The sparring continues back and forth, with both of them launching arrows of contempt at each other, until Caleb snaps and verbally attacks Catherine. She then tearfully states that she wants out of the marriage, and Caleb agrees. This scene dramatically showcases the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” developed by Dr. John Gottman.[ CITATION Joh152 \l 1033 ] First, contempt is seen nonverbally as the couple navigate through the kitchen. Criticism is evident in the complaints about groceries not being purchased, and about the hours each one works. While their concerns are valid, they both use harsh startups, launching attacks and counterattacks.[ CITATION Joh152 \l 1033 ] They also both respond defensively, keeping the argument going until Caleb finally explodes. This scene could be used to have a couple see an example of what the four horsemen look like in an argument. This ought to be used once a couple is more aware of their own tendencies to use these tactics, and when they are ready to start the process of replacing their negative behaviors.[ CITATION Jen14 \l 1033 ] Study your Wife . In this scene, Caleb and his friend Michael are at a barbeque. Caleb is sharing the day of the dare he is on, in which he is told to study his wife. The Love Dare journal states that when a man is pursuing his a woman while dating, he learns everything he can about her. Yet once married, he thinks the work is over and he stops learning about her. It is stated that once a man is married, he has a high school degree in his wife. He should keep studying her until he has a college degree, a masters and finally a doctorate. He should never stop learning about his wife. This can be used when encouraging a couple to learn about one another and not stop pursuing one another just because they are comfortable in the relationship. [ CITATION Eli20 \l 1033 ]

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He Said She Said . In this, we see Caleb and Catherine both discussing their point of views with their support systems. They have evry similar complaints about each other, but they receive very different advice. Caleb is surrounded by godly advice to keep pursuing his wife, while Catherine is encouraged to divorce and leave her husband. This scene is poignant in driving home the importance of having a support system that will point each person in the relationship towards Christ. Sometimes, this means healthy confrontation as well.[ CITATION Jen14 \l 1033 ] Only one person in Catherine’s circle expressed concern about her burgeoning affair with the doctor. All her other friends encouraged her to leave, told her Caleb was manipulative, and that she could do better. Meanwhile, the men in Caleb’s life all encouraged him toward godliness. There are several aspects of this movie which I do not agree with, both on a personal and professional basis. First, the movie presents a simplistic view of serious marriage issues. Pornography, adultery and abuse are serious issues that destroy marriages. Yet this movie treats them as mere inconveniences. This movie communicates that these issues can be solved in forty days, and that all one needs is faith in Christ for all marriage problems to be solved. If it were that easy, no Christians would struggle in their marriages, yet statistics show that Christian marriages are just as devastated by these behaviors as non-Christian marriages are. [ CITATION Pra19 \l 1033 ] The scene regarding divorce, where Michael glues salt and pepper shakers together and states how damaging divorce is, and that Caleb should fight to stay married, no matter what, is especially damaging. There are many destructive Christian marriages that should end in divorce. Divorce is not an evil; it is a tool to protect women who are being harmed and neglected by their husbands.[ CITATION Gra87 \l 1033 ] If one were to believe this movie, it would seem that all

marriages should be saved, and that is simply not the case. Although God can obviously intervene in the manner shown in the movie, very few abusive husbands change the way that Caleb does. Statistics prove that less than one percent of abusive men are willing to change their behavior.[ CITATION Leo07 \l 1033 ] The love dare is false hope for these marriages.

References Gezinski, L. B. (2019). Praying Does Not Stop His Fist From Hitting My Face; Religion and and Intimate Partner Violence. Journal of Family Issues . Gottman, J. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Harmony Books. Martin, G. (1987). Please Don't Hurt Me; A Sensitive Look at the Growing Problem of Abuse in Christian Homes. Wheaton: SP Publications. Moitinho, E. (2020). The Dream Home. Dubuque: Kendall Hunt Publishing. Westenberg, L. (2007). When She Calls for Help; Domestic Violence in Christian Families. School of Philosophy and Theology . Worthington, J. S. (2014). Couple Therapy. Jupin Cedric.

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