Simon and Julie are having a dinner party, and Julie is an hour late in getting home to help prepare. She runs in the door, saying “Sorry, I was held up.” In response, Simon bursts out in anger “I can’t believe how insensitive you are! You know how important this is and that I’m not good at getting things together.  What if you hadn’t made it – what would they have thought?” (a) Julie responds to Simon’s outburst with __________. For each of the following give a concrete example of what she might say.  cross-complaining negative mind reading defensiveness contempt (b) Now think about how this spiral of negativity could be averted. What might Julie say in response to Simon’s initial outburst to de-escalate this conflict?  Again, be specific.  (c) Better yet, when Julie first walked in the door, how might Simon have brought up his complaint in a less harsh, more constructive manner?  Again, be specific.

Simon and Julie are having a dinner party, and Julie is an hour late in getting home to help prepare. She runs in the door, saying “Sorry, I was held up.” In response, Simon bursts out in anger “I can’t believe how insensitive you are! You know how important this is and that I’m not good at getting things together.  What if you hadn’t made it – what would they have thought?”

(a) Julie responds to Simon’s outburst with __________. For each of the following give a concrete example of what she might say. 

• cross-complaining
• negative mind reading
• defensiveness
• contempt

(b) Now think about how this spiral of negativity could be averted. What might Julie say in response to Simon’s initial outburst to de-escalate this conflict?  Again, be specific. 

(c) Better yet, when Julie first walked in the door, how might Simon have brought up his complaint in a less harsh, more constructive manner?  Again, be specific.