The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Robert Jones Burdette (18441914)The Romance of the Carpet
B
South Hill smiled upon Burlington.
And the bright motes danced in the balmy air.
Kissed the fragrant blooms on the apple-trees.
As he stood with a carriage-whip in his hand.
And the echoing folds of the carpet smote.
And said she’d tell him when to stop.
Gave him a little breathing spell.
And she said the carpet wasn’t done.
And he pounded like mad till the clock struck six.
That she guessed he could finish it up next day.
That fuzz from the dirtless carpet flew.
And say, “Now beat on the other side.”
And the landlord came for his regular rent.
And his face was shadowed with clouds of gloom.
He kicked at the carpet and slid away—
Speeding away with footsteps fleet.
Smiled on him beating his carpet-drum.
“Where’s the carpet-martyr gone?”
And the carpet swayed in the autumn blast.
Had it ever been taken down from the line.
Cautiously clim, clome, clem, clum, clamb.
And he gathered it up with a sad, grim smile.
As he gazed at the carpet, tattered and torn.
Till the startled air gave his echoes back.
And a palsied hand the pale face screened.
“A little more on the other side.”
And he shivered, and said, “Well, I am blowed!”
And he never was seen not more, not more.