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Home  »  Poetica Erotica  »  Surrender

T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.

Surrender

By Olga Mishkin
 
(1921)

THE NIGHT shades are lowering;
The sun in the heavens, like a king in all his glory
Adorned in dazzling raiment which reflects its colors in the mirrored skies,
Slowly and majestically bows himself away from off the earth,
Leaving the world to encroaching darkness;        5
To the mysteries of night.
 
And I?—I am afraid;
My heart trembles and sinks with fear and expectation of what awaits me;
In my brain there is confusion
And my thoughts run wildly, beating against my throbbing temples—        10
Shrieking their mockery and derision as I gaze after the last rays of light,
Seeking protection and solace in the dying day.
 
How I long to weep—Yet am I not happy?
How I could dance and laugh and scream with mad joy:
But a mournful sadness steals over my heart and I shiver with cold;        15
Something—something is ebbing away from within me.
 
The minutes are fleeing fast,
And soon—I shall lie in the warm embrace of my Love.
He will draw me close to him—and a little closer,
And his strong arms will soothe my quivering body:        20
And his tender kisses will cool the fever of my burning lips,
And through his gentleness and compassion, he will leave my soul untouched, unscarred
And my love for him will grow a thousand fold,
And with happiness I will lay my virginity at his feet,
And with joy—        25
But oh, my God, how I fear!…
 
The sun shines brightly—
It is a new day—
It is all over….
 
My heart is cold—and I am sad,        30
And how I loathe the bright sun and the merry birds and the beautiful flowers.
It is all over….