In her book Women, Men, and Politeness (2013), Holmes analyzes the differences in politeness between men and women when it comes to each gender’s use of language. According to Holmes (2013), apologies are perceived as negative politeness devices used in order to restore social relations after an act of wrongdoing. This applies to the genderlect theory because of the difference in styles of men and women’s language. The theory suggests that women presume a relational approach in which they seek to interact with others while men use more of an instrumental approach to get things done. In an effort to talk to get things done, men tend to use more formal politeness strategies as illustrated in the following example in Women, Men, and Politeness: (11) Ken has taken a colleague out for lunch. I must apologise for the lousy service here. They’re not usually this bad. But the food’s pretty good you see. (p. 162) Women, by contrast, use strategies that focus more on re-establishing social harmony. (14) Elizabeth interrupted her friend. Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you. (p. 163) …show more content…
In order to apply Holmes’ analyses to the Pantene ad, the different acts of women apologizing in the video can be examined. Women desire a sense of community and thus want to maintain relationships. In the last scenario, a man and woman are talking and the woman interrupts him in the middle of a sentence so she instantly apologizes. Similar to Holmes’ example, the ad depicts this situation to show how instantaneously women recognize and fix their offence for something that occurs in everyday situations. This correlates with the idea that women interact with others in order to avoid conflict as much as possible. Therefore, Tannen’s genderlect theory is supported in the Pantene
Deborah Tannen is an American academic and professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. Her research mainly focuses on the expression of interpersonal relationships in conversational interactions, including how these interactions are affected by gender and cultural differences. In her essay Tannen uses gender to reveal the differences between male and female conversational styles in classroom discussions. She formulates the theory that males naturally prefer and dominate contributions to these debate-like discussions while females incline to contribute to less hostile conversations. Tannen presents her argument effectively using simple vocabulary and appropriate literary devices however, as the essay progresses she
Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others
In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.
In the essay, “But What Do You Mean?” author and linguistic expert Deborah Tannen argues her feelings on how men and women vary in their use of conversational “rituals.” She states that males have a tendency to use wording to sustain dominance in conversation; however, women seem to take in to account the feelings of others. Tannen identifies seven categories in which men and women differ in communication. First, women use apologies to assure other people. Men can misapprehend these apologies as taking blame rather than as the ritual reassurance that women mean for it to be perceived. This supports what Tannen says in her essay, “But there are times when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t self-deprecating or even an apology” (Tannen 380). Second, men are more straight-forward when criticizing more than women; women “soften” their criticism with the purpose of sparing the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” ritualistically, most of the time to equate the two in the conversation. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Because of this difference, women are under the impression that they are usually condemned in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise open-heartedly when they are praised. Men, on the other hand, often confuse that not criticizing is praise enough. Sixth, women converse their complications in order to share their experiences; they complain not to solve their
When we think of men in society, we think of someone strong and dominant. We think of the gender that is in charge. But what do we think of when we think of women? Do we see them the same way? Usually that’s not the case. When we think of women in society, we think of someone who does what they’re told without question. Maybe we think of the celebrities that advertise our favorite products. But, nobody every really looks deeper into the way women are viewed in society. However, Jean Kilbourne does. In her article entitled “Two Ways A Woman Can Get Hurt: Advertising and Violence” she dives into how women are really viewed and what seems to be the “cultural norm”. In society, women are viewed as objects or as property. So in turn, men think
In "Sex, Lies and Conversation" Deborah Tannen, linguistics professor at Georgetown University, explains the discrepancies between female and male mechanics of conversation: females tend to converse while facing one another and respond with supportive remarks; males tend to converse while looking away from one another and respond with dismissive remarks. According to Tannen, such discrepancies arose from childhood development and socialization. Because females developed bonds through conversation from a young age, they often express their feelings and thoughts with others. Males, however, developed bonds less dependent of socialization, but rather through the participation of various activities as children. Therefore, females developed the
This conversation shows how men and women communicate, but it doesn’t explain everything? Tannen provides us with her theory of genderlect styles to apply this information not only to our professional lives but also our everyday lives.
The article, “But What Do You Mean?”, explains in general how men and women act differently and how it has effects on each individual. The quote, “When both parties share blame, it’s a mutual face-saving device. But if one person, usually the woman, utters frequent apologies and the other doesn’t, she ends up looking as if she’s taking the blame for mishaps that aren’t her fault. When she’s only partially to blame, she looks entirely in the wrong. ” explains the one of the behaviours of women. Women usually apologises as a way of showing the friendliness between them but it 's seemed as a weakness among men. Women also take half the blame to show the mutual situation but the opposite gender tends to see it in a different. “When I 'm with men, wit it cleverness seems inappropriate (or) lost! so I don 't bother.” also verifies that the behaviours between women and men are different as well as the humours. Men use insults as a way to appreciate the other person while women take it as an aggressive way of presenting the idea. Because the way men and women act is different or the way they feel is different, it can get difficult to communicate between men and women. What we should do is to be
Due to the different ways of expressing politeness and conversational involvement, they may have trouble communicating even if they share the same language. The ‘two cultures' approach proposes that talk between women and men is fraught with potential misunderstanding for much the same reasons that communication across the ethnic groups is (Mary Crawford, Talking Difference On Gender and Language, 1995). Hence, I agree with the point of view of Deborah Tannen. However, "You just don't understand: Women and men in conversation" does not inform readers about the reasons and the consequences of the communication differences between genders. Therefore, this essay will include the above
Male and female differ in their use of communication because their reasons for communicating are different. Men
In order to be able to solve some of the problems associated with gender miscommunications, we should distinguish first between the two different types of communications: verbal communication and nonverbal communication. Verbal communication consists of messages expressed by linguistic means such as the use of intonation, the specific words we choose to say, and the way we are saying them. There are differences in females and males usage of language/verbal communication. As we might expect from traditional sex-role stereotypes, girls tend to establish more egalitarian same-sex groups. Girls use friendly groups as a training ground for cooperation. Boys view friendly conversation among their friends as training for verbal aggression. Females are more verbal, use three times more amount of words than males, they are much more descriptive and use more adjectives. Women are less direct in their communication style. As Prof. Tannen showed in one of her research, women are more indirect in answering questions depends on the situation. They answer questions the way they would like to be answered by men, which means more than just a yes/no answer. However, men answer the way they would like to be answered
Gender Matters is a collection of various essays on feminist linguistic texts analysis, by Sara Mills. Mills develops methods of analyzing literary and non-literary texts, in addition to conversational analysis based on a feminist approach. The author draws on data from her collection of essays gathered over the last two decades on feminism during the 1990s. The essays focus on gender issues, the representation of gender in reading, writing, and in public speaking. Furthermore, it highlights the importance of feminists’ analysis of sexism in literature and the relation between gender and politeness. The article is informative for my research paper, as my
In response to what we have discussed thus far in Interpersonal Communication, I would like to further explore the idea of gender in the interpersonal communication arena. As was said in class, ”gender influences cultural perspectives.” Gender also influences how we view ourselves in society. On the flip side, I’ve seen how society can mold the way we label ourselves in terms of gender.
There exists a disparity in the communication phenomenon between men and women. This disparity according to scholars can be attributed to the male dominance in the society today and relationship tensions between couples. A study on cross-sex conversations showed that, when men and women engage in a friendly conversation, they do so as equals but they do not play the same roles in the communication. Women tend to ask more questions and likely to utter utterances that encourage responses from the other speaker. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to interrupt their partner’s conversations and make direct opinions and facts to control or dominate the conversation. Thus, the communication phenomenon between men and women is strikingly distinct.
In November 2013, Pantene Philippines launched a very conversational commercial. In the commercial, there is a women and a man in the exact same scenario responding the same way; however, words float around describing how society perceives the roles of gender. The director of the commercial shed light on the gender bias that exists in Philippines. According to the 2013 Global Gender Gap Report, Philippines was ranked in number five in gender equality (Cann 1). There are about 77% of males and 66% of females that believe men deserve employment more than women (Grason 1). Cann and Grason contradict each other. As number five, Philippines’ population should not have an eleven percent difference on who should work. The makers of the commercial use different elements to inspire the hard-hitting reality that every woman faces and persuades them to take a stand against the labels society has placed on them.