Why Did Audra Leave Me?

Unseeing eyes stared into the distance. That undid Audra. This was the final spear through Audra’s heart, losing Themis. It did not matter that Themis was an animal; she had been a constant partner and companion, and her death sent Audra spiraling. Audra lay down in the hay beside her deceased dapple gray mare and beat the ground with her fists like she was a child throwing a tantrum. “No. No!” Audra bellowed, then shifted closer to Themis and began to stroke her head. “Why did you leave me? Why?” Themis did not move. None of the dead would move, for they all frolicked in the next world, happy and full of peace while Audra remained behind and suffered with her grief. Jerking herself upright, she tore at her bun until she held handfuls of red …show more content…

“Where have you gone? Why do you leave me here? Why do you punish me?” The grief she’d shoved down for years – all starting with Maxen’s banishment – bubbled to the surface and spilled over. This was worse than La Tristesse, because it came on without warning and was laced with rage. She hated everyone for leaving her and was furious with the gods for making it so. She dropped into a pit of loneliness and despair so deep, so filled with the black water of despondency, Audra feared she had gone mad for good. Though Vaughan held her and told the groom to get help, Audra kept screaming, nonsense mostly, not caring that she terrified all onlookers. Apple settled herself into Audra’s lap, whining and nuzzling, perhaps more aware of Audra’s misery than any living person. Amidst her tears and shouts, Rory and Dillan came in, fear in their young eyes, but they listened to Vaughan and carried Audra back to the castle. Moaning, she went limp, closed her eyes, and did not resist. All she wanted was to be carried to a peaceful place where she hurt no more. …show more content…

Dillan and Rory stepped aside as both Una and Faye rushed Audra. It felt like the old days when they were young and more carefree, when they’d spent long hours reading, riding, and frolicking around the castle gardens. Audra found herself missing Travana, for she had been a beloved part of the group of four friends, but Audra still relished this moment of reunification. “Una, you and Jac came at the perfect time,” said Audra, clinging to her and Faye. “How long are you staying?” Una tried to speak, but her voice cracked with emotion and she simply sobbed against Audra’s chest. “Forever, if you’ll have us,” said Jac. “We’ve been making plans to return since King Carlton died. We want to stay. Ten years in Flanders was long enough. And Una missed you each and every day.” Sniffling, Una nodded and gazed up at Audra. “I have missed you and Faye so much for so long. May we stay?” Una’s French accent was stronger than ever, and Audra had to stifle her laugh when she thought about how much it had annoyed her long ago when she and Una had first met and Audra bristled with jealousy over the little beauty’s