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The Hook Up Culture Analysis

Decent Essays

On most college campuses and in the lives of most young adults of the college aged group, it is typical to find “hook up” culture running rampant. Instead of typical dating routines, young people are turning to casual sex or other casual flings after college parties or in bars. Though it does not affect only college students, this practice is becoming more and more widely accepted in American culture, and in fact is becoming an alternative to normal dating relationships. Kari-Shane Davis Zimmerman, in her article “In Control? The Hookup Culture and the Practice of Relationships”, presents however that this practice cultivates characteristics that are discordant with long term relationships. Taking part in the practice of “hooking up” compromises …show more content…

When people move from partner to partner, often with no intention of seeing the person again, they have to refrain from the natural inclinations to form a bond of trust with them. As Zimmerman states, “Rather than learning to approach the other with openness, the practice of hooking up encourages one to draw near to the other with distrust, doubt, and fear…hooking up in its most basic form, is simply about the ability to become unhooked from one’s partner” (Zimmerman 56). Although the natural human response to intimacy follows sexual behaviors, those who engage in “hooking up” must guard themselves, suppressing that desire, in order to continue this behavior without hanging on to past partners. This is not healthy behavior if one intends to enter into marriage in the long-run, as the practice of self-disclosure and trust is integral to a long term relationship. Again, Zimmerman writes, “the practice of hooking up fosters the skill of shutting down one’s mind and heart and allowing only one’s body to function as something to be consumed without any development of emotional or psychological intimacy” (Zimmerman 56). This is also unhealthy behavior for a future relationship. Constant practices of disrespect, objectification, and a lack of self-disclosure are sure to become habitual, and prevent …show more content…

Instead of the casual hook up nature, stimulated by alcohol and flirtatious body language, traditional dating requires a certain set of skills, which “hooking up” fails to cultivate. Zimmerman writes of this as well in her article. She says, “When two people fall in love, they open themselves up to new possibilities for self-understanding, or what King and Freitas call ‘new ways of being in the world’…persons begin to receive vital lessons in intimacy because dating helps focus a person’s love and interest in a way that is often deeper than friendship” (Zimmerman 55). A relationship, unlike the casual nature of a “hook up”, requires two people to invest time and energy into getting to know one another. It requires the development of communication skills and self-sacrifice, perhaps for the first time thinking of someone else before yourself. And most importantly, unlike in a “hook up” situation, you desire to see this person more than once, or maybe a handful of times. This person is being used in the Augustinian sense – not as an object, but as recognized for their human dignity. Zimmerman describes that there is continuity to a person’s character that is formed by their behavior (Zimmerman 57). Many recognize that there is a disconnect in the skills necessary to have a successful long-term relationship, but according to Zimmerman’s research,

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