Short Story: Closed Adoption

If you are currently entertaining the thought of adopting a child, you also need to think about what type of adoption that you would like to have. The type of adoption you choose will determine if and what type of relationship you have with your child’s birth parents. The three main types of adoptions are closed adoptions, semi-open adoptions and open adoptions.

When a couple cannot conceive children naturally, they may look to adoption to start a family. In the past, adoption was shrouded in mystery. Closed adoptions were the norm, and many children grew up not knowing they were adopted. Recently though, open adoptions have gained popularity. Adoptive families and birth families maintain contact in any way that they feel comfortable. I feel open adoption is a better choice than closed adoption because children may have the opportunity to meet their birth parents, the transition is easier for the birth family, and the benefits outweigh possible complications.

Open Adoption or closed adoption; what would you choose for the child's benefit? Open Adoptions has many benefits; "95% of adoptions have been open adoptions in the United States" stated by Kinship Center (Open Adoption Study). When the birth parent decides to have an open adoption the child learns to deal with their emotions better, it's easier for the child to understand the situation rather than with a closed adoption. In an open adoption the birth parents can be involved in the child's life. This will help them maintain a good psychological health and the adoptive parent may know the child's health history.

Closed adoptions allow birth parents privacy and to remain unidentified. Closed adoptions can also help birth parents with the grieving process because closed adoptions provide a sense of closure and the ability to move on with their lives. They get a new beginning (“Open”). In an open adoption, the birth parents are involved in the child’s life, which can act as a constant reminder that the child is no longer legally theirs, which can cause more grieving and sadness for the birth parents (Byrd).

A closed adoption and an open adoption are very different. Children in a closed adoption do not have any legal contact with their biological parents. As for an open adoption, children are allowed to know and or visit their biological parents. Children in closed adoptions should have a right to know they were adopted and know their family because these children should have a say in how they want to be raised as well. As for children in an open adoption, they can grow up and still have a close connection with their birth parents and relatives. Some children in a closed adoption know that they were adopted, but they have many questions floating around in their heads on why their biological parents do not want them or even why they gave them up for adoption. With certain open adoptions, children know their biological parents and know the reason why they were adopted. I do not support closed adoption. The reason why is because the parents that go through closed adoptions do not think of what their child wants. Most of these children grow up not knowing why they were given up. These children do not have a say in this situation, and it is not fair to them.

About twenty years ago my Uncle Hosea had a son named Javion. He was the first boy out of all the girls my uncle had conceived, which made him very proud. However, due to some underlying circumstances, he was taken away from his mom and put into the system. He was somehow adopted and never seen again, nor has any information been given out to our family to help locate him. He had entered closed adoption, which is an irreversible system where parents give up their rights to know any information and right to ever take part in their children 's lives. The child is given a new home and grows up thinking the family raising them is their biological relatives. They never know anything about their true family or where they come from. They are mislead by this system of closed adoption, restricted from truth their own beginning, and lose touch with the family who brought them into this world. Children suffer tremendously from closed adoption, and because closed adoption has tougher policies, takes away many of children’s rights, puts a strain on biological families, distributes limited background family information, and strips identity, it should be abolished.

I’m BACK! I was in school studying phlebotomy for the last month and a half so now I’m studying for the state test and hoping to keep up with my blog again! Sorry about that, I hope you missed me like I missed you.

There is also a choice that parents can take for adoption which is open adoption. There are three types of contact in open adoption: direct contact, where there is face-to-face or telephone contact between the birth family and adoptive family; indirect contact, which refers to the exchange of materials such as letters, cards and gifts between the adoptive family and birth family; and links, which involve information being provided by the adoptive or birth families to the adoption agency to be passed on, if asked for by a relevant person. Critics often argue that adoptees should not know who their biological parents are because it is an invasion of a parent’s privacy. However, adoptees should have the right to know who their biological parents are because in a lot of cases it is more of a health issue than anything else, it can help many people find who they are along with their identity, and a lot of the times knowing their biological parents can answer many questions that may come

Plenty of information about adoption is misunderstood or not known at all. Numerous individuals do not know the difference between a closed adoption and an open adoption and the pros/cons that accompany these different types of adoption. “Confidential (closed) adoption is where the birthparents often do not know the identity of the adoptive parents and could not maintain any contact with the child or adoptive family after placement.” (9-NP) The problems in a closed adoption are more than just a lack of information. (5-31) One situation that most people take for granted is knowing his or her family history. This is something that adopted children in closed adoption don’t get. (5-30)Nearly all the time, files are physically sealed in a closed adoption. (3-NP) Up until the late 1980’s closed adoptions were considered a regular occurrence. (3-NP) Harold Grotevent, a University of Minnesota professor, has been working with 35 adoption agencies for the last 2 decades and has said there’s been a clean-cut swing from closed to open adoption. (6-NP) “Open adoption refers to the sharing of information and/or contact between the adoptive and biological parents of an adopted child, before and/or after the placement of the child.” (9-NP) Open adoption has become a considerable alterative to abortion or single

But after my mother quit her job and sold our house, she found out that Regina was still using the pills, and it was worse than ever. This negatively affected my family not only emotionally, but also financially. My mother was without her job, and we did not have a home to call ours. We then moved in with my mother’s boyfriend and times were hard on us with little money for the necessities, like food. Feeling that it was best to avoid contact with Regina, my mother didn’t speak to her for a year. Finally, my mother was looking her up and found out that Regina had committed suicide after losing everything from her addiction to prescription pills. Later, we found out that she lost her job from not showing up most of the time, and her husband was filing for divorce. The last straw that pushed her over the edge and made her take her own life was that her husband was filing for custody of their two year old child.

Some assert that an adoption is not open unless there is direct person-to-person contact among the birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child who was adopted, with full disclosure of last names and addresses (Melina and Rosiza, 1993).” (Siegel) For many, open adoption is a very loose term. This is because almost any amount of direct contact makes an adoption open. This can be by phone, mail (email or paper), or face-to-face contact. “The open communication, sometimes begins before placement and can continue through the adoptees lifetime.” (adoption.com) Open adoption is a term that is supposed to apply to many different arrangements that people may set up. All of these arrangements still involve the birth parents in one way or another in the child's life. The ideas that surround open adoptions are generally good or have good intentions. This is because the openness does not just extend to the birth mother. Some open adoption arrangements give other members of the birth mother's family opportunities too. So, for example, if the birth mother were to not want contact with the child this would allow other members of the family such as grandparents. The get the opportunity to meet the child. “The nurturing culture of a healthy open adoption system brings out the honor in people.” (Gritter) When big events happen that people cannot always understand people rects the best that they can. People have to make vital decisions that drastically affect others lives. At that moment people will inevitably show who they really are. For birth parents this is especially

The boy’s mother was raised in poverty. Her mother taught her how to use the governmental system and the streets to survive. My wife and I had never been subject to welfare or any government assistance programs before so many things was new to use when we tried to help his mother get back on her feet. I was very shocked to learn that his mother, whom was twenty-three years old has never done such things as craving pumpkins, coloring Easter eggs and even putting up a Christmas tree. She was raised in such a different social group then my family. I felt very sorry for her because of her past and wanted to help get her out of the situation she had been raised in. Then a few months had passed and things was not getting any better she had stopped coming and seeing her son and I noticed drug addicts coming and in and out of her house. At that moment, I knew she had fallen a victim to her surroundings. The child’s mother had suffered through a very difficult childhood, and at the age of thirteen her own mother had prostituted her out to

Throughout life I have experienced numerous events that have shaped me into becoming the person I am to this day. Out of all these events, my adoption has been the most significant and life changing event of my life. Two weeks before my first birthday in, I was adopted from Nanchang, China. As I grew up, my parents never once tried to conceal my adoption. Without them, I believe I would have grown to be a totally different person. Although I was adopted and brought in by my adoptive parents, I see myself in the everyday. I see them as nothing less than my real parents and I aspire to be as generous and compassionate as they are. Without them, I would have never been able to experience half of the life changing events I have gone through. As

Adopting a child is an experience that promises to bring great joy as it changes a couple or individual’s life forever. But what happens if the mother of that child wants to endorse their child? Those are the issues that many adopting parents and birth-right mothers are facing today. Many biological mothers want their child back. There are many concerns for adopting parents to know- that there is the possibly that the birth mother may file for the child. As a birth mother or the adopting parent one must realize consequences that could lay ahead.

My approach and interaction with the family was through an existing relationship with their daughter Amanda. Amanda Barnes is a 15 year old that was introduced to the family at age two. After living with the Barnes’s for more than 2 years as their foster child and not having any contact with her biological parents, Amanda adopted by the family. Amanda has been diagnosed with a series of behavioral problems that stemmed from her biological mother’s substance abuse use. During one of our many conversations, she has repeatedly talked about feeling depressed and disliking herself. She has also expressed concerns that her parents do not believe that these feelings are real or important.