Separation In Dubin's 'The Storm'

“’Yes, but how often the happiness of marriages founded on reason crumbles to dust because the very passion that was disregarded makes itself felt later.’ said Vronsky. ‘But by “marriages founded on reason”, we mean marriages between those who have both passed through that madness. It’s like scarlet fever: one has to get it over.’” (125)

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

Each act of adultery can cause a different psychological effect on a human; portraying the causes of either an emotional or practical affair. The most common one is an emotional affair, because of the psychological impacts it brings towards our mental health. The

opinion was that love came after the wedding. An example of such a marriage was the

For this reason men sought relationships including sexual ones outside the house, even if their marriage was well.

• Lack of confidence and low self-esteem : feeling of hopelessness, “not being good enough” and “not worthy”

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

A marriage should not ride on doubts and fears, but on loyalty and honesty. With this in mind, it can be asserted that marriage is complex, requiring only the strongest bond between two people to happily

Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Although it is not as easily defined as some may make it. Every situation and the lessons we learn from those times, help to form what we believe love to be. For some it may be a physical attachment that others degrade to lust. For some it may be their reason for continuing on in life; but overall for most, love is what drives our lives. From childhood to adulthood we seek to find relationships that will fulfill our hearts and make our short time on Earth a little more enjoyable. However as well as any other activity we partake in, ways in which we perceive love and marriage have changed over time. Although there is slight variations, when most imagine the life of a married couple pure happiness is what is expected. As wonderful as that expectation may be, not every marriage fits into this ideal. The criteria of marriage used to be based off of what your partner can offer you. However as times have changed and gender roles have begun to disappear, marriage has now

Infidelity can happen at the blink of an eye, especially if a person is not aware of their current relationship standings with their partner. A partner may display two types of infidelity, emotional and sexual. Each type of infidelity is seen differently by men and women on an opposite scale according to (Buss, Larsen, and Westen, 1996; Buss et al., 1992; Buunk et al., 1996; Trivers, 1972). The causes for infidelity are somewhat the same for men and women; however, there are a few differences that vary between the two groups. When infidelity has happened the decision is ultimately whether a couple will either focus to stay together or dissolve the relationship. Through a deeper look

The complex dynamics of marriage involve a man and a woman that have fallen in love with each other. In general, those that marry, do so between the ages of twenty and thirty years old. In comparison to the man or woman's relationships with their family members, a newly wedded couple's relationship is young. While they have both spent the first twenty years of their lives developing relationships with their brothers, sisters and parents, they might have only spent about three or four years developing a relationship with each other. This juxtaposition of relationship ages provides a strongly correlated example of the marital relationship that they will have with each other. Much research and consideration has been given to marriage and how the marriage dynamic continues to change. This brings about different types of hardships and conflicts. Ongoing research on this topic must be done to stay current with today’s society.

There are many ways in which infidelity can be explained depending on what you are reading or with whom you are speaking. Emotional and sexual infidelity is the two most studied forms of infidelity. The cognitive approach to infidelity explains that as our cognition is developing, we are also indirectly learning behaviors that could contribute to infidelity as adults. Infidelity no matter what the circumstances are surrounding it can leave both partners devastated. The circumstances surrounding infidelity can include a broad range excuses. The evolutionary approach to infidelity explains that men are more distressed by their partners committing sexual infidelity, whereas

Suppressing thoughts and emotions creates a subconscious tension in the mind, and it is possible that this tension causes a new argument in the future. However, as the research by Carnstensen, Gottman, and Levenson (1995) states, older couples have learned to let the other person retain their beliefs and opinions. This behavior allows them to achieve a happy marriage, unlike those couples which respond aggressively to differences in their personal opinions. However, this research does not state why people introduce possessive and dominant behavior in their relationships. This behavior can only lead to arguments and negative emotions in a marriage.

What does marriage mean? By definition, marriage is “the legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife” (Webster’s Dictionary). Most people claim that they want their marriage to last a lifetime. Because over half of all marriages in the United States end in a divorce, most people lack the understanding of what it takes to stay married. I believe that couples should become more aware of the commitment that they are making when they enter into marriage.

One of the main things people do when they feel great chemistry between one another is get married. Some couples are unable to maintain their relationship and they get a divorce; which is one of the solutions to solve the problems between husband and wife. Most people think carefully before they get married however the divorce rates are continuously increasing.