Reflection Paper

On September 6, 2017, I were documented for an incident that involved a University Housing policy violation. I was charged with violating the University Housing Alcohol 1.2 policy. With my violation, came consequences. I met with The Residence Conduct Coordinator to discuss my actions and came to the conclusion that I would have to schedule a meeting with The Campus Alcohol and Drug Education Center (CADEC) and with that, a reflection paper.

Over the course of the semester, there has been numerous amount of areas where I believe I have improved in comparison to high school. What has helped me in my writing is the writing class and the in-class writing workshop. The writing class that is located in the Kremen education building has helped me with my writing greatly because in the writing center the person in charge teach us lenses and we apply those lenses to the writing, draft, or reading that someone brings in. The in-class writing workshop has helped me because other students get to read my writing. This is helpful because I get feedback from many students and they let me know what needs to be fixed. A new tool I have been using is They Say I Say. The book is very helpful because of the information and examples it provides such as the templates. I have been applying the templates into my essays and I have seen a significant difference.

The Jesus and Christian Community class at Fresno Pacific University is a course where a student can further develop their relationship and understanding of the Bible while discovering a relationship with Christ. All incoming freshmen are required to take this course as a part of their general education requirements which focuses on the book of Matthew, his interpretation, and the historical background of the Bible. One of our assignments is to help incoming pupils understand a certain verse and its purpose. The section we will be focusing on is the in Matthew chapter 17 verses 14 through 21 in addition to the Sadducees and other related topics. Jesus has followers which are the general public and disciples who are the people who claim to be devoted to God called the Pharisees and Sadducees. The faction of the disciples called the Sadducees are a group that are not characteristically what one would depict as humble servant of Christ. They followed their own set of rules and had standards that were different from the Pharisees, the followers of Christ, and Jesus himself. As we continue this discussion, we will see the importance of the verse in Matthew along with the roles the Sadducees and the things that influenced their cultural views.

Since the beginning of the semester, my writing has changed and evolved to accommodate and sustain longer essays. With longer essays, there is more room for in-depth analysis. Further analyzing a topic has led me to findings that I did not know existed. As I continue to write, I uncover addition and superior methods to approach my writing to the benefit of me and therefore, my audience. Throughout the semester, I have incorporated techniques to further my narrative throughout my writing.

“If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer you're a waiter.” - Dan Poynter. I have felt like writing was not my greatest strength. I feel like I didn't have anything important to say. Looking back to my journal or diary call it whatever I would always write about how my life, the drama middle school me was in, my love life and the fights that would happen between me and my family. I wanted to reflect back on to my work and find out what my strength and my weakness. There have been times where I have been asked to read somebody else's writing. I would think it was so great that I felt discouraged that my work of writing wouldn’t be as great as theirs. My form of writing I feel is more characterized negatively because I don't share my success and triumph often as I would like to.I talk about my failures more. I feel like I do this because I don't want to share about my failures with another human. I know that I would like to write them down so then I can reflect back onto my failures and know how I could better myself and have a better chance of succeeding. I would disagree that my past life as a writer has given me a voice in the world mainly because of the topics I would write about. They weren’t important to others, they were only important to me. Writing in the past was more what was happening day to day and my relationship life, if anything exciting or upsetting happened, my honest opinions of people. Also the secret that I didn't want my mom to find out.

She compared her life to a hurricane, a natural disaster that took everything in its path and destroy any shred of light in her life. Thus, the weeks turned into years of regressive behavior that led her to believe that she was not good enough to truly be herself. She only allowed herself to be her mother’s puppet, an item only used for public occasions, for if she ever became her own self, she would be outcasted. Yet, during those times I recall a shout in the cave of darkness, a murmured voice saying: Carpe Diem. Seize the day. My brother used those words when I was little —he was an extroverted fellow who vocalized whatever he felt because he was confident in whom he was. Nevertheless, I was an introverted, insecure, and self-conscious kid who was silenced by the public because they scared me. Fear ruled my actions. Fear ruled my mind. Fear ruled me; yet, my brother’s words rang a certain alarm in my head when I grew up. Thus, I realized that my individuality was stolen. My silence was bought, and my uniqueness was used as a weapon for society’s cruel expectations. I noticed that the world has so many beliefs, ideas, and aspirations that I wanted my own drum to beat in my own rhythm.

Since arriving on campus, I have been asked how I came to Miami several times. Some would say that coming here is destiny, but I disagree. Psalm 139 says that before I was born, “in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them” (NKJV, Psalms 139:16). While there are several main components about which I will write, I keep coming back to the fact that God placed me here.

My mother does genology for my family so I know that I am mostly a mix of African, Native American and not enough European to really think about. I look like a normal African-American girl and most people I come in contact with assume the same thing. To define myself without race I would say I am invested in the betterment of other peoples lives and performing in front of an audience. As a black woman I am affected mostly in my major, theatre, because being black is a factor in whether or not I am cast in certain roles. Personally it has been a rollercoaster going to predominately white-schools and still finding a way to love and appreiciate my blackness. I’m reminded of my race daily when I have to mix my foundations to find a shade that isn’t offered or when my theatre professors suggest I do a monologue from “A Raisin in the Sun’ and as of recently when I look at the news I am affected by the fact that the injustice in the world based on race could happen to me or a loved one in a heartbeat.

I grew up in Greenville, South Carolina. Having had grown up in the south, I was always around people who are more traditional in viewpoints, especially when surrounding the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual/Transgender, Questioning, and more community. I received my education at a high school where no one hesitated to throw around extremely derogatory terms. Throughout my schooling I had found close friends who had expressed their feelings of not fitting into their biological sex. Every time I heard them talk about their feelings I felt my heart sinking. I knew it was not fair. I found myself constantly feeling their pain. Feeling all their fear, anger, and sadness along with them because I knew that they lived in fear of people finding out who they really were and what their reactions might be. It broke my heart that they were forced into constantly fearing for their safety.

I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior when I was 20 years old. At that time I was struggling with my family, problems in school and toxic relationship with my boyfriend. Despite believing in God I still did not have the knowledge of his word and the spiritual skills to find the wisdom and spiritual resources. In the midst of all those difficult circumstances a miracle happened: the Savior chose me, one of my aunts invited me to a Bible study group where I was captivated by the love, forgiveness and guidance that the word of God and His Holy Spirit was giving me in that moment the peace which surpasses all understanding, so from that day I made the decision and went to my aunt's church, to a retreat and then baptized accepting Jesus as my savior.

In school, I used to loathe the icebreakers that involved saying an interesting fact about oneself. I would fumble around and iterate some unoriginal sentiment about my favorite color or animal and leave without actually providing substance about myself. This all changed after I lost the vision in my right eye and could tell people about the three-inch needle that pierces my eye multiple times every year. I thoroughly enjoy watching people squirm as I chuckle and explain the process.

Over the course of the semester we have done numerous writing assignments in order to help us dig deeper into topics that we might not have known about previously and to improve our writing skills. I have never been an excellent writer. I’ve had trouble planning out where details would go in my past papers. However, there has been a clear improvement in my writing when looking back on the work that I have done in this class.

Despite my intellect, most colleges would classify me as a mundane, unimpressive person. I'm a white, heterosexual, Christian male: the most stereotypical example of a privileged person in America. I have experienced privilege, but I have also experienced hardships and inequitable stereotypes.

I remember where it all started; I sat on the guard stand of an empty pool with a nagging mother texting my phone and time to kill. It was the summer before my senior year, the summer before I would make the most important decision of my life so far. I stared down at the blank list of schools in front of me; where to start? I visited a few campuses, and my mother put a few bugs in my ear, one for her alma mater, and the other for two historically black schools (HBCUs). I wrote the first down, placing it low on my list, but there was hesitation with the other two. My entire academic career have been in predominantly white environments; how would I navigate a majority black space?

Over the history of this country, many families across the globe have come to the U.S. in hopes of a better life. My family was one of the many that decided to leave our home country and come to the United States. We never realistically imagined coming to America, but when we did, it was a real dream come true. Knowing I was coming to this country as a student was especially exciting for me personally. We were so excited about this new adventure and the opportunities we would have, despite the many challenges that lay ahead. Two of the obstacles I had to overcome, were having to learn a new language, and build new relationships.