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Personal Narrative: Stony Brook Elementary School

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I had been locked in a dark closet with no windows, and the only light I saw had appeared through the crack beneath the door. Everyone had watched me drown but could not do anything about it. At fifteen years old, I naively believed a strange equation not taught in any math class. However, this was not my own equation. One’s self-worth could exponentially increase as one’s physical occupancy decreased. My clammy palms clasped the wooden arm of a plush, pink chair. The crisp air of the empty hall sent chills up my spine. Beaming lights engulfed the room. My heart felt dense. I could see my chest compress and decompress with every erratic beat and arrhythmic dance. Nerves jolted through my body. My mother squeezed my skeletal hand as she sat …show more content…

I gasped for air as I turned the corner on Stanford Street and passed Stony Brook Elementary School. Eight miles. I exerted all the energy left in my body to run up my not-so-steep driveway. My fingers and toes shivered as pins and needles rushed through my body, even though the summer humidity had just arrived for the season. As I reached the top of my driveway, I stumbled into my house. I gripped every object in my path. I knew my muscles had been eating themselves away, as grasping onto the smooth, granite edges of the counter to keep myself stable took my entire body’s corporation. My deteriorating muscles clenched as my powerless strength pushed myself up to stand alongside the counter in the middle of the kitchen. I think I may pass out, again. I held onto the counter as if I held on for my life. I closed my thick eyelids and patiently waited until the feeling past— it always did. Within a few minutes, my balance stabilized. My vision blurred, but I could stand. I rubbed my hand over my chest, feeling the bumps of each individual rib and collarbone. I felt not disgusted; I felt …show more content…

I opened the folder and gazed over the words written on the page. Eating Disorder Recovery…Signs and Symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa…The Feelings and Hunger-Fullness Scale. I knew those words were coming, but I still bemusedly processed to what Jill had indirectly told me. I stared blankly into the words on the papers. She kept talking. Her voice in the background sounded like screeches on a chalkboard: painful and loud. I read over the words again. A wave of emotions came flooding at me: confusion, anger, sadness, relief. I had the urge to cry, but I held back the tears and let my eyes burn. I felt ashamed. I felt ashamed that I let myself be consumed by the illness; although I know now, this was not my fault. Mostly, I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. So badly, I wanted someone to help me end this misery. I wanted to escape the death grip the eating disorder had on my mind and body. Jill had answered my silent call for help. The light beneath the door crack became brighter and brighter. Although, Jill insisted that it would be a long road, she said it would be worth it. She was

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