Personal Narrative: My Identity

Have you ever been asked what’s your race or ethnicity? Well I have, and it’s a strange question to answer personally. When someone asks me that I have to wait and ponder as to why in the world would one would be asking such a strange question. I

There are many ways One’s identity can be defined. Only you can truly define who you are. You control what your experiences and influences make of you. When asked who am I, there could be millions of different answers depending on what you base your identity off of. To me, the question who am I, can only truly be answered in one way. So, who am I? For me, it’s an easy question. I’ve always known that I was the quiet girl In the back of the classroom by herself.

Multiracial individuals not only face discrimination and prejudice on an institutional and societal levels, they can also face discrimination and prejudice from within their own family unit. Multiracial individuals sometimes struggle with developing their cultural identity. Identities are shaped, influenced and impacted by our environmental surroundings (i.e. parents, home, peers, etc..).

Who am I? How do I identify myself? These two questions were the constant questions running through my mind as I envisioned writing a paper about cultural humility. First step, define cultural humility. Cultural humility, as I understand, is the ability for an individual to open their mind and be willing to learn about and find acceptance in differences between cultural identities. Answering the questions above and understanding the definition brought about some realizations within myself that were never really addressed; some of the issues didn’t really become clear until well into adulthood.

Race and ethnicity have always been a difficult topic to talk about, but not because I am embarrassed, but because to this date I’m still confused. Most of the time I find myself confused and asking questions such as, who am I? Where do I belong?

Race is another one of those base identity pieces that people use to assume who somebody is. “Being black remains the core part of my mother’s identity.” (Eubanks61) Race should just be another base part of your identity that you can build off, it shouldn’t be this big “core part.” Somebody shouldn’t look at you and assume who you are just because of what race you are. They should have to talk to you to see who the person is behind this race.

When people see me for the first time, they assume that I am African-American because of my skin color. However, when they hear me speak, they assume I am Latina because I speak Spanish. When they finally meet me, I can tell they are very confused. Yet this very confusion is what I appreciate most about my identity. No one can say for sure who or what I am, and I like being an enigma.

I am black but I’m also american, a girl and gay. All those things shouldn’t matter but in this country that matters alot. Everyone has their perspective of what I am but honestly I just want to be identified simply as me. But in this day and age I have to have a bit of background information on the side so I won’t get those awkward question such as. “Are you mixed you look a bit chinese with those almond eyes?” “Oh I love your hair what are you mixed with?” To be quite honest I have no idea but I do know that I’m black no doubt about that and I have a few perks to being black but also a few set backs as well. I think that I’m at the point of internalization-commitment because I see no one for their color but more of their character and how

Up until recently, I have struggled with my identity. Despite fully acknowledging the fact that I’m half black and half white, I was never able to fit into either group without subconsciously molding myself into this person that they expected me to be and conforming to their ideas of how I should “act” in accordance to the race that they categorized me as.

I myself identify as mixed race but I truly don’t have any idea the percentages that make up my racial profile. From my father’s side there is Mexican and Apache Mascalero coupled with my mother’s side there is caucasian and through searching much of the lineage hails from England and Ireland with rumors of some Native American. Looking at myself in the mirror I don’t feel like I stand out as anything inparticular but many times during my years of working customer service and a grocery store in Florida I was often asked the question “What are you?”. I would also have people try to guess my race and would get everything from Puerto Rican, Brazilian, Colombian, Greek, Italian,

Although this happened, I still wasn’t fully consciously aware of my ethnicity and how it may affect my life. At the age of 12, I remember my best friend calling me mixed or “dougla” a terminology used in the Caribbean to describe someone who is of African and Indian descent. I was not longer identified as being black, but a person of mixed ethnicity since my mother was a blend of Indian, African, and Portuguese. Without a doubt, this took me back to Fullwiley in “Race in a Genetic World” where her race was changed multi times throughout her journey even though she was African American. At that time in my life, I was conflicted with what my ethnicity really was since my peers were identifying me both socially and

“You're Mexican?” Is the question that has been etched in my brain from a young age. As a person of Mexican descent and little resemblance to stereotypical appearances of brown eyes, short, and black hair, this is the hurtful response to my answer for the question,”,What ethnicity are you?” Unfortunately, the assertion that I am Mexican is something that I have had to defend throughout my entire life. In defense of this part of my identity, I write this essay.

While completing my handout I realized things about myself that I never really thought about. First, I can say that it was very easy to determine the first question. As I know that I am Caucasian. However, I realized that it may not be so easy for my daughter. This is due to the fact her father is multiracial to begin with so I don’t know what racial group she would like to place herself in. Furthermore, one could see that for many Americans that are of a multiracial decent could be confused having to select one particular race or being subjected to writing in their own response.

The answer to this question is deeply related to my identity. I am Japanese and at the same time Chinese. Though this is just a fact of myself, do you know how long had it taken me to confidently say it? For merely 9 words, it had taken me almost the whole obligational education life to claim it without any hesitation. When I was in the Japanese school, there were all pure Japanese students surrounding me. As you can imagine, the mood always made me pretend like a pure Japanese and feel the shame of being Chinese. At that time, I extremely hated people asking me whether I’m Chinese or Japanese and hated myself who always answered

In the early years of life, most children do not spend their free time looking in the mirror and wracking their brain for an answer to the question, “What are you?” I suppose that particular experience is quite unique to my childhood. For as long as I can remember my race has been something that comes into question or speculation in some way or another. To this day, I struggle with my identity due to being a mixed race individual.