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Personal Narrative: Hell

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Hell, as it turns out, is a picnic date with Satan where the only food ever served is egg-salad sandwiches. Maybe everyone’s version of Hell is different, but in mine, Satan also hates egg-salad sandwiches and I am still a relationship counsellor despite the fact that I had cheated on my living wife twice. It had been a while since I adjusted to Hell’s demon flames perpetually searing my backside making it feel like sunburn whenever I sat down to eat with my new best friend Satan, but I couldn’t get used to the bland lump sandwiches.
“Satan, I don't know if i can stand another egg-salad sandwich.” I said one afternoon.
“I know man, me too but really, it’s Hell and you don’t get a choice.” my red friend replied.
“I am aware that the chef is your boyfriend but that’s only more reason to talk to him about this. You need to be communicating with each other to maintain a stable relationship.”
“That’s easier said than done. Last time I tried to ask Chef to remember to turn off the bathroom lights he kept apologizing and burst into tears.”
“As your relationship counsellor-“ I started.
“My relationship counsellor who got sent to Hell because he cheated on his wife? You’re as slimy as these sandwiches. Trish was too good for …show more content…

Everyone has things they want to say to God. It’s normal to want to ask God why he made certain things happen, and why he made certain people exist. For example in my case, I knew the first question I wanted to ask God the Creator was why he had to drop Melissa into my life to drag me down to Hell. If God really did have a plan for every individual person like the Bible says, was my being in Hell part of it? Was there a life after this afterlife where I could get out of eating disgusting egg-salad sandwiches? More importantly, was there any way I could get out of this all? I knew it would be more than difficult to reach God on my own but if I tagged along with Satan, it was possible to make an appointment with the King of

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