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Personal Narrative: Anorexia

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For all the people who keep asking "what's wrong with me?" and after month of trying to put into words what I experience here it is.

A lot of people think that Anorexia is just for selfish people. As if one day I woke up and decided not to eat because I wanted attention. This is far from the truth. As some of you know food and I haven't had the best relationship. I suffer with extreme anxiety which often leads to feeling as though everything is out of my control. My weight, what I ate, and how much I exercised were things I could control. I loved calorie counting because of the numbers. I loved exercising because I had a mental calculator going of how much I needed to work out to burn off what I ate, if I ate anything at all that day. …show more content…

As crazy as this sound I wanted to be exactly 98.7 pounds because if I was that skinny I thought I would be happy with myself. But from what i've learned a number doesn't define you and what's inside counts way more.

I am slowly on the road to recovery. Since October I have been doing an intensive program to help me through the difficult time. Recovery is slow and not always easy. Some days I feel helpless like I am a puppet on a string who just wants freedom. I have to be monitored during meals which suck right now but slowly I want to gain trust back to eat on my own. I know with the skills I am learning now will only help me become stronger.

My eating disorder isn't my life, it's just a part of my life. I no longer give it power over me. I now know that I am capable of anything I set my mind to. I am strong and unconquerable. I am fighter, a believer, and visible message of hope that recovery is possible.

This isn't for popularity or attention in fact I don't want people to treat me any different. Treat me like Lexi not Anorexia because it's not me. Instead I want to show people even as hard as it may seem it's okay to ask for help. End the stigma around mental illness because, it's okay to have something wrong no one is perfect. If I can help one person by sharing my story than it would be worth all the stress i've had about telling the

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