Ordinary People Reflection

In a conversation with psychiatrist Dr. Berger Conrad is asked who does most of the worrying and he answers "My father, mostly. This is his idea." When asked about his mother he says "She's-I don't know, she's not a worrier." Clearly Conrad thinks that his mother doesn't care about him. Conrad also goes on later to say, "My mother and I do not connect."

The stages of grief are demonstrated in Conrad’s relationships with his family and friends. Conrad has experienced depression and a suicide attempt in response to his brother’s death. At the beginning of the book, Conrad is going through the first stage of grief, which is shock and denial. Conrad’s father, Cal, worries about Conrad’s mental health and gives him the name of a therapist. However, Conrad does not call him. Cal believes that Conrad, “ ought to stick with the plan --’” (13) However, Conrad “can’t [because he] is swimming every night…[He doesn’t] need to see anybody. [He] feels fine’ (13). Conrad is uncomfortable talking about the death, and seeing a therapist would require him to talk. Conrad is afraid to feel his emotions. He thinks if he just avoids thinking about his brother’s death, he will be okay. The second

His brother Buck died on a boat when both of them went out to sea and their boat turned over, his brother was thinking that nothing was going to happen but something did and he got stranded away from the flipped boat. He ended up drowning, Conrad’s mother seemed to like buck the best, which in turn makes Conrad’s relationship with his mother very conflicting. He tends to show violence after a psychiatrist, Dr. Berger, showed him how he was holding in his emotions and how to show them in a healthy way. If he learned how to use A.M.P.P. then he would have been able to handle his anger which he masters near the end of the

After reading the DSM-5 is was clear to me that Conrad was suffering from persistent depressive disorder. In order to be diagnosed with PDD you must have a depressed mood for most of the day, which in children and adolescents lasts for a year. Conrad’s problems have been going on for just over a year, as his brother died in early summer and the book takes place the next fall. His depressed mood is apparent from the very start of the book, as he mentions not having

He was used to live in his brother’s shadow, but when the boat accident happened to them, he was the only one to survive. As he was always indentifying himself the less important one, he considered it was wrong that he was the one who would still have a life. As a result of nervous breakdown, he tried to kill himself with cutting his wrists in the bathroom, fortunately his father found out and save him. Then he went to the psychiatric for four months. When he comes back, there are still issues he needs to deal with.

Conrad, the son of Beth and Calvin, recently came home from the hospital where he received treatment and counseling for committing suicide. Conrad tends to display “silence” by withdrawing and masking. In one particular scene of the movie as he was riding in the car with three

Berger, "She loved my brother, too.  It's just me"(120).  He concluded that Beth could not love him because there was something wrong with him.  After the big fight that Conrad had with his parents, he revealed to his father his opinion of Beth's feelings for him. Conrad tells him, "All right, then.  She hates me"(114).  Because Conrad felt that there was something wrong with him, he did not know how to react to situations nor did he know when to express his feelings.  For his Christmas present, Conrad's parents and grandparents bought him a car.  His response to this extravagant present was, "Yeah, okay… Thank you both, it's beautiful really.  It's terrific"(126).  He was not overly excited, as one should be, on receiving such an extraordinary gift.  He was not quite sure how to act, so he repressed all of his feelings.  In an early conversation with Berger, Conrad said, "What I'm doing here is that I had to come"(41).  This proves that Conrad was in denial of his psychological state and foreshadows Conrad's severe state of depression.  Conrad repressed all of his feelings and emotions.  He told Berger, "I don't feel anything"(98). Later on in the conversation, Berger told Conrad that the "Only way you're ever gonna get to know him [the guy in the closet] is to let him out now and then."(100)  This alludes to the fact that Conrad repressed his feelings and was extremely depressed.  All of these factors led to

Based on Conrad’s character in the movie, he could be described as having more of an intuitive grieving style. This style of grieving utilizes more of the affective domain and uses little of the cognitive (Martin & Doka, 2011). For the intuitive griever, grief is characterized by the experience of painful feelings. The feelings of guilt and sadness were those that Conrad experienced the most. After

The emotional agony that Conrad experienced following the death of his brother almost led to his end. The conflict inside of Conrad is only the beginning of his suffering. The emotions that engulf one's mind can swallow them up and eat them from the inside out. They demand to be felt, but the management of the emotional conflict has been just as important. For example, when the Jannett family is together to take family photos, including the grandparents, the disconnect between Conrad and his mother are clearly visible to the naked eye. After being asked to take a picture with her son, Beth hesitates, violently insisting a different photo to be taken in order to avoid accepting and showing the increasing disconnect between her and her son. Siting and watching, Conrad struggles internally to decode the intentions of the scene depicted in front of him before he burst into an outrage. Initially, Conrad practiced silence in the form of withdrawal. Thus, he situated himself in the isolated window chair. The actions of his mother spoke to him in the sense that she hated him, wishing to have nothing to do with him. The silence remained silent until he burst with rage, projecting the instructions of his father for the camera to be given to his emotionally silent mother. Conrad rested on the assumptions he formed based not only on his mother’s current action, but passed actions as well, to reveal what he

Regarding psychological functioning, Conrad is under the vicious cycle of depression. His brother’s death led him to adapt a negative explanatory style. This in turn resulted in his depressed mood and cognitive and behavioral changes. He also believes that he has disobeyed his parents and does not deserve their forgiveness or affection (1:09:38). Conrad lives with a sense of guilt, not only for attempting suicide, but for things he had no control over (ex. Karen’s death). From a socio-cultural approach, Conrad depression worsens due to his unstable relationship with his mother, along with other relationships in his life. Throughout the movie, we clearly see that Conrad’s mother does not understand the severity of Conrad’s mental state. She frequently believes that Conrad is fine and wants their lives to ‘get back to normal’ (0:24:37). She believes Conrad’s mental health is a phase that can be fixed by simply being harder on him. The movie also takes place in a time where discussing mental health is taboo. Mental illness was significantly less common and thought to be a touchy subject. Throughout the movie, we can see that people do not know how to approach the Jarretts about Conrad’s state and frequently stumble through conversations or do not understand the situation (0:22:14; 0:31:52; 0:48:05). This plays a part in Conrad’s depression because he feels he can’t talk to or relate to anyone

Conrad even starts talking to Jeaninne a lot sooner in the movie then in the book. She helps him overcome his depression. Seeing Dr.Berger also helped him with his depression. He helps him decide to quit the swim team, and that makes him less stressed, but it happens at different times in the book and the

He is definitely feels guilty for the accident even though he couldn't do anything to try and prevent his brother’s death. He definitely went through the bargain stage before everything and is now going through it once again. Conrad is really hard on himself. He punishes himself because he thinks that if he is punished enough, he won't feel bad. Conrad feels guilty and responsible for the death of his brother even though, there is nothing he could have done better to save him. He is similar to his father in that he feels responsible and

Now, any normal mother would say, “come on now, do not be sad. Eat your breakfast”, but not in this case. She immediately takes his breakfast and throws it away without even making sure he didn't want it. Now this behavior is called being passive agressive. It is what she didn't say which hurt the most to Conrad. The way she should have reacted to him should have been more concerning. She should have made sure he was okay and asked why he is avoiding breakfast and being more quiet. It was the mother’s lack of concern for anyone but herself which caused the family predicament to escalate. The next significant conflict rising from neglect of addressing the real issue is between Calvin, Conrad’s father, and Beth, Conrad’s mother. This conflict was, in my opinion, the main conflict of the story. This can be proven through continued arguments where the father is left facing his wife and always gets an ultimatum of choosing his wife or Conrad. An excellent example is when Conrad and Calvin get home from buying a christmas tree. Beth confronts Conrad about quitting the swimming team and blows up the entire situation into making it about how he is a bad kid and then about how it will affect her image.

Chalk-faced, hair-hacked Conrad seems hell bent on continuing the family myth that all is well in the world. Their initial sessions together frustrate Dr. Berger because of Conrad's inability to express his feelings.

I mean he wasn’t telling me anything I couldn’t figure out for myself. Really, the only one who can help you is you. Well, you and God (Guest 55)”. This demonstrated that Karen was unwilling to receive help; since she had no one to lean on she decided to end her life. Conrad did not give up like Karen did because he got the social support he needed to cope with his grief. The decision Conrad made of continuing to see Dr. Berger was a very smart step because a lot of people like Karen give up, but he kept trying. This helped him avoid extreme measures and was a sign that he was starting to find his identity. Equally important, when Conrad went to Dr. Berger for support after Karen’s death he said this to Dr. Berger after they talked about it, “I don’t know what I would have done if I couldn’t have gotten you this morning. I feel so shaky”(Guest 227). This proved that Dr. Berger did hold Conrad back from not hurting himself, and helped him control his feelings. In short, Dr. Berger helped Conrad avoid suicide, which then gave Conrad the chance to realize he was a stronger person than he thought he was. With this, he found his confident identity at the end of the book, which he would not have gotten without Dr. Berger.