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Oaklander's Behavior In Children Chapter 10 Summary

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In chapter ten, Oaklander discusses how she treats specific problem behaviors in children. Oaklander does not view a child’s annoying or socially unacceptable behavior as an illness, but rather as a strength in coping to survive. She advocates for children and acknowledges that childhood is like a prison where there is often a double standard of behavior for children and adults. The first problem Oaklander discusses is aggression which is often caused by hurtful feelings. When children show aggression they may be feeling anger without a way to express it. Society teaches children and adults to suppress anger rather than express it in an appropriate manner. Oaklander teaches children how anger feels, practical ways to express anger, and to …show more content…

Some techniques Oaklander uses include finger-painting, water play, and massage. Any tactile experience is helpful. If a child has a short attention span, Oaklander has the child focus and really experience one thing and then refocus on something else. Oaklander explains that children are often withdrawn because they are escaping a world which is too painful for them, and where it feels too dangerous to speak freely. Oaklander uses expressive techniques such as drawing pictures on paper, making a scene in the sand, and keeping a notebook of thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Children have many fears which should be acknowledged by adults. Fears are often the underlying cause of aggressive behavior, withdrawn behavior, and physical symptoms. Oaklander reads a book about fear to children then encourages them to tell a story about fear. Picture cards and drawing fears with lines, shapes, symbols, or colors also help children share their fears. Just like adults, children have stressful situations and traumatic experiences. This can include divorce, illness, death, and even minor things such as moving, an accident, an addition to the family, and even the death of a beloved pet. These situations can be openly discussed through drawing pictures, working with clay, and playing with figures in a …show more content…

Some children hang on, people please, and have insecurities. Oaklander helps them gain confidence through self-expression. She helps loners appreciate their uniqueness. She sees lots of children who are lonely. They often become isolated from others because when they share angry feeling, others don’t want to be around them. Oaklander allows children to express their anger in therapy. For children with autism, it can be helpful to cue into what they want to do, rather than have them fit into a structured plan. Children often have guilt when they are not comfortable expressing their angry feelings and turn them inwards. Once again learning to express angry feelings can help. Children who have low self-esteem need to receive specific praise, be listened to, treated with respect, and be allowed to express

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