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My Family : The Image Of The Perfect Family

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In the eyes of my neighbors and my parent’s restaurant customers, my father, mother, older sister, younger brother, and I were the epitome of the perfect family. From the outside looking in, we were loving, supportive, happy, and accepting. However, their image of my family did not fit my own. Despite the hugs and kisses my father gifted my siblings and me, he was both physically and verbally abusive towards my mother. Strained silences and an uncomfortable feigned sense of normalcy were all consequences of his anger.
Growing up, I thought the purple and black bruises littered on my mother’s back and face were my fault and would persistently monitor his behavior towards my mother as an effort to shield her from my father’s petrifying rage. I believed my father’s abusive tendencies stemmed from my mediocre grades and ‘rebellious’ behavior. I decided I needed to create an identity for myself to please my father because I believed keeping him happy would be the end to his abusive tendencies. I started working towards emulating what I believed were the intrinsic qualities of a perfect daughter; I was attentive to my father, saying good night and good morning with a kiss. I was obedient, listening to every command and whim given to me in his presence. Most importantly, I was ‘smart’, working to achieve the highest grades and becoming the intelligent mastermind I thought the daughter of Chinese immigrants should be. When the report card came in the mail, respite from the usual

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