My Experience In My Life

Ten years ago, I was officially a college dropout; leaving Wiley College after only two years was the biggest mistake of my life. Ten years ago, I created a narrative about the type of people who went to college. I made myself believe that college was a place exclusively for extremely smart people who came from nice middle-class families. College was not a place where an African American who lived in subsidized housing went. Although I was enrolled in college and doing quite well, I fell victim to self-doubt and ultimately believed that I did not have the ability to graduate. Consequently, after only two years, I dropped out of college.

My first experience as a freshman was not the best, but it sure was one of the funniest. I was excited and wanted to share the news with my family. My mom could not contain her laughter when she heard how she drove a bike too fast around downtown with an outdated knowledge of how. Their favorite part had been when the faces of the people were contorted in fear and their bodies screamed an alert, with the intention to step aside in the hope of avoiding me on the bicycle. Her laughter was pure. She laughed without worries. I still remember the last words of that conversation we had held on the telephone in Oglethorpe Square.

Maya Angelou once said, “What is the fear of living? It’s being preeminently of dying. It is not doing what you came here to do, out of timidity and spinelessness. The antidote is to take full responsibility of yourself - for the time you take up and the space you occupy. If you don’t know what you’re here to do, then just do some good.” Everyday I think about everything I went through while growing up and forming into the person I am today. Going through all the experiences I have gone through, I didn’t realize how much they would impact me today and serve as lessons. Today I am a freshman in college. I did not think I would make it this far. The precious gift of life is to enjoy every moment as if it is your last.

Hope Rebecca Davis, a little formal don’t you think? You’d think that my parents thought I was going to be the hope of the world or something of that sort, but that is the farthest from the truth. I was named Hope just because my mom thought that Hope was a “pretty” name. As you know that was probably a bit disappointing for me, but my name represents a great deal to me. Hope means to have a feeling of expectation or desire for a certain thing to happen… then I considered the following, I can be the person in the world that makes these things happen. I can be the change in this unfluctuating society. I can be the person I want to be when I grow older, I just don’t know what I desire to do yet. But experiences in my life such as these are going to guide me to where I need to be.

My college routine goes like this: Wake up, study, go to the gym, shower, go to classes, go to the library, practice the violin, go to meetings and activities, studying, and then back to my dorm for a restful sleep. I like to say that I can achieve my goals as a dual-degree student pursuing Music and Pharmaceutical Studies towards a PharmD. because I love the consistency in my routine. As a dual-degree student, I have 8-10 courses a semester that I need to take. Being organized and managing my time wisely motivates and allows me to do everything that the University of Connecticut offers for me.

Imagine your story becoming the forerunner of someone else’s. Someone you have never met, yet because of one story, he or she found the strength and courage to become a person far greater than ever imagined. A story of unimaginable adventures, lessons, and hardships, this is the story I, Thu Dang, will create for myself and others.

As time passed, it seemed to fly faster and faster. Soon, it was the summer between my sophomore and junior years and I had an abundance of plans for how to spend my summer. One event stood out compared to all of the others. It would greatly influence my life and shape my thoughts to the way they are today. Reminiscing about the events of my past, my journey to the glamorous mountains of Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico to hike for a week is indisputably the greatest memory of my life so far.

Growing up without parents at a young age was difficult. I didn’t understand why things happened the way they did and why no one was ever there to answer the many questions I had. Seeing the kids at school drawing their perfect house and family was almost too much to bear sometimes. All the school events, holidays, birthdays and activities always made me feel like I wasn’t whole. At a young age, I knew that I only had myself and with no parental support, it felt like the chances of succeeding were diminished. Without the love and support from a family, it's hard to stay on the right track and have the motivation to do better. I remember envying my peers because I so badly desired what they had. I had to learn how to overcome the jealousy while learning how to be independent. Being on my own taught me to appreciate what I had and how to make light of any situation that life may throw.

My life is a sailboat sailing through the sea. It is a sailboat because sometimes life can be an easy breeze and it feels like you have no worries and nothing else matters except the moment you are currently in. Although sometimes life can almost feel like you’re in the middle of a terrible storm in the ocean ; everything seems to be going wrong in every way. Once you finally get out of the storm, the sun starts peeking through the clouds; the waves become calm again and the cooling sea breeze hits your face ever so softly. Knowing that everything is going to be okay.

My first semester as a college student is coming to an end. I remember moving in, scared of making friends and starting a new adventure. I remember wandering around like a lost sheep attempting to find the classrooms I would spend the next few months in. All this seems like it happened forever ago, but in reality, it was just three short months ago. Mid-semester, I recall beginning to countdown the weeks left. And now here I am. I made it.

When I look at how different our lives were five months ago so many things run through my mind, “What could we have done differently?” “What could I have done differently?” The week of finals before the end of my junior year I wondered if bad things really do happen to good people, or if good people do bad things that put them into bad places.

My life was perfect, I got along with my siblings, my mom and I were close… Well then there’s my dad. We were always really close, he and I would go out to the barn together at the old house and he would speak to me as if I were the audience. We always enjoyed each other's company until one day he started acting strange, and then stranger, and then even stranger until the point where my mom found him in the middle of the night standing in a parking lot in his pajamas. She eventually left him… I don’t blame her, I mean he wouldn’t get help.

When I was young, I struggled with honesty and openness in communication which made my life more difficult. My parents could not trust me, and I would lie without even thinking about it. I was not the best child in the world, and I did not always choose to look at the good side of things. That was before, before the divorce.

Aurora, Illinois, a suburb near Chicago with many hills, big and small, and many lakes, rivers, and ponds. The townhouse I lived in was quite noisy at times, thanks to mom and dad. Aside from all the parental chaos, home was home, purple chicken noodle soup and bike rides were what I looked forward to. I loved the landscape and how much of it there was, the sky was always so colorful, the fireflies lit up the city parks making the city seem magical in a way. Aurora was a city that was all about unity, everyone came together for events, clubs, and during tragedies. You would always see a group of people running the hills in matching shirts or a whole neighborhood celebrating someone's birthday.

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do” - Julian Edelman. Throughout life I have overcome obstacles that seemed almost impossible to conquer. Crying, fighting, searching for a way out of my life that has haunted me for eighteen years. I thought I would never live to see this age, but here I am today, standing tall and proud amongst others everyday. The lessons I have learned and experiences I have gone through have built my character, gave meaning to my visits back home, and have helped me find ways to keep myself busy with free time.