Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me Book Report

Kathryn Schulz argues in “Evidence”, a chapter of her book called Being Wrong, that we need to “learn to actively combat our inductive biases: to deliberately seek out evidence that challenges our beliefs, and to take seriously such evidence when we come across it” (Schulz, 377”). By attending to counterevidence we can avoid making errors in our conclusions.

In reading "Mistakes were Made but Not by me," multiple accounts are given of traits exhibited by humans that are displayed subconsciously. The authors, Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, begin by defining these traits and give readers the actual terminology to these characteristics. With various examples being provided to the reading audience they are then able to make a clear correlation between the behaviors displayed and how they may impact not only themselves but others around them. "Mistakes were Made but Not by me" has a theme which is centralized around the two key facets which are cognitive dissonance and self- justification.

There are many causes of self-betrayal in today's society. Accordingly, Self-Betrayal comes from an individual who fails to recognize a fault within themselves, then obtains a sudden realization of said fault which affects the person in a negative manner. Before one can change others, one must change themselves. These causes of self-betrayal are seen in the article Great Betrayals by The New York Times. “Discoveries of such secrets typically bring on tumultuous crises. Ironically, however, in my clinical experience, it is often the person who lied or cheated who has the easier time.” ( Fels. A Great Betrayals). Indeed, it is true that in some circumstances the act of betraying one's self can lead to a positive outcome. With this acknowledgment

Unacknowledged Shame Theory is seen in a perspective that shame can cause a destructive emotion and can promote crime instead of preventing it if it is not managed positively. By using apology in return for forgiveness symbolises that reparation can commence (Braithwaite, 2004).

When one does wrong, the common reaction is to hide it and pretend as if nothing happened. Because of the human conscience it is difficult to completely forget about a wrongdoing. Through our conscience guilt is built up and eventually that guilt shatters enough

Individuals use unnecessary apologies to please one another in order to avoid feeling like undesirable situations are their fault, but must learn to stop taking the blame and stand up for themselves. In fact, many people conceive an apology as “self-depreciating” or an “automatic way of keeping both

They point out that assumptions are based on our own feelings. For example, if we feel hurt, then the other person must have meant to hurt us. Furthermore, we should acknowledge the hurt feelings of the other, even if this was not our intent. The final component of the “what happened” conversation is the problem with the assignment of blame, which inhibits the ability to learn about the cause of the problem or to collaborate to fix it. The authors remind us that “…blame is about judging and contribution is about understanding (p. 59).” Attention should be focused on examining each person’s contribution to the problem with a goal of understanding cause and avoiding future problems. An effective “what happened” conversation illuminates the fact that the situation is more complex than either party’s original perception. Next, the authors discuss the importance of having a “feelings” conversation. Although emotions frequently drive difficult conversations, people often ignore them. However, unaddressed feelings generally re-emerge to impair understanding, hinder listening, and damage relationships. Although feelings do not always make sense, they still exist and require acceptance, so that both parties can feel understood. The third conversation is one that we have with ourselves about what this situation means about our personal identity. We may question our competence, goodness, or

As Humans we live making so many excuses for ourselves. Our actions, and consequences all

The principle of self-justification explains the dissonance of two or more thoughts or beliefs that are inconsistent. For example, when our attitudes change, we experience a feeling of tension that happens after we act in contrary to our attitudes or when we make difficult decisions to reduce the arousal of our behavior. Furthermore, these principle of self-justification is composed of two strategies the internal self-justification and the external self-justification. The internal self-justification refers to the change that people perceive when their actions are in denial or when they have negative consequences, while the external self-justification refers to the use of external excuses used to justify one’s actions.

Author, A., & Author, B. (Year). Title of the book. Publication City, ST: Publisher Name. Goldberg, C. (1991). Understanding shame. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.

According to Crabb (1977), there are several factors that motivate human behavior. Although there several motivators, Crabb (1977) insists that the need to feel secure and the need to feel significant are the two primary provokers. Often, a human’s primary motivator to meet these needs becomes the driving force behind any action. When a situation or event is encountered, often, the individual will analyze whether or not one of these two needs is threatened, if it is, a person will most often behave in a way that protects (Crabb, 1977). I have seen this to be true in my life and in the lives of many of my friends. For example, someone will make hurtful or unloving comment, and the receiver will retaliate with a defensive or hurtful remark to protect their security or significance from the offense. Unfortunately, this type of unhealthy behavior can set a person on a downhill spiral that may result in a ripple effect of negative impacts. Frequently, friends, business partners, spouses, children, and even other opportunities are disengaged because

“Self-defeating behaviour is the idea that sometimes people knowingly do things that will cause them to fail or bring them trouble. It is defined as “any deliberate or intentional behaviour that has clear, definitely or probably negative effects on the self or on the self’s projects.” The concept of and theories behind why a person behaves in ways that are self-defeating is one that has been examined by many psychological approaches over time. In this essay I will define and explain self-defeating behaviours, their origins, causes and reasons for maintaining them, together with examples of such behaviours. Subsequently I will focus on two approaches to

Two different but similar forms of writing are able to be tied down into one general but specific category. In the book, Mistakes Were Made (but not by me), by Elliot Aronson and Carol Tavris, Aronson and Tavris commentates on events that people go through. The book is mainly about Elliot Aronson’s and Carol Tavris’ opinion on how people behave and should behave when caught in tough situations. Instead of focusing on one main character in the book, each section of the book illustrates a different person 's’ situation and that situation would correspond with a specific theme in the chapter. Throughout the book, Aronson and Tavris give us a broad idea of how some psychological thinking/processes comes into play, each psychological concept corresponds to a chapter or section in the book, these ideas are: confirmation bias, revision of memories, self-justification, pyramid of choice, cognitive dissonance, blind spots, closed loops, reducing cognitive dissonance, blaming, self-justification (for the greater good), and (sunk costs). Another form of writing, “Wrong Answer”, by Rachel Aviv, is an article focusing on the main idea of a school going through tough times and the outcome of the actions taken by the staff. The article revolves around Parks Middle School in Atlanta. The teachers and staff in Parks Middle School were caught cheating and changing the answers students submitted for standardized tests, and this little mess resulted in hundreds of teachers being laid off and

The true purpose of self-reflection is to correct our mistaken thoughts and actions, and learn from them, thereby creating a more constructive life. Self-reflection is not just the simple act of discovering past mistakes and making up for these mistakes, like resetting a negative to zero. The ultimate objective of self-reflection is the development of a more positive self and the realization of a utopia on earth as the fulfilment of God’s will."

The truth about mistakes is that they’re a part of life. We can’t avoid faults but we can look back at them too prevent ourselves from doing the same mistakes, again. Sometimes, many will look back and realize that their mistake caused more good than bad. They’ll realize that maybe their mistake isn’t really a mistake, and they’ll become proud of what they have done. I’m one of those people because I have struggled to convince myself that what I did was right. After a giving a lot of thought, I finally came to the conclusion, that making my dad choose between us and alcohol, is and will always be my favorite mistake. Sometimes I wonder if I could’ve done things differently and, other times I wonder whether or not I’m satisfied with the results, but I have yet to tell myself again, that what I did was wrong.