Interdependence Theory And Comparison Level For Alternatives

One theory of the formation of a romantic relationship is one put forward by Byrne and Clore called the reward/need satisfaction model. They suggested that we have relationships long term because we find them rewarding, or we don’t like the prospect of being alone.  The rewards from a partner can include friendship, love and sex, or the particular person is associated with pleasant situations so then we want to spend time with them and form a romantic relationship. This can also include the satisfaction from a relationship with a person of high social status, as it would make you look good to other people. These needs can differ from person to person

3.1 Process involved in the development, maintenance and breakdown of relationships – development - Reward/need satisfaction model direct reinforcement may encourage the formation of a relationship between individuals. Operant conditioning could occur where an individual is positively reinforced with the potential partner offering pleasant stimulus such as smiling. Additionally social needs may be provided for by this potential partner such as friendship and sex, furthering the likelihood of a relationship developing. Alternatively negative reinforcement may be involved where a negative stimulus is removed by the potential partner e.g. If a woman helps a man through a troubled time in his life he may find her more attractive as she has helped to alleviate his negative stimuli. Liking through association – Classical conditioning The potential partner may be associated with pleasant circumstances. If someone was to meet another individual while they are in a good mood, they may then associate such individual with the positive mood, finding them more

relationship usually makes major decision, such as where to live and how to furnish the home. The

My first article is written by Neil Bulson in "7 Types of Relationships Doomed to Fail," from Guyism, What Guys Need, which is a guy's point of view of relationships. The seven types of relationships that are doomed to fail according to the author are the following: 1. One of you is the Boss; 2. The Unbalance Relationship; 3. Too Many Secrets; 4. Not Enough Secrets; 5. Purely Physical; 6. Purely Emotional and; 7. Nothing in Common.

The codependent person works hard to control the behavior of their partner and, in doing so forgets what the roles and responsibilities are of each person in the relationship. When the relationship roles and responsibilities become blurred due to codependency, the relationship has just became one sided and could lead to over attachment or abuse which then can become an emotionally destructive relationship. Those with codependent tendencies usually have difficulty with healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.

Moreover, this relationship forms to satisfy the couple’s shared desire and to nullify the “threat of ultimate dreariness [which] seems to hang over even the happiest moments” (896).

Most importantly, the husband and wife need to both want the relationship and the lifelong commitment. In “The Girls in Their Summer Dresses,” part of the reason Michael and Frances’s marriage is falling apart, is because marriage is something Michael clearly did not want. When Frances asks him if he wants to be free from their relationship, he responds with “sometimes I feel like I would want to be free” (Shaw 8). Commitment is key to any relationship’s success. If two people enter a relationship, but have no desire or ability to work for it, the relationship is going to fail. Both people must commit to each other, as well as to the relationship. These are two different things. Commitment to another person, means being loyal, faithful, caring, and in touch with the other’s needs. Commitment to the relationship, means understanding your partner and working to put the relationship first. People often misinterpret putting the relationship first, as being selfless and giving in to the other person. Unfortunately, the

Sometimes partners create an unspoken agreement that one person always does what the other person wants and the other can do whatever they want. Interestingly, the second individual is not held to the same level of accountability. An example is when a man can be out at all hours of the night and balks at being questioned, yet the woman cannot do the same without facing an interrogation. This is an unhealthy foundation on which to build the relationship.

The four stages Sampling, Bargaining, Commitment and Institutionalisation describe how a relationship forms and settles. The theory is predominantly behaviourist and assumes that humans operate as rational beings making decisions based on costs and benefits and that their decision making is motivated by the desire to get basic individual needs met.

The Needs Satisfaction Theory is based on the behaviourist approach. It states that we form relationships and friendships based on what we will get out of them. There are two strands to this: needs and rewards. Our social needs are things like self esteem, influence, belonging and dependency. The rewards can include love, sex, friendship, respect, status and support, but this list is not exhaustive. Being in the relationship is rewarding, so this is positive reinforcement through operant conditioning. Byrne and Clore's (1970) Reinforcement-Affect theory claims that relationships are affected by operant and classical conditioning. According to their theory, people associate others with positive or enjoyable circumstances even when they are not directly rewarded by them.

People constantly evaluate the rewards and costs of their relationship as well as the rewards and costs of interaction with another individual. Rewards and costs can be tangible, such as money or gifts, or psychological, such as social support or intellectual stimulation (Unger & Johnson 604). According to Unger and Johnson, “if the reward/cost balance is more favorable than that of other potential relationships, the person will remain in the relationship, if the costs outweigh the rewards and an alternative relationship with more favorable outcomes is available, the person will leave the existing relationship in favor of the alternative” (604). Yet each reward and cost is different to each individual. To better understand reward and costs is to better understand each individual.

The social exchange theory controls our behavior as well as the reinforcement for our actions because before we act in most circumstances, we will weigh the rewards and costs of the behaviors. The behavior that we use is the one believed to produce the highest reward and the lowest cost. What we may perceive to be acceptable or unacceptable in the relationship is our comparison level that we weigh the rewards and costs against. The comparison level of alternatives is when we weigh the rewards and costs relative to the perceived alternatives. People also have a comparison level for the alternative relationships. With a high comparison level, we may believe the world is full of lovely people just waiting to meet us. When this level is low, we may stay in a high-cost relationship simply because we believe we could not find any better elsewhere. Molm (1991) shows that in recent research on individual judgments losses have a greater effect on people then gains.

The second major psychological perspective is that of learning. The perspective of learning is “concerned with how the environment and experience affect a person’s actions” (Wade and Tavris, 2011). When applied to a relationship standpoint many factors come into play. As a child who was raised to respect women, my mom always encouraged me to have healthy long-term relationships and not be a “player”. This lead to me implementing those ideas into my life and sticking with

Unsatisfied with their partners results in divorce rates and infidelity. These have increased over the years, blemishing the institution of marriage. People may believe that compromises and self sacrifice in a marriage make it a failed institute but the same reasons make a marriage successful. A married man has a constant in his life- his partner. The security and companionship in the relationship helps him achieve happiness. The same sharing is now a pleasure, a way to prevent loneliness (Argyle; 1999). Marriage is known to cause greater satisfaction, greater self esteem and less distress. Evidence shows that married men and women are happier.

In other words, a relationship in which you feel put down, afraid of or hurt by your partner.