We often ask ourselves, “how will I be perceived by others”? In the essay, ‘Breaking Dad’, French summarizes the challenges he navigated as a stay-at-home dad (SAHD); a position he was thrown into unexpectedly with the impression of this role being temporary. However, in Terry Martin Hekker’s essay “The Satisfactions of Housewifery,” she argues that the housewife occupation is slandered by humanity and is not given the recognition it deserves. While both texts compare the rather ‘hidden’ struggles stay at home parents face, the essays diverge from each other with Hekker concluding that the stay at home lifestyle is fulfilling to an individual while French encourages us to branch out from the expectations. Through the use of anecdotes and binaries, …show more content…
Throughout the piece, French describes how the guilt grew as his career plans shrank, adding that he felt ashamed he couldn’t fulfill the stereotypical ‘male role’. He shared “I sat apart, conflicted with my feelings”. While his wife was cast as the breadwinner, working a 9-5 job, French was struggling to be a sufficient caregiver for his son at home. When he was opted into a role normally classified as “the woman's job”, he became distraught and explained ‘I didn’t think I was cut out to be a full-time parent. I was ill-tempered and self-absorbed. When I was supposed to be parenting, I was really thinking about ‘work’. By admitting the insecurities surrounding his current role through his anecdote, it is clear that French feels guilty for not feeling content in caring for his children. While it did take time, French learned to accept the position he was in and even admitted ‘the shame once felt as a SAHD was morphing into a kind of pride’. However, despite the fulfillment French felt as a caregiver, he still sought out the kind of adrenaline he felt working on, noting, he wasn’t “discovering anything or taking risks”. And in time, he soon craved a greater purpose than simply being his
Similarly, French contradicts traditional gender roles and possesses the job of being a stay-at-home dad, detailing the hardships he has to face by doing so. French provides an anecdote in which he is surrounded by mothers and there he was solely representing a stay-at-home father (French
Throughout the first few paragraphs, Dobson builds up a setting that displays the persona’s inner turmoil of the filial and maternal responsibility that overwhelms her, using words that depict isolation, highlighting the hesitancy and hardship that she experiences. This offers a new, and confrontational understanding that is quite paradoxical to her probable original views of motherhood, and thus, has lead to a renewed insight of the maternal obligations and duties that she finds at times restrictive and confining. She feels an ephemeral sense of release when she has time alone, stating that the ‘night absolved me of my bonds,’ although she has an epiphanic discovery where which she changes her perspective on motherhood. The persona discovers a familial love that ‘grows about the bone,’ Dobson using a metaphor to show the new understanding and connection that the mother feels towards her family members. This is contrasted though to her original desire for liberation, as she wanted to be ‘separate and alone,’ showing the persona’s sense of confusion and inner struggle.
In the process of growth of an individual, they will recognise the love and sacrifice by the family always existed. In ‘Perfect chinese children’ love isn’t directed shown from her mother to Vanessa however, as she grew older she realised that her mother’s love and sacrifice was always shown through her words and actions. ‘Instead of a mother who stayed home all day cooking delicious and exotic meals, I had a mother who worked as a secretary for fourteen hours a day.’ In this juxtaposition, Vanessa compares her hard working mother to Vanessa’s ideal mum. It shows that she wanted a mother who stayed at home and looked after their kids and cook delicious food, however the reality was that her mother was barely at home, working 14 hours a day,