Gay Stereotypes

Living in a world full of social perceptions, expectations and limitations make it difficult to survive when everything about a person contradicts those social ideals. Humans are composed and influenced by multiple constituents: they are more than just “gay,” “fat,” or “white.” But because of a society filled with magazines, super models and stereotypes, it’s easy to lose sight of that. Secluded, pushed away and punished, Joe Schwartz lived most of his adolescent life alone, like many others, due to his sexual orientation. From reading his life story, a new perspective can be seen.

Growing up gay during adolescence, a time when a sense of self is being developed, realization of who you truly are, is often not possible for young gay men. Being different, not seeing yourself in characters on television or in books, or knowing a gay couple living in a long-term relationship deepens your doubts of being accepted by your family or friends for who you are on the inside. Hiding feelings of attraction toward other males while trying to cope with male hormones is a challenge. Frequently the choice made is trying to fit in, run with the other boys, pretend you are interested in the opposite sex, and measure up to society’s hyper-masculine ideal. Feeling awkward in a life that feels foreign to

One day I realized that I would pay attention to and have crushes on the female characters in tv shows more than the males. I already knew what being gay was and how my family talked about people who didn't sexually identify as heterosexual, so I tried to hide it and I tried to get rid of my tendency to prefer females. I would be hurt and smile through whenever my parents would joke about gay people and call them names without knowing they were hurting someone they cared about.

How I became a queer heterosexual. It begins in Angola where I spent most of my life till I was fourteen years old. There I developed a flexible conception of gender and an openness to others ' sexual orientation but held on to binaries of male and female, hetero and homossexual. The bulk of my story focuses on a three year period spent in Brazil where I was immersed in a queer milieu. There I learned a great deal about further possibilities for sexual and gendered identity that went beyond rigid binaries. Much of this learning occurred in queer territory and led to my alignment with that identity yet my initial inability to claim such a title. I close with my experiences after leaving Brazil and my eventual coming out as a queer heterosexual. Though this account follows a linear path through time, I know my development to be complex, unpredictable and not fully reproduceable. The story of how I came to claim the identity of a queer heterosexual, with its neatly fitted details.

Sometimes the feelings of one or more of the various forms of attraction to someone of the same sex appear with sexual experience and encounters that one may have, but most commonly these feelings emerge without any previous sexual experience and this fact leads us to believe that being gay is most-likely not a choice (“Sexual Orientation and homosexuality” 1). The question, “How did you know you’re gay?” will typically result in the same answer every time, “I just know.” However, when an LGBT person is asking this question they can turn it around and ask the same question to someone who straight, “How did you know you were straight?” As a result, it is shown that being gay is like any other characteristics and is something that goes unanswered as to why it is the way it is.

The topic of homosexuality has become a constant issue throughout our society for many years. Many people believe that being gay is not acceptable for both religious and moral reasons. Because being gay is not accepted, many homosexuals may feel shame or guilt because of the way they live their everyday lives. This in turn can affect how the person chooses to live their life and it can also affect who the person would like to become. Growing up, David Sedaris struggled to find the common ground between being gay as well as being a normal teenager. He often resorted to the conclusion that you could not be both. Sedaris allows us to see things through his young eyes with his personable short story "I Like Guys". Throughout

Once I began high school, I began noticing little things that didn’t seem quite right. Most of them centered on the fact that I seemed to find guys more attractive than girls. Ashamed of myself, I pushed these feelings to the furthest reaches of my mind. Boys had girlfriends; girls had boyfriends. It was the way things were meant to be; anything else was wrong and perverse. Despite constant self-reassurance that I was straight, I never really convinced myself.

As we have seen, the most pressing option for a young person who experiences same-sex attraction is to form a gay identity. This is the most compelling way that our culture today support. Yarhouse (2010) observed that the gay script includes:

A question, commonly asked of towards, and among the gay community. Every day they meet the unanswerable. In our modern-day society being gay is almost classed as ‘normal’. There is almost always a pride day, a new category for people to identify under. But, should it be this way? Shouldn’t we all just identify as human beings and Gay or not, there is no need for the constant march in fight for gay rights. Wanting to be who you are shouldn’t have to be fought for this long. For instance, do we fight to be straight? Do others fight to be A-sexual? The answer is no. Because since the beginning of time that has been portrayed as right Man and Woman, or – nothing.

I sat in my bed, my hands shakily holding my phone. I had stared at the number, wanting to press call for what seemed like an eternity. After finally pressing the call button I felt a wave of relief. But as soon as I heard the voice of my best friend and a muffled greeting from the other side, it felt as if my lungs were tightening, preventing me from speaking. She asked me if something was wrong, but the only thing that managed to escape me were the heavy sobs that I had been holding in for months. I knew she would love me no matter what, but I wasn’t sure if I could love myself. The tears continued to roll down my red, splotchy cheeks as she attempted to guess what was making me so inconsolably upset. When she finally asked, “Are you gay?”

My entire life, I’ve known that there was something a little different about me. The way that my classmates interacted with each other was always strange to me. Valentine’s Day didn’t make sense and watching Disney movies where the princess always gets her prince just didn’t feel right. I tried to think like my male classmates and feign feelings for girls. It was not until middle school when I finally began to understand exactly why I was so different. I’m gay. And this scared me.

I’m gay. These two simple words have completely changed my life. The impact on my life has been major but it has not always been positive. Handling your sexuality is a subjective and unique process for an individual. If I wasn’t gay my life would be different and I would be headed in a different direction. I would never have to hide who I truly am, I would never have to deal with nights alone crying, and I would never look at colleges far away because of it. Life would definitely be different but I am convinced that I would not trade it for anything – no matter how hard it is.

This semester, I have been able to strongly grasp my queer identity, feeling more comfortable in my own skin, by accepting who I am and sharing it with others—the people I love and who are important in my life. For sure my queer identity is the least explored brick out of the whole construction of myself. And maybe because it is an identity I cannot explore without other(s). I think that I can certainly speak about how I feel attracted to people of the same sex as mine. However, I certainly think that if I do not love someone back, how could I be sure of my queer identity? So I experienced a tidbit of love and a much-too-soon heartbreak, but it made me realize that, indeed, I am queer; I am proud.

Growing up everyone is told that they are unique. “Be yourself,” “use your God-given talent,” and other expressions such as these impress the aforementioned narrative into our minds. Thus, when I was around thirteen years old, I thought my sexuality was just a part of me that only I had. I wanted to share this feature about myself; I wanted to take pride in it and show it off. Coming out to a close few friends showed positive and emotional responses. Riding on this high, I was ready to embrace myself in high school. Yet, my naivety took the best of me as I was going to an all male, religious high school. My sexuality has provided me with experiences that have and will continue to shape my life. These struggles, whether they are internal or external, have provided me with invaluable skills.

Throughout today’s society, there are multiple views and opinions on whether or not there are more than two genders or if gender is even just a social construct. Each person has their own individual preference on how they express their gender. Therefore, we can no longer assume what someone identifies as just by looking at them. Over the years I have learned more about gender expression and gender identity as I gained friends who were homosexual as well as transgender. I feel as if I was introduced to all of these ways of life at a young age, therefore I can, in some ways, teach those who are uneducated and do not know what to think. I have personally never really thought about the different gender identities I could label myself as but as of right now I identify as a cisgender female