Death's Own Naivete Research Paper

“Mommy, when will I die?” I can still hear my 4-year old’s little voice asking me this question from the backseat as I am driving. How do I answer her? Do I tell her the truth? Do I lie to her? How do I explain death to a 4-year-old? For her, this question was out of curiosity not fear. For me, this was the most gut wrenching question I had ever been asked. Holding back tears, I gave her the best answer that I knew at the time. “Everyone dies sweetie. Nobody knows exactly when they are going to die. Sometimes it just happens when you least expect it. We all hope to be here for a really long time. And there will always be

It is obvious that the movie My Girl illustrates several aspects of the cognitive and emotional development of children’s understanding of death. Although Vada seems to have a fairly clear understanding of the inevitability and unpredictability of death, she has some difficulty with its all-inclusiveness in that, although she is quite preoccupied with her own death, with her constant visits to the doctor reporting various fatal diseases, she does not seem to be concerned about the possible death of those close to her. This is consistent with the finding that “most children understand their own personal mortality before they understand that all people die” (p. 17, Corr & Corr, 1996). This is so despite her extensive experience with death while living in a funeral parlour.

Young children are often impacted by the experiences that they have at that time. When the misfortune of losing their father occurs, the children are hit the hardest. Between the complex understanding of death and religion at the same time, they seem to be, at the very least, confused. Their mother being the strict Catholic she is, trying too hard to kill two birds with one stone, she tries to tie religion and death in one lesson, which neither of them understand, “...when you get old, you can be sick and not get well again. And if you can’t get well again, then God lets you go to sleep and you can’t see people any more” (54).

Life has many lessons in store for us. Often times, one of the most terrifying and traumatic lessons a child can learn really has nothing to do with life--but rather, death. Unfortunately, it is a lesson that we all must encounter at some point. No matter the age or circumstance, it is hard to understand how something so dark and mystical can impact our lives so much. It is even harder to cope with the loss of a loved one and to come to terms with knowledge that each day we live, we become one closer to dying.

Imagine coming home from middle school to your grandmother house on your mother’s side to find it unusually quiet and everyone with tears in their eyes. Imagine being told your father had a routine surgery but nothing was routine about the results. Imagine having thanksgiving dinner with your family and the phone rings then you hear a loud scream and feet running towards you to let you know your father has died. Imagine going to school the following weeks and hearing jokes that your dad died because “the turkey was dry”, “He choked on a chicken bone”, and “He wanted to leave your mom”. I did not have to imagine because it became my reality at the age of 13.

There is huge difference between Death and Dying. Death is the end of life, while dying is the process in which you death, also including the choices and actions involved in that process. In “On the Fear of Death,” by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross she describes the different aspects of dying, the final days of individuals who are terminally ill, the grieving process, and how children are treated during the time of death. The dissimilitude in “old-fashioned” death and “modern” final days are presented. Sometimes one has to consider the circumstances surrounding the end of life.

Throughout my many years of living, I have experienced many near death experiences. Today, I will be sharing one of these experiences that I have been through. First of all, it was the March 23, 2012. It was a Friday. I, young Daryl, was still learning his basic math with a bowl cut on his head at the age of 11. School ended. My sister Gerryl and I were just picked up around 3:20 p.m. and arrived home approximately at 3:25 p.m. My sister Gerryl suggested with eagerness, “Mom, Dad are we able to watch that new movie that just came out today, The Hunger Games?” My father, then replied, “Sure, let me just get my computer and reserve the movie for the four of us.” The time was then reserved at 4:30 p.m. in the afternoon. We

Death is inescapable. Praise God for the life he has blessed his children with. In Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ novel “On Death & Dying” she effectively explains the dying process in five steps: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The impact of her novel, if given the chance, on the medical field would be tremendous in the attempt of allowing individuals to die with their dignity while also remaining in peace throughout the majority of the process. In reality a funeral should not consist of mourning over what is lost. A funeral should be a celebration of the life the individual was blessed with and the impact they had on the people around them. Truly in the end, death is a blessing to those that believe and a frightening silence to the many that do

Death is going to happen to all living creature regardless of anything else. Death is a natural process and it out of the control of humanity. The final and fourth factor, causality, is where casual relationships are often misunderstood because children do not realize the depth of things caused by natural factors such as death (Shortle et al., 1993). For example, the death of a pet, could lead the child feeling guilty and remorseful when they actually had nothing to do with the cause of death (Kaufman & Kaufman, 2006).

Children do not understand death in the same manner as adults. Adults understand death as a natural part of the cyclical nature of life, but children cannot grasp this. There are four subconcepts which create this difference between adult and child: irreversibility, finality or non-functionality, causality, and inevitability (Bonoto 2013, page 48).

Death and dying is a normal part of life; however, in the recent past it has become a remote process and is often viewed as something unnatural that should be feared; it is “an unwelcome visitor” (Callanan & Kelly, 2012, p. 37). John is an eight-year-old who is terminal due to an inoperable liver tumor. His parents are having a difficult time accepting that John’s illness is incurable. John’s grandmother died two years ago, but John tries to tell his parents that he will see her soon. John’s parents do not take his conversation seriously. Furthermore, they do not allow any discussions regarding John’s prognosis and have limited the amount of staff that is allowed into his room.

This book is very straightforward about death and how children can view it. Its makes mention that “In books and movies, often times the bad people die, but in real life good people die too. It explains that some people die of different things like old, sick and unexpected. Also, explaining what death means, it means when someone or something stops breathing, and their heart stops beating. They cannot eat, drink or think anymore. After the person dies usually there’s a ceremony called a funeral, where friends and family can talk about the person that has died. Also, it goes further what happens after the funeral and how you might feel about the person who died. Sad, Regretful, Angry?. Regardless, of how you feel you didn’t cause that person

I’d never given much thought to my mortality. Sure, it had crossed my mind on rare occasions when I heard a tragic news story involving a young victim. I have never had such a moment of clarity though, where I saw myself as the real victim. What if I had been hit head on? What if I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt? What if I had died just like that? One moment driving, talking to my mom and the next I’m gone forever.

As a child, I was always a thinker, never quick to believe what others say. When my parents reminded me of my Jewish faith, I was always skeptical as to why I had to blindly follow something. As I got older, bigger and even more morbid questions came to mind. The thoughts of death and the concept of it always made me curious, especially with the news of one of my closest teacher’s diagnosis of ALS. Since Mr. Coleman had to retire due to the disease taking over, I often had talks with him of what he expected.

In order to understand me, or the moment in which I learned that I was meant to be here, I have to show my past trials, my pain. A little over a year ago, I lost my mother due to ovarian cancer. A few months after that, I lost my cousin’s husband due to suicide on October 17, 2016. Then I lost my neighbors Michael Woodard, his father Lewis Woodard, then his mother, Bobbie Woodard, who passed away on August 29, 2017. I used to go over to their house almost every day after school, sometimes they would help me with my homework. And my teacher Mrs. Erwin, on September 12, 2017, due to a heart attack. Death is a part of our existence, a part of our lives. For some people it happens all at once, for others it is spaced out over their lifetime. There have been many times in my life when I should have died—some due to my own hand, others not so much. I was born on September 23, 1999, at seven-thirty a.m. I was due to be born somewhere around the sixteenth of December, that year, I was born three months before I was supposed to; I wasn’t supposed to live past that day. When I was born, I weighed two pounds, ten and half ounces. My father was the first one to hold me, his hand covered my entire body as I layed on his chest. I have always been a fighter; I am a survivor. From what I was told, when I was little, my dad’s girlfriend was giving me a bath when I fell over and started choking on the water, as she was on the phone with my mom. Another time, I was locked in a hot car,