The two things that I will compare and contrast are two time periods in my life. The first time period will be my 7th grade year to my 10th grade year, this would be a short time from middle to high school. The second time period that I will be comparing and contrasting to that will be from my 11th grade year till now. My 7th grade year to my 10th grade years of schooling, I was not in the best mental state. I felt very alone and I had several insecurities about myself, and I would take that out on myself. Self harm was the only result I saw at that time to relieve all the emotions I felt. It was overwhelming for me at that time. I would starve myself and not eat for a day or two. The crazy part was in 8th grade, I was only 80 pounds! I don't know why I would think like that. I went to counseling for it but that did not help at all. Many people that were close to me did not understand why I would do this to myself, which I didn't expect them to because they were one of the reasons. Also during my 10th grade year, I met someone who hurt me in a big way …show more content…
Once I removed myself from one BIG issue that was the cause of 95.5% of all of my problems, In a way I found a peace of mind. No, I am not 100% okay and I doubt I will be but it is better than before. In conclusion I do still have and experience some things that I went through my 7th grade to 10th grade years. Yet I still see growth as person for myself, some people may not see much from reading or hearing about everything when I talk about things like this but as long as I see growth in myself I think that is the most important. I can not stress enough when I stated that when I was able to remove myself from the main source of what was wrong, it helped so much. I think that these two different times in my life say a lot about me and I am not
sports, music, and other organizations). However, my senior year, a combination of stress and family turmoil pushed me into a place I’d never been before. I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and my whole life seemed to start falling apart, but I didn’t know how to fix it and pick up the pieces. I constantly felt overwhelmed by everything. I was easily discouraged by difficult assignments, I had no self-confidence, and I had no will to be social or be involved in everything I once cared so much about. I slowly isolated myself as much as I could, and all of my friends slowly left me alone. The worst feeling I’ve ever had was that I wanted to kill myself. I thought about suicide a lot, and like Eric, I wanted to have a successful suicide. I even almost attempted it once, but I’m too scared of pain. It got to the point to where I’d try to think of all the painless ways one could go, but even then there were uncertainties with each way I contemplated how to die. Much like Eric, here were weeks on end, where all I could think of was how much I wanted to do was be dead and gone from the world. I saw no point in anything I did, what little motivation I had, dissipated away and I was just so unhappy. I don’t remember going more than a day without crying at some point, because I just felt like life was so terrible. I was always the
Sometimes life can feel like it’s suffocating you. You can feel yourself getting pulled down into the abyss. The weight of the world Crushing you and forcing all the air out of your lungs. You can feel alone in the dark water. That is how it feels on the inside. On the outside things are seen so much differently. Some people are seen as happy and smiling while others seem ‘ normal’. However there are some that seem fake. This is how people dealing with self harm feel.
In the past year, a lot has changed for me. I lost a grandfather to cancer, then a month later an uncle to a gruesome semi accident. My grandmother on the other side of the family barely remembers me due to alzheimer's, and my mom lost her job but is now working over 1300 miles away in Florida. If someone would have asked me at the start of my Junior year what I expected to happen, I wouldn’t have listed any of those. As anticipated, it was not easy dealing with a downfall of events like that, but the way I was raised helped me cope with it all. I started out at a small private school, where Religion was just as important as Math and English. How we were to act was drilled into us, and after I switched to public school, there was a noticeable
I still had some family problems involving my brother and some wrong choices but I was more used to it as it was the same thing as the year before and it didn’t really affect me anymore and I just went on with school and sports. I had some problems in the start of the year with science but I slowly got better and raised my grade to a proficient. I once again played many sports and balanced my grades to the best of my ability, really only having trouble in music class. I got through 7th grade much easier than I did in 6th and enjoyed it way more. Sports, once again didn’t go too good on the team side of things, but my skill and playing time increased in football, volleyball, and softball. I kept around the same amount of minutes in basketball as years before, starting mostly at SG, sometimes PG, and hardly ever but sometimes playing
There are whole blogs dedicated to it. Communities of people who had joined me in my misery, had fed my self-imposed solitude and my need to harm myself. “Don’t let the food win,” they had said. Others said, “Cutting is fine, it’s a release.” I felt like a failure for having been found out, my shame at being thwarted almost overriding my anger at being locked up. I still couldn’t wrap my head around how fucked up my life had gotten so quickly. Then again, I reminded myself, I had been depressed for as long as I could remember, the high and elation of happiness as far away as the nearest star. It was just as hot and foreign to me as that star, too. This unattainable, inexplicably appealing hot wash of anger rushed through me, boiling up alongside the fear. These people were keeping me here against my will. Who honestly cared if I killed myself? It didn’t matter, I didn’t affect anyone. Everyone would keep on living perfectly fine and normal lives, if not better
In retrospect, I would have never recovered hadn't I taken the first step. No matter how much I struggled, even with the support of my family and teachers, it was through my own actions that I improved. Instead of being content with complacency, I now constantly challenge myself to improve my weaknesses. It was because of this experience that I now see difficulties as opportunities for
“I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain.” (Brody 2008). Picture yourself cooking in your kitchen, and as you grab the knife it slips and slices your wrist. You immediately feel the sharp pain followed by the tingle burning sensation of pine needles and throbbing. This is the sensation to those who self-harm themselves yearn to feel, they purposely harm themselves to feel a release. By hurting oneself this is not for attention. Self-harm is an addiction and a disease that has multiple causes; self-harm is a developing problem that is needed to be discussed. Self-harm can be stated in various terms such as self-injury, self-mutilation (SM), cutting, and Non-Suicidal Self-Injury
Self harm is becoming a bigger and bigger issue for teens and adolescents each day. Studies show that 2 to 3 million American teens in some way or form endeavor to hurt themselves each year. There are many reasons why most teens decide to harm themselves, but there was one reason that stuck out. In an article titled “Teens Who Self-harm” Written by Marie Hartwell-Walker, it stated that some teens who harm themselves are generally not looking for a way to end their lives, but they are looking for a way to end emotional pain.
That was when I finally asked for help. It took a while with help and support from friends and family to overcome my struggles, but eventually I was able to heal and love myself. Once I was able to move forward with my life, I was able to concentrate on my studies and got good grades. However, something felt missing in my life while I continued my studies to become a psychologist.
During that time, I struggled in all my classes as evidence by my grades and befriended one person who soon quit college. When I returned to my hometown, I lost connection with most of my friends, and to my family and past teachers, I felt like a failure because I was failing at the societal expectation of perfection. However, the more I thought about my shortcomings, the more I began realizing that this was my problem. The world expected perfection, and no one could ever be that but failing be so was causing me unnecessary stress. This realization was my first step towards coping because it provoked me to adopt a more realistic perspective. I began accepting my shortcomings, and dedicated less time worrying about them and more time toward realistically improving
From the first day I entered my new middle school, I knew that my life was about to change forever. The countless modifications, some good and some bad, were about to mold me into what I would become at the end of 8th grade. Getting more involved with my community, becoming more athletic, and being kinder are just a few of the things that I think that I have improved upon. I have also gained some not-so-good qualities, which include biting my nails, not being as smart, and lying to myself about many things. Overall though, I think that I have made tremendous progress and have blossomed into a great student who is ready for high school.
Fortunately I kept with it and was able to leave feeling confident that many of the problems I came in with where no longer a problem. While there I learned many of the social skills that I had never knew as a child, as well as ways to cope with anger. These skills would become handy once I had started interacting with society again. I went from being in a special needs classroom to full time normal classes. And from there I decided that it would be good for me to join one of my first sports teams in order to gain some new friends. However my parents were quite hesitant due to my past with violent outbursts however they believed the pros outweighed the cons and allowed me to sign up. Personally I believe at this point in my life was a turning point for me. For the first time in my life I was able to have friends and be accepted for who I was. Even with my past being what it was, I was still able to blend back into society and be a normal kid for once in my life. From there I went onto winning the most improved award from my coaches. Due to the good experiences of playing my first year of football I continued on my path all the way through highshool. Once in high school me and my team made it to the state finals 3 years in a row on the 3rd try we won the state
When I think about an event that sticks out in my mind as one that was very important in my life, I think about changing schools in the seventh grade. About halfway through my middle school career, I became very unhappy at my school and with life in general. Upon discussing with my parents, we made the decision that I would switch schools and embark on a new journey in hopes to appease my unhappy soul. At first, I felt as if a new school would not help; little did I know what a profound change it would have on my life.
My life flipped for the better once I left the 8th grade, it was finally summer time and I was ready for it. But deep down I knew once summer was over high school here I come. I won't even lie, I was terrified to start as a freshman in high school. All of the rumors that I heard with baby freshman day, and all the stuff they do to freshmens on the first day of school. To be honest I was really nervous, instead of a couple butterflies in my stomach I had the whole family flying around. But once the first day of high school came up all those rumors that everyone was telling me was actually a lie. High school wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. As my freshman year went on a lot of doors opened up for me, there were sports, clubs, new people to me, everything you could possible think of. I didn't really get into sports as much as all of my friends, I was more into video games and playing outside in the woods just adventuring finding old vintage things and old buildings and all of the beautiful views. My freshman year wasn't really too special, I was too busy figuring out what everything was and where everything was located at. Then my sophomore year came along this is where I started to get the foundation of high school and blend in. everything kinda went downhill I made good grades don't get wrong, it's just I never showed up which I regret miserably. Once I got to my junior year everything is still constantly changing, a lot more people know of me. I was never
Life before graduation was a struggle for me. I lived in a home that seemed to bring me nothing but pain and anger. I watched someone close to me die little by little every day. I did not live a normal childhood because I was a