Causes of Bad Relationship
A bad relationship may develop without your notice. In the film ‘Someone Like You’, the most obvious example is the relationship between Ray and Jane. The breakdown is not a sudden effect, but a gradual development.
It all starts with the imbalance of giving. According to Cher Carter-Scott, dangers arises when one person gives too little in a relationship. In the movie, Jane invests everything, including her heart, body (sex) and future life (cohabitation). However, Ray is the opposite. All he can give is the short-term excitement and passion. As Robert Solomon suggested, their desire mismatch leads to coordination problem.
Their love-at-first-sight relationship also lacks a strong foundation to overcome challenges. Applying Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, Ray and Jane’s form of love is Romantic Love (intimacy + passion). In their first meeting, they feel attracted to one another. Eventually intimacy grows and they start dating. The process is filled with passion. However, Ray is not ready for commitment. He never has a clear cut with Diane. Jane feels unsafe and uncertain as the triangular relationship continues. The bond between Ray and Jane gets weaker day by day, such that any quarrels can break it easily.
The key to further worsen the relationship is poor communication. Taking the case of cohabitation
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Before Eddie and Jane turn into a couple, both of them are still suffering from their previous love experience to a certain extent. Eddie acts as a playboy and sleeps around with girls for comfort. Jane condemns all men and refuses to love again. On the surface, they seem okay. But in fact, their life is not perfectly rebuilt yet. Scars remain and that hurts. A new partner acts as a support to heal the wounds of one another. When both Eddie and Jane realize their feelings and get together, they can finally enjoy their lives with
their lives that caused their relationship to be disastrous. Without these influences in their lives,
A lack of communication between two people that occurs for a long period of time will most likely result in a huge confrontation or a complete separation of the relationship. Developing effective communication is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship (Alberts 202). Feeling like one person does more than the other can lead to unnecessary arguments if one feels the other isn’t portraying active participation in the relationship enhancement. Another theory that comes to mind is Equity theory which argues that rather than focusing purely on rewards and costs, people are more interested in achieving fairness (Alberts 194). This theory helps explain that both people who are under benefitted and those who are over benefitted may feel dissatisfied with their relationship (Alberts 195). To better explain under benefitted, an example would be when Brooke felt as though she was being taken granted when she screamed, “I worked hard all day cleaning, then cooking the meal and worked all day long, it would be nice if you said thank you and helped me with the dishes.”
In his 2001 film entitled Lantana, director Ray Lawrence provides a dramatic look into the consequences of jealousy and infidelity in relationships. The film focuses primarily on two couples, Leon and Sonja, and John and Valerie, whose relationships are both seemingly in the midst of their own downward spirals. As the story unfolds and the issues affecting each of these relationships are uncovered, the film paints a vivid picture of the different ways that such themes can quickly bring ruin to relationships, and, in the case of some of the film’s characters, lives.
Throughout the novel, Eddie also can be exemplified as a sympathetic character. sympathetic characters are when readers feel sympathy for throughout a story. The reader can feel empathy for Eddie, when the author describes the pain of Eddie’s gunshot wound. The pain was described to be unbearable and the description of the event of the gunshot pains a morbid picture in the reader’s mind. During Eddie’s time as a soldier in World War II, any reader can feel an astonishing amount of sympathy for Eddie. During, Eddie’s time as a soldier, he experienced, “A piercing pain ripped through Eddie's leg. He screamed a long, hard curse then crumbled to the ground. Blood was spewing below his knee. Plane engines roared. The skies lit in bluish flashes. He lay there, bleeding and burning, his eyes shut against the searing heat, and for the first time in his life, he felt ready to die,” (Albom 84). The reader can comprehend Eddies suffering and pain. Eddie was on the ground, in a war zone hurt and slowly dying. Readers can feel a lot of sympathy for when Eddie wanted to let go of the world and die. Before Eddie’s death, he ran under a falling amusement park ride to save a little girl, Eddie
According to Knapp’s model of Relational Development, he described the stages in which a relationship goes within the make up and break up steps of coming together and coming apart. This blog will discuss each stage with examples.
Every relationship is not the best relationship because sometimes it is like your trapped and isolated so that makes it harder to adjust and bond. In the story “ The Story Of An Hour” Mrs. Mallard was in an overbearing relationship to where she felt trapped. However, her luck would soon change when she gets terrible news about her husband’s death. Meanwhile, the freedom that she thinks she has at that moment will soon be no more because her husband will not be dead. Furthermore, she will soon lose it once the news is broken to her about Mr. Mallard’s status of health. However, just from that, she will begin losing her sanity and herself all at once. And in the end, will die of a joy that kills or sadness that kills. This relationship can be good or bad because it is not always what the spouse wants (Chopin 720) “The Story Of An Hour” relationships are not for everyone simply because it is a commitment until death and some people aren’t as committed.
This analysis will provide an in-depth look into Dean and Cindy’s troubled relationship and how it was perhaps destined to fail and be unsatisfactory from the beginning. Since they married young because of the pregnancy, they did not have a chance to fully engage with each other. While all three components of Sternberg’s Triangular theory were present, they weaned quickly. Their verbal communication was not the most effective and later on was one of the major breaking points of their relationship.
The tension is diffused but the triangle also has the potential to make ‘an odd man out.’ Bowen states ‘emotional forces within the triangle are constantly in motion’ as the triangle moves back and forth between dyads with one person as the outsider.
The third concept we choose to write on is Terminating. According to the book Looking Out Looking In, terminating is the stage where relationships deteriorate until they reach their final stage. Not all relationships end, many of the marriages last for a lifetime, but other relationships have the desire to dissociate. (Alder, 2012) Like it was the case of the movie, Brooke decides to terminate the relationship because she felt that there is nothing much left. She believed that Gary did care much about her. But the problem really was that both of them didn’t find a way to communicate effectively. Although Brooke and Gary loved each other very much it was impossible for them to be together because of the lack of communication.
As we have seen in Rose's counseling session, past relational patterns are elicited from exploration of the patients' past and early relationships. Key themes are: the degree of love and care (emotional warmth) they experienced in early life; the degree of neglect and abuse; and the types and qualities of core conflicts. In Rose's case, the key issue, as Dr. Berenson discovers over the course of the interview is the subtle manipulation of a mother by her child. She tests her and puts her through a lot of stress, to see how she responds; in this case losing sleep and stressing over the situation.
Gilbert and Becky were initially physically and sexually attracted to one another, and sharing several kisses as their attraction grew for one another, this portion of their relationship representing passion. Gilbert became intimate with Becky by sharing deep thoughts about his father’s suicide and his struggle to take care of family members. Prior to meeting Becky, he did not share thoughts about his familial issues, though they impacted his life in many ways. Becky also opened up to Gilbert about her parent’s divorce and goals. As their intimacy grew, they became comfortable with one another and developed a mutual understanding of commitment. They were committed in the short term through Gilbert asking Becky to come to Arnie’s 18th birthday party, and Becky committing to this request, depicting loyalty within the relationship. Another sign of short term commitment within their relationship was Gilbert introducing Becky to his mother. If he did not have strong feelings for Becky, he likely may have not introduced them to one another. In the long term, Gilbert and Becky eventually stay together and travel with one another, illustrating their love did not end after Gilbert’s mother’s death (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?). Sternberg’s triangular theory of love (as cited by Seccombe, 2012) solidly represents three
But where the story began to take a turn was when Marla, the woman that he met in the support groups, called and stated she was in the process of committing suicide. He pretty much blew her off when Tyler took the initiative to go to her apartment where he becomes her coping mechanism by using sex. But while the narrator (Edward) thinks that he is having some sort of nightmare not understanding it is actual reality. Then noticing the tension between the two the narrator states that they Marla and Tyler remind him of his parent because he never sees them in the same place at once. The only time that they spent in the same room was during sexual intercourse. He narrator was jealous because of the way he felt for Marla, but just too afraid to express it because she was already sleeping with Tyler. This is why the tension was so high.
Just as self concept seemed a vicious circle, where this affects that and that effects this; relational development is the same. Relational development can alter our lives and our communication, while communication issues can alter our relational development and our lives. The relational perspective is a pragmatic one and focuses on the continuance of communication processes through relationships. (Rogers, 2004.) Relationships go through a series of stages. The initial and first encounter to a relationship is called the initiating stage. While in this stage, two people attempt to create favorably impressionable first impressions. In this stage you will look for cues about the other person’s personality, attitude, beliefs, and values so that you can progress the relationship. If the relationship continues and impressions are favorable than the two people move to the second stage, also known as the experimenting stage. In this stage people reveal themselves further but not completely since the stage is still a precarious one. If a common ground and understanding of each other is obtained then the relationship moves to the next stage, the intensifying stage. In this stage shared experiences becomes common and self disclosure is open. The next stage is the integrating stage, this is where the individuals usually become a couple. They have shared interests and attitudes, and sometimes talk or act alike. The other individual becomes like your other half. If things go awry than relationships often shift to the circumscribing stage. This is when couples start to self disclose less and less to the other person. Then comes the stagnating stage. At this point there is no communication and no activity between the two people. Sometimes there is an
The second half of the relational model is called the “coming apart” stages, which consists of: differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and lastly terminating. During the differentiating stage the relationship will start to be more individual, it will start to fade and the bond will be broken. After that comes the circumscribing stage during which the individuals won’t communicate because of the fear of starting an argument. The stage where relationships never improve or continue is called stagnating. After this point the individuals enter the avoiding stage, where the avoid any physical contact
Lack of communication can have a domino effect of problems, starting off with partners being distant and