What Does “Marzipan” Argue About Genders People deal with loss and grief differently. However, such behavioral patterns could differ between different gender groups as their collective norms and values may differ. As dealing with loss and grief is an inevitable part of our experience, we must acknowledge those differences and learn to work with our partners in life. In the short story “Marzipan” the author Aimee Bender examines the roles loss and grief played in the two genders. While loss and grief usually cause passive and incommunicable emotions among men, women opt for disguising their emotions. Those stereotypical views about gender distinction, are supported and enforced by the traditional family structure reconstructed by the …show more content…
The young sisters, who know little about their father’s suffering, make fun of the hole without knowing the consequence of their action. The father is unable to intervene on his daughters’ behalf, as he sits there “face paled.” (40), till the mother orders the children to keep quiet. Apparently, his role in the family structure prevents him from expressing his emotion directly to his children. Nevertheless, after a visit to the doctor, it turns out that the father’s internal organs are intact despite their state of severe deformation, which shows the father’s incredible determination to remain functional in his family role after his tragic loss. Ironically, the doctors “pronounced him in great health” (41), which implies that apparent defects in mental health could be suppressed by the father’s unwillingness to challenge his image as a man, thus they are not easily detectable. The father’s behavioral patterns after his father’s death are in accordance to many stereotypical views of men. However, the father does not display masculine traits at the time of the funeral, where man behaviors such as weeping become appropriate. Aimee inserts the description of this event in the middle of the story in order to contrast stereotypical views of man with real human emotions a man may have. After the funeral, when the narrator asks the father about his experience, the father says “I cried” (45) and described the event as “very sad” (46). The father
The first passage reveals the parallel suffering occurring in the lives of different members of the family, which emphasizes the echoes between the sufferings of the father and the narrator. The narrator’s father’s despair over having watched
Bragg’s dejected tone when addressing his father’s latest demeanor is satirical as the Father’s past behavior is anything but celebratory. The author’s conscious decision to compare his memories of the Father to that of a “man” and a “monster” depicts the two emotions Bragg intended to invoke from his readers through the use of tone: contentment and fear. He wanted his readers to share his contentment with his father’s past demeanor, though distressing. In contrast, Bragg hoped his readers share his fear of his father’s past demeanor, despite his innate urge
It would seem that this man was a failure as a father. This passage, coming from the father’s son, would undoubtedly have experienced this first-hand. While using words such as “us” and “our,” Baldwin evokes an image of the pain him and his siblings went through. His presence was enough to paralyze a child when trying to help it with homework. When trying to comfort a child by playing with it, he only vexed the child further, causing it to cry. Baldwin depicts
In the story the author portrays the protagonist differently from the other characters because she talks about the physical appearance of other characters and when it comes to the narrator we have no idea what she looks like but she is developed partially through her relationship with other characters, although we the readers do come the find out that the narrator is around the age of 15-17 years old and we can assume that she has a bad relationship with her parents because first of all she talks about them maybe once or twice in the whole story and second of all we know that they sent her to boarding school so that alone proves that her relationship with them is lacking. As readers we also know that she has trouble opening up in the story she say “To open your heart. You open your legs but can’t, or don’t dare anyone, to open your heart” (237). This is a prime example of how author characterizes the protagonist as broken and emotionally damaged. And as the story progress the author becomes more honest with us the readers and herself, she starts the reveal the pain she is in and how lonely she feels. The narrator gives us an example of how she feels after sex by saying “After sex, you curl up like a shrimp, something deep inside you ruined, slammed in a place that sickness at
When Kevin sees his father almost dying, he begins to think of the fatherless children in the world. He extends grace towards fathers in general by thinking how important a role they play in a child’s life, regardless of the mistakes that they might make. After thinking about fathers in general, he then thinks about his own father and as Bailey puts it, “ The caring-the carefulness-which was the belief in holding on to something worth preserving and passing on. Love. Kevin felt the tide of emotion that had been at its lowest ebb flowing back into him again. He looked to his Dad”. (259-260). Instead of remaining angry at his Dad for previous conflicts or for accidentally shooting his brother, Kevin extends grace to his Dad when he chooses instead to think and remember about all the love and caring his father has ever shown him. When he begins to feel that love for his father, his emotions pick up and that gives him the grace to keep on going without emotionally breaking down.
Society and culture have created scripts (i.e., social norms) that dictate the ways in which we are to grieve. These scripts also prescribe the unique ways in which men and women are expected to respond to grief. Specifically, men’s grief scripts suggest that men will resolve to grieve in solitude as a demonstration of their self-reliance. Men may also have muted emotional response and expressed emotions are typically in the form of anger or guilt (Martin & Doka, 2011). Comparatively, women’s grief scripts suggest that women are more emotive and seek support from others to help cope with loss (Martin & Doka, 2011).
Godelieva De Troyer was a depressed woman who felt gray almost all the time. When she would feel sad she would write. She would write about things to remind herself of all the activities she could do to feel happy. Being very aware of her depression, she had been in therapy starting at nineteen years old. Her parents played a very large role in her depression. She wrote, “I am confronted almost daily with the consequences of my childhood.” Being afraid of replicating her parent’s mistakes onto her own children, she married young and had two children. The marriage ended in a divorce, and the father committed suicide while the children were at a young age. She later told a psychologist that her children were “now paying for all that has happened generations earlier.” While still feeling depressed in her early fifties, something new had happened to make her feel happy again. She had a new boyfriend. She described her boyfriend to her new psychiatrist as, “He opens the wound completely, cleans it thoroughly and closes it so it can heal.” While her boyfriend made her feel happy she had gained a granddaughter after her son, Tom, had married. She tried being an attentive grandmother. Later on, her boyfriend broke up with her and she fell into dark depression again. She was not present for Toms second child, and blamed the family for not understanding her feelings. Godelieva discovered a new doctor by the name of Wim Distelman. There was a law in Belgium that permits euthanasia for patients who have an incurable illness. Distelman had euthanized over one hundred patients at this time. Later, after Godelieva discovered Distelman, an email was sent out to her children letting them know that a request had been sent out to allow her to be euthanized. Both children did not take this email very seriously. It appears the email was brushed off. Of course, the children worried about their mother, but certain measures could have been taken further. Instead being overall
For a long time, men and women have been dealing with the controversy of gender roles. In modern day, the battle for gender equality has been more known. In the story “Guys Suffer from Oppressive Gender Roles Too”, the author Julie Zeilinger explains how males are held to a more macho standard, but do have prevalent emotions. If we were to let go of these rigid rules about what is manly, there would be no standard for any gender. If that was reality, men shouldn’t have to feel humiliated about staying home, and if their companion makes more money than they do. Zeilinger talks about how males detach themselves from some emotions, and live a “life nub to a true range of human emotion” so they can meet this masculinity standard. However if males
Women are taught from a young age that marriage is the end all be all in happiness, in the short story “The Story of An Hour” by Kate Chopin and the drama “Poof!” by Lynn Nottage, we learn that it is not always the case. Mrs. Mallard from “The Story of an Hour” and Loureen from “Poof!” are different characteristically, story-wise, and time-wise, but share a similar plight. Two women tied down to men whom they no longer love and a life they no longer feel is theirs. Unlike widows in happy marriages Loureen and Mrs., Mallard discover newfound freedom in their respective husband’s deaths. Both stories explore stereotypical housewives who serve their husbands with un-stereotypical reactions to their husband’s deaths.
Father Cry was a heart-felt narration told by Billy Wilson. His story focuses on the absence of fathers and reflects on an era that is shouting out for the actual presents of fathers and mothers. It helps the readers recognize the need for parents and how that role is crucial in the development of human life. The book depicts how Christians need to venture up as otherworldly moms and fathers to the cutting edge. However, I was profoundly moved even from the first section as I read about the 'crying era', and as I kept on understanding I discovered new disclosure of God's adoration even in my own life. Sympathy was mixed in my heart, and as my heart broke for the broken era I discovered myself needing to share God's affection to the individuals
The ability of the father to carry on with life after his son's death is one part of the stereotype that pertains to the male figure. The male character is suppose to be someone who does not cry, someone who is full of inner strength and is the central rock for all those around him in a time of crisis. The husband in "Home Burial" fulfills these requirements. After the burial, he continues on with his daily chores and attends to the various needs of the farm. These actions are not ones of denial but acceptance. He knows that he and his wife must carry on with their lives after an appropriate period of mourning is over. Understandably, his vision of the length of that time period is considerably shorter than his wife's. He understands that life is for the living and not for the dead. He understands that his son is dead. He also understands that he cannot force these views on his wife, because she must come to her own conclusions and find her own closure to her son's death.
Many people define their lives by the relationships within their family. They are someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, or someone’s mother or father. The loss of a family member, especially due to death, creates a radical readjustment to people’s day to day lives and how they see and feel about themselves. Sometimes the process of grief can last over several years and how it is mentally processed and dealt with is different for everyone. “Mud” by Geoffrey Forsyth, shows an insightful view of a grieving man who had already lost his father and grandmother and is now just coming to terms with the loss of his wife two years prior. The entire story is written in first person point of view which allows for the reader to fully engage themselves in the grief and strife of the narrator’s life. Geoffrey’s story “Mud” begins in the home of the narrator where he encounters these dead family members and has to decide if he is ready to move on from his grief and say goodbye or stay behind and be consumed by it.
Sprinkled throughout the account of Beauvoir`s experience, it is easy to see the many difficulties that occur within the relationships of doctors, health care staff, family and friends. This repertoire offers a profoundly private account of the, anguish, remorse, and frustration that is often associated with the journey of a loved one to his or her demise. The account is simplistic and to the point; with the frank and truthful visualization and rumination one would experience under similar circumstances. There is a moral dilemma initiated at the beginning of Beauvoir’s hospital experience with her mother, which not only includes deception on the part of her and her sister, but dishonesty
Following the loss of a loved person, a person usually begins a period where they grieve over the loss of that person. While grieving, a person usually has a hard time accepting that a beloved person is truly gone. A personal activity is usually apparent during this time, and while this activity is usually connected to the person that they have lose, it helps a person deal with the tragedy that has fallen upon them. This idea is apparent in the stories Kitchen and “Moonlight Shadow”, both of which written by Banana Yoshimoto. Throughout both Kitchen and “Moonlight Shadow”, it is clear that grief is the stage when an individual is in denial over a beloved persons, and while there are a number of different ways in order to cope with the grief, the only way to overcome grief for good is by accepting the fact that the individual who passed away is gone.
In came our father, documents overflowing from his briefcase and his face an astonishing scarlet. The entire family stood in a stunned silence, staring at the flustered man in front of us. My mother was the first to break the silence, and even then she spoke in a timid voice, small and frail like a young deer.