Analysis Of Sex Lies And Conversation

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why it is so Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other

Over seven billion people living on earth we are all diverse in our characteristics. We live in societies made up with laws and don’t have the freedom to exploit another person right. People who disobey laws and misuses another person rights are known as morally sick and selfish. They never bear the shame of their actions and always fails to understand others. While laws only ensure peace in a society, families that makes a society needs better understanding between a husband and a wife. Now with divorce rate that is growing higher by each year, Sociologists and psychologists are pointing many aspects and actions of couple that must be taken into consideration before we expect a happy life. Among them “Mark Karpel”, “Abraham Maslow” and

In the essay, “But What Do You Mean?” author and linguistic expert Deborah Tannen argues her feelings on how men and women vary in their use of conversational “rituals.” She states that males have a tendency to use wording to sustain dominance in conversation; however, women seem to take in to account the feelings of others. Tannen identifies seven categories in which men and women differ in communication. First, women use apologies to assure other people. Men can misapprehend these apologies as taking blame rather than as the ritual reassurance that women mean for it to be perceived. This supports what Tannen says in her essay, “But there are times when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t self-deprecating or even an apology” (Tannen 380). Second, men are more straight-forward when criticizing more than women; women “soften” their criticism with the purpose of sparing the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” ritualistically, most of the time to equate the two in the conversation. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Because of this difference, women are under the impression that they are usually condemned in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise open-heartedly when they are praised. Men, on the other hand, often confuse that not criticizing is praise enough. Sixth, women converse their complications in order to share their experiences; they complain not to solve their

In Deborah Tannen’s article, “But What Do You Mean?” she enumerates seven different ways that women and men tend to have a kind of struggle. Tannen discusses how the men and women have different ways of speaking. The seven main differences are classified and divided into: apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. First, men don’t correctly interpret apologies; they often implicate blame with apology, synonymous with putting oneself down. On the other hand, women apologize to calm other people. Second, criticism from men is straight and without a filter; women do not go as hard in their criticisms in order to not destroy that people feelings. Third, most of women use “thanks” automatically; it is easy for them to express their gratitude, although for men it doesn’t work like that. Fourth, during discussion of ideas, men would go as tough and merciless as they can, arguing every opinion or idea in the strongest terms. On the other hand, women would take that arguing as a personal attack. Fifth, men believe that the fact of saying nothing is a way to praise, while women every time they think they have done a good job, praise is expected. Sixth, men interpret complaints as a way to request the solution of a problem; women complain in order to sympathize and feel sorry for other people. Seventh and last, the sense of humor is also different. Sometimes women can view men’s jokes as being offensive. Men’s humor consists more of

Male and female differ in their use of communication because their reasons for communicating are different. Men

Communication is a multifaceted process that involves a sender, interference and a receiver. It can be significantly impacted by gender and the cultural norms within the countries of Australia and Japan. Individuals use communication to express feelings, emotions, opinions and values. Communication is therefore a vitality to human interaction between parents and children, bosses and employees or husband and wife. The differing qualities and attributes of those included in any interaction can in this way influence communication. This can be explored through gender roles and their role in the verbal and nonverbal communication process, the effect that gender has on behaviour and the aspects of society and culture that are shared between Australia and Japan.

The first thing that comes to my mind when reading an article like this is, "Has this writer maybe encountered frustrating situations like this before?", or "Is the writer possibly trying to express personal emotions in the topic discussed?" Whatever the case may be, the point she is trying to make is clear to me. It is the events and relationships that happen early on in life that may interfere and have effect on the intimate relationships that occur later on in life. This holds some truth in my opinion, and must be examined carefully to make sure and read between all the lines. Let us not neglect important detail and variables.

Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of

Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women