A Interview With My Older Sister And Her Husband, Jodie And Shaun Duke

For my interview, I interviewed my family friend Sandi Mahoney that has her masters in social work. She attended Umass Amherst for her bachelor 's degree and then she attended Framingham State for her masters. Currently, Mahoney works as a therapist at her own private practice. My first impression of the agency was it was a small building. I did not feel overwhelmed going into the building because how small it was and I knew exactly where to go. There was a secretary that was in the waiting room and she was very friendly to me. The waiting room was also very welcoming. There were pictures of happy families all over the waiting room. There was also a play area for children. If I was a client here, I would feel very comfortable talking and telling Sandi Mahoney what was on my mind.

In reading the work by Cloud & Townsend (1999) I found no real weaknesses but only strengths on how to improve a person’s marriage. Boundaries in Marriage are not only for the couples that are experiencing current problems; but for the newlyweds, more seasoned couples, and for the ones who are not yet married. Regardless of the persons situation being able to learn what boundaries are and why they are needed is an important part of a healthy marriage. Cloud & Townsend (1999) describes the values that a person must have in order to have a healthier marriage, this is a strength because they require a person to form a relationship that is closer to God first. If we put God first in our lives in not only

“Why Did I Get Married?” directed and produced by Tyler Perry is a movie based on four couples who take a reunion vacation to the Colorado Mountains in order to reunite with friends from college. On this vacation things didn’t go according to plan. Throughout the movie there was heartbreak, infidelity, suppressed feelings, conflict, and secrets raging throughout each of the couples’ relationship in some aspect. With these unfortunate events occurred at various times throughout the film it cause their trip to evolve from a place to relax, enjoy friends, and time off from work into an emotional and tense atmosphere with the involved couple seeking validation from the other couples on the reason why their marriages are the way they are. Even though the movie ended on a good note in their celebration of Janet Jackson’s character (Pat) receiving an award one of the marriages did not survive. This couple’s relationship will be my focus for this paper.

Instructor: Mrs. Joy Jacobs, CFCS, MAEd (“Mrs. J.”) E-mail address: jacobsj@msu.edu Please always use “HDFS 145" on the subject line when you e-mail. Office hours: Mrs. J. will be in the classroom one half hour before and will stay after class until all students are gone, or you may make an appointment with her. Go to this website: https://ntweb11.ais.msu.edu/aas/ Because of advising responsibilities, she is not available for walk-in appointments and she cannot take phone calls from students. She HATES playing “phone tag”, so please do not try to leave phone messages in her office! Undergraduate Learning Assistants who will be helping with this class: Abbey

Despite revealing the inequality in society for women, Margaret tries to put an end to the inequality between men and women by describing marriages where both partners are mutually respected. For example, she feels that the ideal marriage is “one of mutual esteem, mutual dependence. Their talk is of business, their affection shows itself by practical kindness” (739). Fuller believes that “mutual esteem” and “mutual dependence” lead to a relationship of equality between a man and woman. She also believes that the couple must not only have mutuality but “affection” in order to maintain equality. In addition, she feels marriages of mutuality and mutuality and affection “meet mind to mind, and a mutual trust is excited, which can buckler them against a million” (742). The author uses this passage to show that

    In the time frame that this story is set, many major life decisions things are made taking into account one’s duty to family - including the selection of a husband or wife.  It is possible that each of these couples may not have been in love,  when their vows were stated.  They have a duty to society; they must not marry outside of their social class.  They have a duty to their family;

    The person I interviewed was Mrs. L. I know her because she is my mother’s mother. The interview took place at my house and the interview lasted about 2 hours and 20 minutes. I chose to interview Mrs. L because she seems to have done everything right and in the right order to lead to a successful life. I thought it would be interesting to go into depth and find out how she really did it and find out the hardships that came with making a successful family and life. (word count: 90)

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

This family consists of five individuals. The caregivers of the family are the mother and father who have been happily married for twenty years. MS and MS have three children together, AS, MS, and CS. AS is the oldest child who is a male, nineteen years old, and attending college in Staples, MN. The middle child is MS who is a female, seventeen years old, and a senior in high school. CS is the youngest of the family and is female, eleven years old, and attending middle school. The mother has a part-time job, while the father has a full time job. They recently sold their home out in the country and moved closer to town. The interview occurred mainly via phone because of their busy schedules with the parents being the historians of the family.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Throughout this article Brady uses ethos, logos, and pathos to illustrate her opinion that the wife does too much in a family. Brady connects with her audience by relating to what was expected of them back in the 1970’s. She states reasons to why she wants a wife and lists what she says a wife would do for her. Lastly, Brady connects emotionally to her audience by

1. Question: Share some of the background of your interviewee (or couple). What was this person’s/couple’s story?

husband and a dutiful, confidant wife. However, they aren’t much of a family at all, with little to

I interviewed John and Cindy about their marriage and the challenges they’ve faced together as a married couple. I am encouraged by their relationship and have decided to use their relationship as a model for my second interview. John and Cindy have been married for almost 5 years. In addition to this union, there is McKenna, Cindy’s son. They are a blended family, of course, and are part of the more modern structure of families in our society.

Rather than giving up and ending the marriage, many couples could save the marriage by trying to work through the problems that arise. Many people do not realize how much hard work has to be put into a marriage for it to be successful. When planning a wedding, some couples spend a lot of time preparing the vows that will be exchanged during the ceremony, but sadly the partners fail to live by the vows day after day. Scores of married couples drift apart because their hectic lives do not allow them to spend enough quality time together, which is important for a healthy marriage. Communication is also an essential factor in working through problems in a marriage.