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The Plot against People Essay

Decent Essays

The Plot against People

Have you ever thought that the possibility exists that inanimate objects are in fact “plotting against people” in an effort to make our lives even more difficult than they actually are? In “The Plot against People,” Russell Baker, a newspaper columnist and humorist, adopts a wry view of the world in which he gives inanimate objects mischievous aims. As a class assignment, I was called upon to write my own version in the style of Baker.

How often is it that we are late for work or school because we could not find our keys? On how many occasions have we humans been locked out of our dorms or houses and yet have our keys remain warm and cozy inside?

These events are not isolated to one group of humans or to …show more content…

The reason for their uprising is still unknown, but their numbers are strong; to every one person, there are about three keys. As Baker explains in The Plot against People, “Many inanimate objects, of course, find it extremely difficult to break down. Therefore, they have had to evolve a different technique for resisting man. They get lost.”

Keys have power and they know it. We have all been through a time in our lives when we were trapped in our own homes because our keys were conveniently missing. Trapped in our own homes! Feelings of frustration and anger quickly build up, but meanwhile our keys stay tucked away in a dark cozy corner and snicker. They are at this point, where they want to be, in control and powerful. Russell Baker was right. Keys “frequently travel through six or seven rooms to find hiding space under a couch.”

Our keys take pleasure in putting humans in embarrassing situations. They derive a certain degree of joy from it. They enjoy seeing us walk out of a room with just a towel wrapped around us and not being in our hands but, instead, lying between the warm covers. There, they wait for the sound of the slammed door and our frightful shriek.

One of the most distressing events is having your keys locked in your car while you stand helpless and cold on the outside. This experience is not only nerve-racking, but also costly, since, most times, a locksmith may have to be called in to get you back into your car.

Keys have

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