The Solution : Forgiveness And Forgiveness

As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.

According to Ingersoll-Dayton, & Ha (2009), forgiveness intervention assisted the older adults with issues they were facing in later life by providing an outlet to free themselves of powerful yet negative emotions of sadness, anger, and betrayal. This tool gave way in allowing the older adults an opportunity to partake in self-exploration of old wounds, hidden feelings, and re-examination of past events. They were now able to function from a positon of power as they willingly transformed negative thoughts, feelings, and behavior directed toward the offending person to feelings of compassion. The effectiveness of this tool enhanced mental well-being relating to long-term forgiveness and depression along with short-term physical health however, anxiety and social support remained the same. Subsequently, there were some that affirmed the group setting provided social support making a difference as it was void of judgement while having commonalities.

Forgiveness have important medicinal effect on health. Researchers and study have shown that people who forgive have less chances of health issues like heart attack and brain tumor. “People who hold tolerance views of human nature and don’t seem to nurse grieveness unduly tend to have blood pressures in the normal range” (Callwood, J. 2007, p. 153). Writer in the above findings tells her readers the medicinal effect of tolerance. She beautifully explains the positive effect of forgiveness in contrast with unforgiveness where her contrasting finding says “Unforgiving people, some studies show, are three times more likely to have heart diseases as people who don’t carry grudges”(Callwood, J. 2007, p.153). Writer here is addressed to people who cannot or do not forgive and tells them how harmful holding grudges are to their health. She beautifully explains the finding by telling first the negative effect of not forgiving in comparison to

Jeannette’s mother did not like strict rules so all of the children could pretty much go and do whatever they wanted. Rose Mary felt that children should not be burdened with a lot of rules and restrictions. The only rule was that the kids had come home when the streetlights went on. Jeannette’s mom thought that it was good for kids to do what they wanted because they learned from their mistakes. However, if one of the kids back talked or disobeyed a direct order, they would be whipped but a belt but that was very rare. Also afterwards, Rex and Rose Mary would forgive them for what they did. Forgiveness is one of the main themes in the novel “The Glass Castle” and appears very often throughout the book. Jeannette always found a way to forgive

Though forgiveness and clemency matter significantly in social life, they play comparatively small roles in criminal justice system. The criminal procedure is dominated by the State whose interests in deterring, debilitating and imposing retribution leave little room for forgiveness. However, justice need not be so austere, intangible and uncongenial. A more modified, concrete criminal justice system could give much better credence to the benefit and needs of the offenders, victims and members of the society. An offender usually inflicts both physical and psychological injuries upon a victim. This kind of an action on the part of the offender, justifies the victim’s resentment of the offender. The resentment protests the injustice of the wrong, the victim’s self-worth, and the wrong-doer’s abuse of his moral agency.

Often we are asked the question, can justice and forgiveness go hand in hand? A lot of people believe they can’t. That only one can exist not the other. For some it’s true, they only believe someone can either give forgive, or justice, neither both. Then there are the few people who believe they go hand in hand, one can’t exist without the other. That’s true as well. I’m not sure where I stand exact on the line for these two, maybe exactly on the line. I believe they go hand in hand and in some cases only one works, all depending on the situation. Now we’ve read a number of stories regarding this, but most of them doing with forgiveness and justice going hand in hand. I’m going to talk about a few of these stories, and see where you fall

The reason I selected this topic was to better understand how helpful forgiveness is in therapy sessions. Personally, I have practiced forgiving people on a regular basis. I work in an area where people are extremely prejudiced. They often make racist jokes about different cultures especially African American. For example, I was discriminated against when trying to find an apartment in this same area. There was a large banner

offenders without actually sending them, this process was a way of letting go of the pain and

The article "Self-forgiveness: The forgotten stepchild of forgiveness research" is a qualitative rather than a quantitative study of the phenomenon of self-forgiveness. The authors distinguish self-forgiveness versus forgiveness of an 'other' in an outwardly-directed fashion. They state that self-forgiveness has been under-studied in the existing literature. The beginning of the article is devoted to a literature review of existing writings upon the subject, with using a working definition of self forgiveness "as a set of motivational changes whereby one becomes decreasingly motivated to avoid stimuli associated with the offense, decreasingly motivated to retaliate against the self 地nd increasingly motivated to act benevolently toward the self" (Hall & Fincham 2005: 622).

That’s where everything went wrong. My precious little baby was not crying like all the other babies are suppose to. I went over in a panic to my baby forgetting about the girl still bleeding on the bed. My baby wasn’t breathing. She was dead! My poor darling baby’s lungs have not developed enough to take in oxygen. I felt for the first time grief. The feeling I didn’t even feel when my own family died by my own hands when I was first turned.

There has been a significant amount of reports of emotional abuse in the United States. Nearly 35% of women have reported that they have been emotionally abused by a husband or a significant other. Spousal emotional abuse has been a problem for quite some time and the effects of the abuse are long lasting.

In Shiver’s article, A Bridge Across Abysses of Revenge, he claims that for forgiveness in politics to occur the past must not be forgotten. He states, “Citizens must cope with the injustices that have divided them before they contract for a justice that will unite them” (Helmick, & Petersen, 2001, p. 155). Shiver makes his point by discussing the different approaches to how nations have dealt with war crimes and massacres, and great injustices from the past, such as Americas denial of the “No Gun Ri Massacre” that occurred in South Korea in 1950. In his article, Shiver compares America’s tendency to deny and/or forget the past to Germany’s ability to embrace their mistakes and in return find true forgiveness and reconciliation. He encourages

The encouragement of forgiveness in one way or another is a universal concept of the Christian religion. However, cultural dispositions of forgiveness are cultivated differently for blacks and whites in America. The message of forgiveness within the context of catastrophic violence and loss is emphatically expressed in Black churches all across America. An example of this message includes the Sunday school lesson called, “A Love That Forgives”, prepared for students at the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Al on September 15, 1963. Ironically, that same day there was a racial bombing, killing four little girls. Reverend Martin Luther King, who conducted a speech before the burial of the four little girls said, "We must develop and

In the King James Version of the Bible, there is a parable told called the Prodigal Son. As this story is told in Luke 15:11-32, we are told of a story where a wealthy man has two sons. One son stays behind and decides to work for his father and inherit a good life beside him. The younger son decides he will ask for money from his father, and leave him behind. As time goes on, this son goes out into the world and shortly after, loses all of his money he had received from his father. Because of this, he is ashamed and takes his time on his way back home. But when he eventually does make it home, he is welcomed with open arms to a loving father who could not be any happier to see his son. Although the father is happy to see

When I was younger when I felt defeated or that I wasn’t forgiven for something I would make sure to be more observant and build a wall to make sure I didn’t do it again. What I didn’t realize was that I was only hurting myself by doing this. I would separate myself from the situation rather than face it .