Passion: The Key To An Abusive Relationship

Early on in a relationship, when the controlling behaviors are typically less intense. less severe, and are imposed under the disguise of good intentions, it may be very difficult to clearly identify them as part of a pattern. Often the victim views the first violent incident as an isolated incident. This coupled with the batterer’s likely remorse and promises to never repeat the behavior can cause a victim to be easily persuaded to stay and “work it out”.

In the article “Five Reasons People Abuse their Partners”, written by Carrie Askin, she discusses why men decide to abuse their spouse. Also, Askin is the Co-Director of Menergy, which is a treatment center for abusive partners. Askin goes into great depth and thinks psychological of the many reasons why someone would abuse another person. Askin did not blame it on their behavior but she revealed that a person may be abusive because this person may not know how to react when their ego is bruised, they feel entitled, lack of empathy, lack of accountability, and unaddressed trauma. And then she elaborated on each point. So Askins’s goal by listing those five topics was to show people that there is a deeper reason on why someone may be abusive.

Next comes the phase of violence, which is characterized by hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, the use of objects or weapons, verbal threats or abuse, and sexual abuse. The final phase that sets the individuals up for the cycle to continue is the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is noted by calm and apologetic demeanor. The individuals tend to go through denial about the abusive behavior, come up with excuses, and make promises about future behavior. While it is important to know how professionals define dating violence, it is also pivotal that those in the helping professions also have an understanding of how the teens themselves view the violence that occurs in their relationships. According to one study teens define abuse according to the context, intent, and actual harm caused (O’Keefe, 2005). In another study teens actually reported that in situations where revenge, retaliation, or prevention of face loss was the reason for the abusive behavior, the violence was justified (Sears, Byers, Whelan, & Saint-Pierre, 2006, p 1197). In the same study individuals reported that they also took into consideration whether the act was a result of their partner “just kidding” or a demonstration of their caring for their partner. Not only do definitions of interpersonal violence vary across the board, but they also vary significantly between males and females. Males and females have very different views as to what the purpose of

Many women and men seek intimate relationships in order to fill their emotional needs of security, safety and love. Their journey starts off with their loved ones spoiling them with flattering gifts and emotional words. The love they feel is so wonderful and deep that they believe that nothing can come between them. They are so happy and convinced that they will live happily ever after with the one they love. Unfortunately, the fairytale they have dreamt about was only temporary and soon comes to an end. The love story they have ones longed for turns into a horrible nightmare. The emotional words they were once spoiled with turn into howling screams and name-calling. The flattering gifts turn into physical abuse. This relationship is referred to as domestic violence or intimate partner violence. This happens when a partner or significant other declares power, authority and control over the other partner. To maintain this authority and control, the abusive partner uses emotional, physical or sexual abuse over his victim (Alters 27). Victims will desperately look for an exit out of this relationship, but only to be blocked by numerous walls of the despair, fear and misery. Many people are convinced that victims have the option of leaving, but they are too weak and they choose not to. What many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers. In most cases the outcomes of leaving are

The first few years on a relationship, everything seems gold plated and perfect. Respecting, honoring significant others is a given, but unfortunately some feel the urge and need to claim their dominance over the relationship. Unexpected things would eventually start occurring, like physical assaults, diminished self-worth, and sometimes even child abuses are consequences of trying to dominate the members in a household. After growing up in a household where the abusive environment is dominating, people are known to develop trust issues, disturbed and unreal perceptions of reality; the solution may not always be clear, but immediate action is to be taken from the abused party or victims.

Women and men with low-self-esteem tend to be afraid to start over or walk away from the things they have built with their abusive partner, so they attend to except a lot therefore they become victims of explosive conflict. Most women and men hold on to their partner in hopes that they will change therefore they have to walk around as they are walking on hot coals, in hopes that they won’t set the bad temper individual off. In this case a lot of physical and mental abuse takes place.

As stated previously, the victim might believe that the abuser will change for the better or they stick it out for the honeymoon/calm phase. However, there are many other motivators for a victim to stay in an abusive relationship. Victims in abusive relationships could have had a very tumultuous and abusive childhood therefore abuse is what they are familiar with and as humans we seek out what is familiar to us. Even if a victim is able and willing to escape an abusive relationship, things do not always begin to get immediately better. As stated before, the abuser wants to control and have power over the victim. So if the victim leaves, the abuser experiences a loss of power. This causes a majority of the abusers to begin stalking, harassing, and threatening the victim as a ploy to regain their previously held power over them. Once the victim has broken out of their abusive relationship their lives can actually be more at risk than when they were in the relationship due to the drastic measures that abusers may take to regain their loss of power over the victim. As stated by Injuryprevention.bmj.com, an international peer-reviewed journal for health professionals and others in injury prevention, one fifth of homicide victims with restraining orders are murdered within two days of obtaining the order and one third are murdered within the first month. Embarrassment is another key motivator for victims, especially males, to stay in an abusive relationship. The victim does not want to admit that they are being abused by their significant other for fear of seeming weak to their family and friends. It is very hard for men to admit that they are being abused by women as women are supposed to be stereotypically weaker than them. For those in same-sex abusive relationships, the victim’s family and friends might not be aware that they

Abuse can come in many forms, including those that we cannot physically see. Intimate partner violence can occur physically, sexually, and psychologically and emotionally. Physical violence includes the use of physical force, such as slapping, hitting, kicking, grabbing, throwing, use of a weapon, and the like, with the intention to cause harm, injure, or kill (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Sexual violence describes violence that uses force to compel a person to engage in sexual activity against their will or ability to decline. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). And lastly, psychological and emotional violence involves harming the victim through the use of threats or coercive tactics such as, but not limited to, humiliating, controlling, isolating, or stalking (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Similarly, there are two major forms of intimate partner abuse: intimate terrorism and situational couple violence (Leone, Lape, and Xu). Intimate terrorism describes a pattern of abuse in which one partner exercises a cycle of continuous power and control over their significant other by means of physical or coercive actions that trap their victim in the relationship while, in contrast, situational couple violence refers to violence that it provoked by a specific conflict (Leone, Lape, and Xu). Overall, it is clear that intimate partner abuse occurs in a variety of ways and to varying degrees of

It is important to understand why a victim will engage with abusers in order to understand how to stop the cycle of abuse. The victim sees themselves as the problem, not the partners making it easier to blame themselves as the cause of their suffering (Nicholas, 2013). When a person leaves an abusive situation that does not always mean that it is the end of the relationship; this is particularly true if there are children or shared assets because there is a sense of obligation to remain (Baholo et al., 2015). There is little understanding into why women remain with an abusive partner, which makes it harder to track why a woman would have subsequent relationships with partners that exhibit similar abusive tendencies (Bell, Goodman, & Dulton, 2009). There is a lack of understanding of the “bigger picture” which needs to be identified and explored (Bell, Goodman, & Dulton, 2009).

More than 24 million people of the United States of America are victims of relationship abuse in a given year. Women are not the only sufferers because it happens to men too. Stoprelationshipabuse.org defines relationship abuse as “a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner.” Sources say that it can stem from childhood experiences or caused by alcohol. Facts and myths cloud the subject and create misinterpretations on the causes. Either of these can create detrimental effects to the victims. Abuse is a choice that can be influenced by outside factors.

Relationships are always portrayed to children and adolescents by Disney to be like a fairytale. Everything will be perfect and they will live happily ever after. The problem is that not everyone’s relationship is a fairytale or has a happy ending. Couples go through problems that can be overcome but sometimes one of the partners can have a different way of overcoming it using violence against the other partner. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website (2016), violent relationships can start at the beginning of a relationship and last a long time. It can be from something so simple like name calling and can continue to escalade until the relationship becomes violent. A survey done in the United States by the

Relationships always start off good and usually we hope they stay that way, but that is not always the case. Men and woman soon find themselves in abusive relationships filled with pain and regret. Movies and T.V shows give us vast examples of abusive relationships such as intimate terrorism.

Like many woman, her attacker was the man she shared the best years of her life with, her husband. At this moment she continues to suffer psychologically from the experience she fell victim to. With this in mind, we will examine what constitutes intimate partner abuse, the risk and protective factors, and indicators of intimate partner abuse. As well as the victim’s frame of mind and experience regarding the areas to be discussed.

Abuse is not always physical violence. Emotional and verbal abuse fall into the non-physical abuse aspect. Just because there is no physical pain, these types of abuse eventually lead to fear, and should not be overlooked. Also, these types of abuse may reflect why victims have a problem leaving their spouse. Being too fearful to leave is one of the most common reasons why victims stay with an abusive partner. Sometimes when couples argue, there is a type of violence within the home where the abuse consist of couples pushing one another, slapping and grab one another, but the abuse never goes further. This too is abuse, and should be dealt with just as seriously as the type of abuse that lands victims in the hospital with a black eye. No abuse is too small to be

Abuse can have many different meanings, there is one in particular that takes control in many Americans relationship, “physical maltreatment” (Abuse). Sadly there is an increasing amount of young adults going through an abusive relationship or were in one. Many of the people that become abusers consider violence as a normal behavior because they have witnessed it on a daily basis. They than begin to mistreat everyone that comes in his or her way. An abuser is frequently interested in controlling their victims. An abuser’s behavior is usually manipulating, in order to make their victims