My Failures, Edges And Fears

I never thought I would be labeled an outsider, a misfit even. As I trudged my way through the halls of my small town high school, I would endure the gazing pairs of eyes, that belonged to my peers, followed by whispering and often times some laughter. I always used zone out during those repetitive speeches and commercials about the effects of gossiping and rumors; never did I imagine that one day I would be on the receiving end of of the everyday potshot. Growing up I was always the center of attention, the one everyone yearned to be friends with, never was I the antisocial child in the corner with nowhere to turn… not until high school. They say high school changes you. They say high school accounts for some of the greatest years of

Becoming of older age, I began to understand that it’s perfectly fine to be imperfect. The extraordinary person I believed I would never become started off by committing faults and mistakes. Despite the fact that I was treated differently it pushed me toward understanding that I am enough. No matter what obstacles or battles I come across I’ve convinced myself to ignore the negativity surrounding me and converting it to positivity.

I despised myself for being different. All I ever wanted was to fit in, but I couldn't even do that... Because in my mind it would taunt me constantly, just saying I'm worthless and everyone thinks I'm weird or ugly, a show-off... It just seemed to never end. All this feeling caused was poison to relationships with friends and family, low self-esteem, isolation, shyness, and mumbling and simply not enjoying life as a kid. Even though after years of going through therapy and fighting with my parents a lot and having to grow up too soon. It felt as if I were being trapped in a bird cage while the outside's beauty just mocked you, while you're just cooped up in misery and desperately wanting to fly away. Majority time I always had this current state of mind thinking of just wanting to fade away from this world and not looking back and wondering if people would even notice when I'm gone.Rather than allowing this awful depression to spiral my life out of control, I decided that I was not going to let it get in the way of my goals for the future. The decision I made 4 years ago to start appreciating life still remains today and my outlook has changed on the whole situation

The obstacles that I went through was having to not think about my dad’s death and also when my mom got sick and she had to have 4 surgeries because she had arthritis.I was only 5 years old when my dad died he was out and saw his friend getting beat up and went to go get the guy off his friend and the other guy had a machete and stabbed my dad with it. That night my mom got a call from the police saying that my dad has been killed. I know I was young, but it was hard trying to get over the fact that I don’t have a dad anymore because of some guy who thought it was right to kill him. It was tough on my family we couldn’t get over it he died on my sister’s birthday that midnight. I tried a lot of things to forget about my dad’s death, but it just couldn’t help me. When i started getting older and older I just told myself that he is in a better place and that he is watching over us and not to

I wanted to apply to the school all my friends were going to, but yet again my parents didn’t let me. I applied to DESA and I quickly got in! My experience there wasn’t the best but it also wasn’t the worst. My sixth grade year was an okay year. In sixth grade I taught everyone who was in my graduating class. I made great connection with each and every one of them. I also made great connection with my entire teacher as well. I like to think that I was all of my teacher favorite students. No matter how much my old school prepared me I wasn’t ready. I stilled made really good grade and kept my GPA up, but for those grades I struggled a lot. My 7th grade year was the worst. A lot of negatively things were going on in my life and I was the same person. Once 8th grade rolled around slowly but surely I started to act like myself again. After these three years, I’m happy that I went to that school. I learned so much not education wise but also life wise. Without the stuff that I went through I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now. I’m very grateful for that

Everyone is too quick to point out all of my flaws. It hurts. I know I’m not perfect but that doesn’t give you, or Samara the right to openly announce my flaws. I just wanted to clean up, and for me the afternoon is my most awake time. You may think I am being a little ridiculous but I think my medication knocks me out for the night so I’m a little dosey in the morning. I also sometimes have little bouts of OCD where I feel that everything should be in order. I think that I feel that maybe if the things around me are in order then my mind will also be in order. I know that the bag wasn’t thrown directly at me, but simultaneously it was. It was directed as a throw to what I was doing, instead of kindly telling me to stop, both of you took

Not only did I lose confidence in myself, but I lost my ability to stick up for myself. I remember countless times I would finally acquire the courage and confidence to say or do something, but as soon as I would take action, someone would wreck my short-lived moment of confidence by deprecating me. People could walk all over me, and I wouldn’t do anything about it. As an easy target, they knew I would never stick up for myself, because I wanted to create peace and please everyone. Never creating conflicts and having everyone’s friendship are all I had concern for. Little did I know, I belittled myself, making myself seem so insignificant, as if I were just a speck, allowing everyone to shine but

Whether taking test, or practicing for a game, there is always the pressure of utter failure. That failure can either make you choke, and get the better of you or encourage you to try again, and try harder. I recall a time when I was in the third grade, and I felt defeated. There was this program called Awana where you memorize bible verses, and play games. Within the program they had there own competition for kids that can memorize questions, and answers,

As a teenage there are not many obstacles that have faced, but there are a few. One obstacles that I have overcame in my life was the death of my aunt. During my junior year in october one of my aunt's passed away during her mother's birthday dinner. One minute we were eating and then the next we were at the hospital. It was so unexpected to say the least. This was the first death in our family in 18 years and none of us new how to cope with this sudden loss. I had never felt this grief or loss for someone ever in my life. I had to learn how to grieve and continue on. A similar thing happened when my uncle died last year. I had to be able to grieve and move on because I had so much to do with my everyday life and school.

My parents started to notice my dejection. To cheer me up, they gave me a card to a library, stimulating my passion for knowledge and diminishing my relations with others. Eventually, my diligence paid off, and I had the opportunity to skip a grade. It was not until I became the upperclassman to my old peers did they start to develop an interest in reconnecting. This caused me to realize that the people who disliked me due to socially constructed stigmas should have no power to dictate my worth. I have the power to stand up for myself and constitute my identity.

Growing up, I was always the chubbier kid in the class. I wasn’t skilled at sports like everyone else and was considered a “loser”. It was extremely hard listening to all the mean comments and my self of steam eventually died down. At times, I couldn’t get the courage to get out of bed in the morning because I knew it would just be another day of humiliation. Life is like a roller coaster, we have times that are low and times that are high. But we would never know the feeling of a good time unless we’ve gone through the bad times.

There are times that you don’t want to interact with new people, and making new friends. You don’t want to go outside, because of our surroundings because of what people will say. We know that we get criticized about what we wear every day. We are judged in which music we listen to, how we dress, and who we hang out with in school

My life has been filled with problems with learning or getting to know new people since I wasn't a very good learner or very sociable. All my failures from my past school experience and dropping out of high school in 10th grade it just made my learning ability difficult to understand things in college since there was a lot of things I do not know and wasn't ever taught the result from that made me hate failure and the ability not to give up until the very end also bad parts of my life just shaped me into a person who doesn't like meeting new people. Always I mean always provide a first bad impression I don't know why but that's how I first present myself being part of a group makes me feel uncomfortable reason why is that wasn't ever around people or kids and slowly enjoyed time alone and when I got older I simply just did not like meeting new

I went around the classroom asking everyone where they were from and when I was asked I told my classmates I was half Jamaican and half African. Thinking back, I don't know why I did it, I mean I know why at the time, I was ashamed of being African most Africans where I grew up were ashamed. It was cooler to be West Indian. ("Bola Agbaje-One of England's most talented playwrights" 2012)

It is common knowledge that life is supposed to be hard and you are going to meet people that don’t like you for you being yourself. Additionally, my parents would always say this and repeat it to me in order to get me to understand and accept it. The thing is, it was hard accepting that. For instance, during sixth and seventh grade, I cared a lot of what other people thought of me. I wanted it everyone to think I was cool and, most importantly, I wanted to make many long-lasting friendships. However, this