Why are we so afraid of failure? Not of our own failure, but of our children's? I don't have a child, of course we all know this, but I sometimes find myself more worried about my younger sister's failures than I am my own.
We are so afraid of other people failing because we know how much it sucks. Each and everyone of us has failed miserably at some point in our lives, no matter how big or how small. We recognize the struggle, the frustration and the overall feeling of disappointment.
I'll be honest, I've failed in numerous areas. I technically never 'passed' speech therapy and I've failed a lot of exams: A spelling test [I got 19 wrong out of 20], an Economics Exam I actually studied for [I got 0/100], and my AP Spanish Exam
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I felt like a failure when I crashed my brand new car against a wall [Whoops]. I failed miserably at a Swim Meet too. Now before you think it's "just swimming," you have to understand, I LOVED swimming. It was my life and my joy, I swam almost 6-7 hours a day and loved the Butterfly Stroke. That swim meet one was tough; I threw out my shoulder swimming butterfly at my first Varsity Meet. I was in first place too, but throwing out my shoulder and obviously I lost that within seconds. Mind you, I was also starting to be scouted by West Point at UCLA [West Point wanted female swimmers to compete against the Navy, which is kinda cool] and I was supposed to report my swim times to them (I was a sophomore in High School, but my butterfly time was that of a College Freshman). After throwing out my shoulder during the race, I was out for that season and lost my fly time for years. But, that race? I finished it. At least in the grand scheme of things, I can say I swam butterfly one-armed and got last place. I tucked the injured arm by my torso, swam the last two laps with one arm at a …show more content…
None of it's fair for a kid to go through so much, but it's better they do this as children than as adults.
Now, I see some obviously worry about their child's success. They think that maybe school is too hard for them, let's place them in an easier setting so they can excel.
To which, I cringe.
Childhood is the best time to learn how to fail and, I'd argue, the worst time to excel. If they excel too much, they take success for granted. If they fail too much, they may shut down. It's a balancing act, isn't it? But, regardless, failing in childhood is merely a part of the journey of growing as a person.
They are young enough to recover; even if you put them in the most difficult atmosphere and they shut down completely, you can pull them out altogether and re-route. However, what if they are still trying to do their best and still at-best mediocre? Then you fight with them, never remove them from a fight if they want to finish it.
Great, now this sounds like a wrestling match. Anyways, these children with Apraxia have an opportunity to discover something at a very young age:
Failure Happens, It's How You Overcome That Failure That Brings
Roger Von Oech proved that a person who has no experience in failing would not have enough strength or a harder time getting back up. In his article, “To Err Is Wrong”, he talks about having a friend who just graduated with a master degree and is having a hard time getting a job. He says her problem is, “she doesn’t know how to fail”(Oech 89). He explains that because of her inexperience in failing, she is afraid of taking chances in doing what might not go right. For me, I have failed at many things like writing an essay but like many people when I receive the grade I just don’t throw the essay.
Fear can hold humans back for many reasons. The fears of failure and disappointment are only two of the reasons people give up before they have even begun. Not only does C.S. Lewis tell that “we can guard against the illusions of the imagination” but also in the bible it says,
In addition, the willingness to learn through failure can help to reach the desired destiny. Nearly everybody fears failing, because it has been associated with all sorts of negativity. Although an optimistic look on the other side of tripping or falling down in life can make someone to be successful in
Statsky mentions in her essay "failure should not be a part of their childhood" (272). I do not agree with her statement because if children are kept away from any type of failure they will eventually grow up and fail at some point and as adults, they will not take it well. As children, they might lose a game or daily once or twice but kids easy forget things and move on whereas adults tend to have a harder time coping well with failure. In the children have failed at a younger as when they encounter another failure and are older they will recognize the feeling and know how to better handle the situation. Failing also teaches us to get back up and keep trying, try harder and learn from the mistakes that led us to fail the first time.
“The idea of trying and still failing - of leaving yourself without excuses - is the worst fear within the fixed mindset” (Dweck, 2016, p. 42). At least with a growth mindset a failure means one tried. There is nothing wrong with failure as long as the effort was present. In order to achieve maximum effort it can consist of one’s ability, drive, and any additional help an individual is willing to take.
Dr. Tim Elmore, author of 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid states, "While we parents hate seeing our kids fail, I don't think we can truly mature without facing it in life--and the earlier, the better." Everyone fails and the sooner parents stop protecting their children from this reality, the quicker they can move on and mature. This also allows those who deserve to accel to feel like they worked hard for a purpose. Elmer furthers his argument, saying, "Kids who've never tested their abilities grow into emotionally brittle young adults who are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.” Failure is not always the worst option. It can be used as a coach and shouldn’t always be feared. Failure is a part of life and kids need to learn to accept it. Participation awards are taking away from this life
I believe Jimmy Connors best embodied my attitude toward failure in his iconic quote, “I hate to lose more than I love to win.” As someone who has actively participated in sports all throughout high school, as well as serving captain of the varsity football team this senior year, I am no stranger to Failure. As time goes on I have noticed the losses tend to stick more than the wins. I believe this is because of all the ‘what if’s that accompany failure. What if I had been a little bit faster? What if we didn’t drop that pass? What if we stopped that play? No matter the team, no matter how hard we played, every loss always left me with these same questions times 1000. However, no loss was more impactful than this year’s Thanksgiving day game
I am not new to the idea of failing, but I refuse to accept failure as a mistake I will be remembered by. Through recent experiences I have learned how to react to failure, ask for help, and move on with my life.
. . paralyze [mavericks, dissenters, and dreamers] by insisting that every step be a step up to the next rung of the ladder.” I completely agree. To tell people that have potential, ability, and talent, that they ought to succeed without ever tasting failure, this is not only unrealistic but also deprecating. In so doing, we hold them back; for we do not tell them about all the times that things did not go according to plan. Additionally, we do not tell them about our missteps; we only tell them about our achievements. Parents say “Don’t fail!” and cause their children to become more prone to deficiency. This is why we must let it be known that failure is a part of life, and that to go through it simply helps to eliminate paths that will not lead to
Failure is also an achievement, with a negative result, opposite of accomplishment. A mother that shows no interest in raising her children, the children are not productive or morally responsible end in an achievement in failure by that mother. Not all negative achievements are failures. A negative achievement can become a positive, again it depends on the achiever and what they choose do with the achievement in question. “Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”- Winston Churchill. Throughout history the most successful people had a relationship with failure and still went on to make their mark on the world. You can have a live time of fails and one success to make it all worth it. “I suppose there are clues about his life there in the shut-up-and-locked room, perhaps even some traces of my mother, but better to be content with ignorance, I’ve always thought, than haunted by the truth” (Brume 101). A given opportunity to achieve (negative or positive) should not be ignored, it’s a gift of a life experience that expands your senses and enhances thought, it’s not something to be afraid of. Bravery can only be filtered through fear, being able to
Have you ever felt like an adult has prevented you from feeling failure or disappointment? Did you know that a little disappointment as a child can actually benefit you later in life? When a child faces disappointment it is best to teach them “how to bounce back from it and cope with failure.” Ways to do that are decrease the praise, be a good role model, be their guide, and encourage them to try new things.
Failing can happen with whatever, whether it's riding a bike, taking a test, talking to people, or just plain walking. The importance of failing is that the lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. My people will tell stories on how they failed at something and then were able to improve from that. Well here's my story.
In fact, the main reason to fear failure is how we imagine how others will view us when we fail. For example, if an individual keeps doing the same thing over and over, then the results will never change. As Albert Einstein stated, “a person, who never made a mistake, never tried anything new” (Brenner). Failure is not the enemy, but a life-changing experience. It is a human experience, and it prepares the way for us to grow and transform our lives. Mistakes are essential to the development of life, just as change is. Nevertheless, change is said to prepare us for life and without change, life would persistently be the same.
Everyone is born with a fear of failure. Failure is a part of our human nature, it is ingrained in us. Any successful person has achieved their success through failure. You can’t prevent it in any way, and it’s pointless to try and in the end, it will come. Some people have such a large fear of failure, they pass it onto their children, such as Morley Callaghan’s friend’s father. He gave his child only one chance, and lost all faith in him because of one failure. As a result of this, his friend lost all faith in himself and soon dropped out of school
Traditionally, failure is seen as a negative concept and is defined as lacking success. I, on the other hand, try to put a positive spin on everything in life. I see failure as an obstacle that is experienced by all, but it does not define an individual. Failure in essence will force an individual to be more receptive to their surroundings and actions and also will force an individual to mature. Looking back on my childhood years I can now pinpoint the areas where I failed and I can confidently say that I have grown and prospered due to those failures. The three major failures I have experienced were my attention deficit issues which affected my ability to succeed in school, my anti-social habit that I let consume my early years, and my