Family and Ann Essay

Eileen was married for twenty-five years to her best friend John, and together they had three children, two girls, and one boy. Her marriage ended in 1985 when John was tragically killed by a drunk driver. When my mother learned of my father’s death by the police department, she had a complete “meltdown”. How was she going to raise her three children? How

Carers - a carer is anyone who cares, unpaid, for a friend or family member who due to illness, disability, a mental health problem or an addiction cannot cope without their support.

She has been trained to trust in her husband blindly and sees no other way. He calls her “little girl” (352) and “little goose” (349) and states “She will be as sick as she pleases!” (352) whenever she tries to express her issues. Instead of fighting for what she thinks will make her better she accepts it and keeps pushing her feelings aside, while he treats her like a child. We get an instant feel for her problem in the first page when she says, “John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that” (pg 346). A woman shouldn’t expect her husband to laugh at her concerns. Even after briefly writing about her condition she remembers her husband telling her the very worst thing she can do is think about it and follows his instructions. This is when she begins to focus on the house instead of her problems and the obsession with the wallpaper starts. She has nothing else to think about alone in the home; they don’t even allow her to write, which she has to do in secret.

Mrs B is an independent woman that’s always looked after herself and her family but now she’s the one receiving care and this can be related to the functionalism theory of sociology, which focuses on the Norms, Roles and Values, stability and continuity interdependence and integration and dysfunctionality. She feels as the head of her family she should be the one giving the care, but the role has been taken away from her so she has become deviant. She feels that she has been labelled that she can no longer look after herself and this can be related to the symbolic interactionist theory of sociology. She fears that her family will put her into a care home but she is adamant to go back to her own home, this behaviour can be understood using the humanistic theory in psychology which is focused on free will and personal choice. Mrs B has low self-esteem since the accident, she feels she has no personal worth and her friends and family would resent her if she accepts any help from them and because of this she won’t reach

“As people get more educated and complex in their minds, their ability to suffer increases, because they can create a greater variety of sufferings.” - Sadhguru. The narrator and John had a very interesting relationship or marriage. Throughout their marriage the narrator and John would always argue over her condition. So he decided to rent out a huge house just for her to get better. She wasn’t getting better in anyway, she was in fact getting worse. He would constantly say she was “okay” and never had a condition other than nervousness. He never listened to her or what she had to say. Finally John would keep her locked in the room not letting her out to interact with other people.

Although originally Ann was disappointed and frustrated that Yetunde was not able to help with lifting Angus and not able to carry out tasks such a collecting shopping, eventually Ann appears to have accepted this by understanding Yetunde’s role. Yetunde made her role clear to Ann and the family right from the beginning. Being honest and setting out clear expectations and boundaries is paramount in obtaining good working relationships, as the service user is not given any false pretence. This may cause frustration and disappointment, however it is the role of the care worker to ensure that their role is explained and understood by the service user and that expectations and boundaries are discussed to avoid confusion and problems later on in the relationship. Being honest gains respect and trust, these are key in building good, effective relationships between care worker and service user.

The majority of carers are women (finch and groves 1983) and significant proportions are under the age of 18. This is known as a young carer, which is defined as ‘someone, under the age of 18, who looks after, or helps to care for, a family member who has a disability, mental ill health, a blood borne virus or a problematic use of drugs or alcohol. They may provide hands-on caring, and/or may be affected themselves by someone in their family who needs care’ (Dundee Carers Centre, 2009). There are difficulties identifying young carers because many do not disclose their caring role for fear of being separated from their parents and family members, bullying and social exclusion. Also there is a large amount of emotional strain for younger carers who do not access the services they are entitled to.

The landlord does not maintain the property well and this has led to damp which has led to Cheryl having lots of chest infections. Jack has never contributed towards Cheryl and wants nothing to do with her. Jane finds it hard to manage on welfare, especially as her rent is so expensive and so Jane often goes without food to provide her daughter with the things she requires. Jane has been accessing the local Sure start centre for the health visitor, play group and parent support services. This has help Jane to be a better mother and stopped her feeling isolated.

The Gillison family has dealt with many emotional situations. Both Meshia and her partner Tahir have lost a parent, which has been very emotionally straining on their lives. Meshia was very close to her father. When he was diagnosed with end stage lung cancer and she had to witness him go through hospice treatment and care it took a toll on her. After her father’s death her mother and sister decided to move down south due to the new financial strains of being without her father’s income. Meshia decided to stay in Connecticut because she thought it would be best to raise her

Their differences created the conflicts between them. John, as a physician, is very practical and rationalistic. He disregards the existence of anything that cannot be seen or felt and therefore does not believe that his wife was ill even though through reading her thoughts and emotions it was clear that she was suffering severely. The woman on the other hand, is very imaginative and sensitive. John believes that all his wife needs is rest and therefore her treatment is that she does no work and especially no writing. He felt that her condition would be made worst if she does any form of work or writing. The woman strongly disagrees with John on the type of treatment that he has suggested. She thinks that having daily activities, freedom, and interesting work would help her condition and so she starts to create secret journal in an attempt to alleviate her mind and to prevent her illness from getting the best of her. John continuously suppresses her thoughts, feelings and concerns about her illness which portrays him in a sense as a “villain”. He does not provide her with the space or opportunity to try other alternatives other than the “rest cure” so that she might overcome her illness. The woman wants to write about her feelings and her conditions but she is not allowed and so she has to struggle to hide her writings from John and his sister. The fact that she cannot freely write and openly express her feelings to John strains her and drains

As the story begins, the narrator’s relationship with John is already erupting. She does not agree that extensive rest is the best thing for her and feels that “congenial work, with excitement and change,” would be more suitable for her needs. However, she does feel that he knows best and seems consciously guilty of overlooking it. She informs the reader that “I have a scheduled prescription for each hour in the day; he takes all care from me, and so I feel basely ungrateful not to value it more” (Gilman 239). These conflicting emotions cause the narrator to have stress. There are times when she wishes she could write in her journal freely, but she knows that John would disapprove and condemn her for it. Writing is her way of expressing feelings and thoughts, but keeps it hidden from John which is tiring. As

Vanessa’s daughters are becoming more independent adults, which includes them moving out and the home. This is causing Vanessa to feel more depressed because she feels she is losing her daughters, and losing her purpose in life. Vanessa still has one daughter at home, but is increasingly dissatisfied because she is not connecting with her. She feelings misunderstood and undervalued by her youngest daughter and her husband. Finally, Vanessa also is experiencing increasing feelings of insecurity and loneliness because with her daughters absence she realizes she does not have any friends. She has placed on herself the pressure to make friends, and this is increasing her anxiety and her insecurities.

My family is friendly and welcoming when interacting with other people. My cousin who has been living with his Turkish girlfriend for more than 5 years got engaged. The girlfriend’s parents came to our house to meet the rest of the family. On that day, my aunts cooked the finest dish and the house was basically clean and with some bouquets of flowers. Her parents were so delighted on how close my family is and we instantly created a special familial bound with people that we meet for the first time. My family and I have a strong bond, we are always there for another in any situation. I live in Cambria Heights; my neighborhood is full of Caribbean people especially Haitians. If we are talking to someone and we see that they are Haitians, we constantly speak Creole with them rather than talking in a foreign language.

My family and I are all Catholic. I owe a lot of my values and love and character to my faith. Faith is so important for all of my family members. Ve base all of our family values and what we do off of God and the teaching of the faith. From my parents, to my cousins, to my grandparents, faith is the cornerstone of out life. To be initiated into my Catholic faith, I was Baptized. I was Baptized in October 29, 2006 at St. Anselm Church in San Anselmo. This was a big celebration for my and all of my family and close family friends were invited for this special day. I don’t remember much from this day, but I know I was very well behaved, wink, wink! The atmosphere was amazing. The fact that I was going to become a part of the Catholic Church was a big deal for all of my family and friends. I had two Godfathers when I was baptized. One of them was our good family friend, Loic. I am so grateful that he my Godfather because he is always there, and I am so happy that he is close to our family. My other Godfather was my my uncle, Chuck. He had always been the best joke teller, but he is also a very important part of my extended family. I am so grateful that both of these guys became my Godparents.

For all my life my family has been very close. My mother’s family has always been close by and we have always celebrated every holiday together, spent birthdays and we always got together to eat dinner. Even though my father’s side of the family lives scattered throughout the country we always found times to travel and see each other. We did not see each other on holidays except for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it is the one time of the year I get to spend with my entire family. I always love the craziness and even though my father hates cooking for forty people he does it because it is so important to my family. He knows the only thing that matters is our family is all there and it brings us all closer for that one time of the year. My family on paper seems happy and perfect but it is not. My family has had stressful times with illness and deaths and when people thought it would tear us apart it did not it brought us all closer.